After writing last week's chapter, it became very clear to me that were these ever found by anyone involved with New Line Cinema, or for that matter Wingnut Films, I might be bloody well stamped on¹. So might it be said that I give absolute and
complete full credit to the people who actually wrote the lines I've borrowed, and I really don't mean any ill will by parodying them. Okay? Now that we've got that squared away, here’s the new chronicle!

James: *He doesn't answer, but strikes a pose and a shock of light pink roses appear behind him. James is enveloped in light blue smoke, but soon reappears in a pair of khaki slacks, a dark blue sweater, and a pair of small horn rim glasses. He is holding a large leather bound book with the title 'Everything You Wanted to Know About Gods But were Afraid to Ask' in his left hand and thumbing through it with interest²*
Jade: Wait a moment… why do you look so much like a librarian…?
James: *he looks irritatedly at Jade over the top of his horn rim glasses* Shut up! This is important! …I just have to find that passage…
Jade: Oh all right… *She drops her hair-towel on the floor crosses her arms impatiently*
James: *James looks down once more at the book, placing his finger on a point in the page and reading out loud* Ah ha! I've found it! '…if a God or Goddess has chosen a mate, and said mate consents in the choosing (That is to say, they love each other,) a bit of the God's grace passes on to them (i.e., said chosen mate). If the mate it taken from the Goddess or God, then their powers and Godly grace will eventually vanish completely, turning the God into nothing more than a lowly mortal.’
Jade: You can't be serious…!
James: *looks at her over the top of his glasses again* Well I am. *He walks over to her and hands her the book, pointing at the proper passage* Look for yourself.
Jade: *reads the passage and looks up at James* What should I do?
James: Well look for him, obviously. And keep an eye on your gauntlet…
Jade: *looks down at her gauntlet* Why should I do that? Why would that matter…?
James: Because, if my theories are correct then… it could mean… *his eyes cast about the room* Floods, famines… rains of fish… *he looks at her* In general, catastrophe…
Jade: What could…? What are you talking
about…?
James: *he sits down on Jade's bed beside her* Jadie, Jessie is a false god.
Jade: What…? But she has a gauntlet…! That… can't be…
James: I assure you it is. *he takes her
right³ hand in his* This is the Gauntlet of Naversbesquinil.
Jade: Yes, I know that. This is why they made me

goddess.
James: No, you have to listen. You don't understand. *He points to a stone in the centre* See this stone…? This is the stone of Naversbesquinil. There is only one. There has only ever been one.
Jade: Then what is it that Jessie has…?
James: *rolls his eyes* She has a replica, purchased from a website.
Jade: How do you know…?
James: Because I placed the order.
Jade: What…? Then that means that…
James: Yes. While you wear this gauntlet, you are the true goddess. Jessie knows that. She will do anything in her power to get it from you.
Jade: …and with Firefly gone, my powers will diminish…
James: *nods* Unfortunately yes. You will be in a weakened state. *looks down at her gauntlet* See, it has begun already. You will not be able to protect yourself, and I fear that it is quite beyond my skill to protect you from Jessie's wrath.
Jade: *she clutches her right hand protectively to her chest* Then I cannot stay here!
James: No! …No you can't.

Oh, this is going to be far too much fun. I can taste the Tolkienosity now coming 'round the corner now… Mmmm… …rather tastes like cornflakes, doesn't it…? Hmm.

Tom Green Chronicles Mark II
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