'I know what I want and I know how to get it' sang Johnny Rotten back in the seventies. Well, lucky old him. If only life were so simple. Many of us spend a good deal of our time floundering around knowing we want something but not being in the position to get it or just plagued by that feeling that something is missing. What is definitely not helpful is other people’s well-meaning advice. This can range from 'Well what is it you want to do' being exhorted to be grateful what you have, or to try getting out and helping someone else less fortunate than yourself. But if still at the back of your mind you doubt your choices think you have made a wrong turn feel unfulfilled or worthless: this stuff is still going to wait until you are not busy and can come to the front of your mind to plague you.
During these periods of my life I have gone towards many things. There is hardly anything I couldn't tell you about evangelical Christianity for example or transactional analysis. And I still watch people being helped by this. But these days it doesn't seem to reach the spot that itches.
Why would it, no child wants to remain in infant school, what made you happy at fifteen would seem pretty dull at thirty.
Bono Vox wrote that he had climbed the highest mountains, scaled city walls held hands with the devil and felt healing fingertips but he still hadn't found what he was looking for. I don't believe for a minute that’s the words of a selfish man, I believe that’s someone who’s dangerously alive.