h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

This story illustrates exactly how dangerous it can be to use electronic (or otherwise automated) items on or near one's privates.

Although it is rather old-fashioned, I'll stick with my CyberSkin dildo, Dick, any day.

Dick is a good boy. He does whatever I want whenever I want him to do it. No one else is capable of commanding Dick. Dick answers only to me.

Dick never needs new batteries, never gets drunk, never complains. Dick doesn't raise my power bill, raise the toilet seat or raise hell. The only negative thing I could possibly say about Dick is that he's too darn big. Hell, nine inches seemed perfectly reasonable when I was in the store, but I suppose my eyes were bigger than my cunny!