h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Who’d have thought it’s now been 2 years since my blood father passed away. It doesn’t seem that long. In fact, I had to check that it wasn’t just last year. I remember distinctly coming out of the chapel after having the service for my father, and looking around for my Dad. Mum got there first and I cried. The emotion to this day is difficult to comprehend. I don’t know whether I cried because he was dead; whether it was because I’d lost the chance of ever seeing him again and asking the questions I’d always wanted the answers to; or whether it was an overflowing of relief that that particular section of my life was now a closed book.

Reflecting back on the last two years, so many things have happened that perhaps have held me back from contemplating on my emotions. The attack nearly 2 years ago. The hospitalisation for stomach pains (3 times) resulting in an eventual operation which showed nothing. My having left my partner for 2 days, which was the big sign that my depression was now out of control leading to long term sick off work. The death of my beloved Nanna: and, eventually, an operation to remove my appendix. Phew. What a lot in 2 years. Can anyone blame me for having flipped a little?

Well, actually, I flipped a lot. Unable to make decisions. Unable to do the smallest of tasks set for me daily by my partner of 12 years. I’d sit and stare. Or cry uncontrollably. I’d sit and rock myself quite a bit too. Without knowing I was doing it. I’d quite often have suicidal thoughts too, but I was too afraid of the pain to do anything about it. I was also petrified of hurting my family with such an act. I still don’t know if suicide is selfish or brave. I’ll sit on the fence with that one I think.

I’d also look for the lies in anything that was said to me. Untrusting towards those who were friends: I am slowly regaining those friends back now. Its hard work, but some of them are truly worth it.

Looking back, the whole 2 years were the most frightening years of my life. Something I would not wish on my worst enemy. Well… perhaps one…

I’m a strong person now. Well on the road to being healed


And…best of all…my life is progressing forward the way I want it to. What more could a girl ask for?

I wish you all the best it does sound like you had a hard time of it when a family memeber or close friennd dies it can be catastrophic and you feel like life is not worth living but you found the road to renewal but remember now you have to stay strong.

Not much that I can think of, VV. It's just so good to see you coming out of it all on that brighter side.

And if you need help with the postage to dump the worst to that "other", ...

...maybe some choc and a big

No good at these things, but and I think you're a more certain person because of it.

I am honored to be your friend. you had some rough times, but you showed us the potential climb up the mountian. you are inspiration.

one other thing you can be thankfull is having good friend in your mother!

hear Vicki sing
I will survive...

You did very well to survive all that. I have had the same symptoms of depression, I know what a difficult pit to climb out of that is. Well done.

*hands round the hobnobs*

I'm with Icky on this one .......

Hobnobs?

*munch*

...oh, hi VV!

Gerroff me hobnobs Joe!!!! *snatches them back*

You do realise that they're coveted hobnobs don't you!

Sometimes we need 'lows' in our lives just for us to realise just how many 'highs' we have each and every day!



(VV, please do visit my homepage and read my journal entry 'Life is seashells' if you'd like more...)

I'm not with Odo and Icky on this one: I think Pheloxi said it beautifully. It is a pleasure that you are still around.

B

You're stronger than you realise for having said all that let alone got through it! If you ever need to talk though..you know

You lot are going to get me crying in a minute!!!



*sniffs*




*turns around and wipes a tear away*

oh stop it ..

thats more like it

You know sis...things are going to be good over the next 12 months...I can feel it in my waters...



...ooops...I just wee'd myself!

Theres no reason why it shouldnt be good ..You deserve some good karma..