h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

http://www.bbc.co.uk/collective

You having the morning or afternoon off work to get your anus operated on?? I hope the surgery goes well and your 'Hollyoaks' injury is successfully remedied.

If I were a Gladiator I'd be called Moon Shadow '...and if I ev er lose my hands...'

MUSTARD!

Hey mate. Saw you driving the wrong way up my road at 5 last evening; what the f**k's all that about then?

Ready for some funny business at lunch if you want, as there are only three left now.

How was lunch yesterday? Isn't walking the streets of B-Wizza crap on your tod?

The angry scotsman rang me yesterday and made a grovelling apology for his awful manners, so, after long consideration, I have decided to give him his book back so that he can plan his brothers 40th. ahahahahahah

dEaF aNd dUmB!

Will told me to drop in after work last night and didn't bother answering the door when I got there so I went home.

Need to burn things down and do something different this lunchtime, thinking cap on for something utterly ridiculous to go or do!

Lunch yesterday was fine, wouldn't have made it anyways as I had to work until just after 2 because of staff meeting and crying parent I had to deal with, just went out for a chill. Nah.

Why did the Scot apologise anyway? Have you been having a dialogue with him? Send him a dead pigeon instead of his phone book. Ger'wan. Ger'wan ger'wan ger'wan.

China clay!

Roots,

How about Radlett?

Lets get a McFluzza and keep it Hertfordshire County Council!

Gonna send Will to meet the Scot

I'll try to get out early

Toots

post it to him! he might get violent what with me calling him a c**t so many times! can't be f****d to go to Radlett or anything, there's f**k all to do there and its a waste of money and petrol.

pool

I am so plum tuckered out that I think i'm gonna pass out. Absolutely f***ed mate.

Don't want to do any more council work. Gonna start looking in London for cooler job.

Had a good feeling about Journalism or Photojournalism. Want to do some sort of correspondance course or evening classes. Found a rather attractive course at the london school of journalism.

Has will talked to you about his Fanzine/event organisation idea? Sounds a bit half baked, but it might be just what we need to keep our brilliant minds ticking over in all this drudge, so I say give it a go.

See you soon

A129061

that's what I think. you should carry on with HCC whilst searching for a job, it is costly and there is f**k all graduate jobs at the moment unless you go into recruitment, and they are all a bunch of pushy c***s.

A129061

that's what I think. you should carry on with HCC whilst searching for a job, it is costly and there is f**k all graduate jobs at the moment unless you go into recruitment, and they are all a bunch of pushy c***s.

Gooooooooooooood Morining Borehamwoooooooood!

Beetle Bonnet, Try telling Scotsman John Leslie about Beetle Bonnets. I bet he could tell you a thing or two about BEETLE BONNETS!.

Follow this link and scroll down to the second photo. Perhaps the most misguided use of the word 'cool' that I have ever seen.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/2349385.stm

2 days and counting

Rooty Mctooty!

ooh bad boy! getting moderated like some sort of modern day Robin Hood. Did you catch any of This Morning this morning, apparently John Leslie wasn't on it because he is seriously ill. I hope he gets better soon as any namesake of mine has to be a joly good fellow indeed!

overslept today, woke up at 8.45 and didn't start at work until 9.45, so will sadly only gat paid for THE WHOLE DAY, cause I ain't losing no cash, suckers!

Boomtown!

As Dr Dre Says in the superior edited version of Still D.R.E.

'Smoke every day' surely a worse message than the uncut version. Moon

Mr Leslie appears to be a taboo subject today. So I will stay well clear. Morning going very quickly, and luncheon approaches fast. Is Wilbur playing with the big boys tonight? I'll drive if anyone fancies it. cool, yes!

Fancy schmit for lunch today?

We could go to the place where the fields are always GREEN, that suburban elysium where the burgers flow like slabs of dead cow down the necks of people so fat, that all they can do is use Schmakydees coffee to punch-start their sludge festooned brains, so that they can gaze, sweating and blank eyed at the wall, dreaming of a time before some horrible booze-raddled hound used a shiny-shiny to trick them into producing some equally pestilent offspring, and when it was still good; still fresh, and nothing akin to tossing a woodbine in the Albert Hall.

Wimpy it aint!

Greenfields t'is. If you get there first I have reserved a window table under my real name. You know it. OK then Lesley John Gentle. Don't tell everyone though like that idiot Matthew.

Wool!

I'd like to request that the moderators stop moderating my name, I understand the problem but I can't really help it. Should I change it by deed-poll or are you just being a little over-sensitive. I have written nothing libelous, but my parents may have when they named me.

Regards

Yes. I would like to talk about Mr John leslies as much as the next man. I would like to say s**t and f**k, but I can't, simply because of the draconian lunacy that passes for fair censorship under the iron rule of these....these 'moderators'. I ask you, the general public, who is the real villain?


Its Michael Barrymore of course.

Twins!

and Craig Charles too my good friend.

I'd just like to add that the tallest ever presenter of Blue Peter was

John Leslie

I repeat

John Leslie
John Leslie
John Leslie
John Leslie
John Leslie
John Leslie
John Leslie
John Leslie
John Leslie
John Leslie
John Leslie
John Leslie
John Leslie
John Leslie
John Leslie
John Leslie

John Leslie
John Leslie

Sorry to hear that John Leslie is 'seriously ill' today. We wish him a speedy recovery. He used to go out with Catherine Zeta Jones you know

Jamaica?

No, she went of her own volition

Sweets!

Did you know his real name is John Stott. He realised the glamour of the 'Leslie' moniker, although, in my humble opinion the Lesley spelling is far superior.

Interesting fact 1 - John Stott was the junior Scottish high-jump champon but he gave up a lucrative career in jumping over a pole to follow his dream of working with Yvette Fielding. True.

Interesting fact 2 - Whilst studying for a degree in Public Policy at Bristol University, he formed a comedy revue with none other than the Brittas Empire's Chris 'Mr Brittas' Barrie. True.

Any further Stotty facts would be gratefully appreciated!

Old pirates yes they rob I,
Sold I to the merchant ship...

...freedom of speech is a glorious gift...

... these songs of freedom,
Cause all I ever had...

...censorship is the behaviour of small minded fascists...

How long shall they kill our prophets,
While we stand aside and look...

...why am I being repeatedly censored...

Emancipate yourselves from inner-slavery,
None but ourselves can free our minds...

...all because I spoke about...

Redemption song,
Redemption song...

...John Stott. I don't understand your behaviour, I have said nothing untoward, please stop it you petty minded little fascists. Are the words L***** S**** or J*** currently illegal? Why am I censored for informing people that a daytime TV presenter used be a highjumper and a stand-up comedian? This is absolutely f*****g diabolical.

Can you hear the distant chants of 'sieg heil!' coming from Bush House, or is the Director General imposing some sort of denial of the existence of J*** S****?

Barrymore used to be a high diver...........