h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: Is islam a religion of distruction? - A898293
Author: Muzaakboy - U208494

So is anyone going to say anything laugh?

Adib

Hi Muzaakboy,

As there isn't currently an edited entry on Islam at the moment as far as i can see, there is definitely room for one.

I'm just off to work, so I don't have time to give proper observations on the entry. As I think you are probably new to writing and have obviously put a great deal of effort into this, it might be worthwhile having a quick peek at the Writing-Guidelines to see what is usually required of entries.

My first thought is that your entry would be helped by headings and structure, as it seems on first reading to be quite 'organic' in organisation.

It will be interesting to see what other Researchers have to say on this entry.

Cool thanks any imput will be appreciated.

Adib

Hi Muzaakboy,

Yes, a quick read of the Writing Guidelines would help. One of the guide lines says that articles should be written in the third person. If you can re-word it so that it is in the third person it would be an excellant candidate for the Edited Guide.

A bit of formating with GuideML would work wonders. If you edit the article in the Brunel skin, there are shortcuts to help you with GuideML. It mainly consists of putting and around pargraphs and and around headings.

I like it, mainly because I agree with it.

Mar salaam

Stuart

Ok thanks.
Allah hafiz

Adib

I think its all in 3rd person now.

Adib

Hi Muzaakboy

I few comments to help you get this through PR.

I would take out the paragraph that start Adib is white English guy.... This properly belongs in your personal space where you have already introduced yourself. If any one wishes to know more about the author, that is where they should look. If you wish to acknowledge the help you have had from your friends in preparing the article, it would probably be better in a footnote or a separate acknowledgment paragraph at the end.

In fact I would remove any reference to yourself. In the second paragraph delete “Adib thinks” and just say “which is a beautiful word for a religion” and delete the sentence about keeping it brief. I would also delete the sentence commenting to your friend H. It’s a bit to personal for the Edited Guide.

Towards the end there are still a couple of first person reference just before the quote from T W Arnold.. Re-word the sentences to eliminate the Is.

And finally, There is no need to sign the article with you name. The author is automatically shown when the article is displayed. The sub-editor will remove it anyway.

Best wishes


Stuart

Ok done that.

Thanks
Adib

For a start a entry on this topic would be a great addition to the edited guide so well done!!!

I'm afraid as it stands it's a bit difficult to read if you know nothing about the religon (which I don't ) but I would be intrested to learn.. soo I guess that makes me your target audience!

Secondly have you heard of guide ML have a look at the guide ml clinic here - A187229 because if you could put it in guide ml then you could add headings and footnotes which would make the whole piece easier to read.


Thirdly I'm going to go though it in detail pointing out which bits I think need alterning to make it more accessable.. (feel free to say that you don't want to make these changes.. they are just suggestions)

- if you are using guide ML then I'd put the transalation of As salaam alaikum as a footnote after it. This means that you don't have to have the transilation in the first paragraph.

- then in the introducotory paragraph. "This entry has been created on the purpose" is not really correct grammar, I think with the purpose.
- "not bothering to mention?" In my humble opinion these words are will just put off the causal reader as they make you come across as immature. What about something along the lines of "is overlooked by current sensationalist media coverage"

- Moving onto paragraph two, there's not need for lets start from the top... we are already at the top. The next two sentances would read more easily if they were combined.

- Using the word our in the next sentance impiles either that this is written in first person or that the reader is a muslim, as first person is not allowed and I expect you are aiming this at non muslims then you should remove it.

- There is no need for the sentance "Adib is going to do my best to keep this brief" for a start it doesn't make sense in the current form. It's in first person and there's no need to keep it brief.

- "Know lets take a look at " the correct spelling in this form is "now" and the meaning is impiled from the situation anyway.

- I think it would have more impact if you made the headers to the sections quotes, if you put them in ittalics and in between '' then it would have more impact.

- I would add the location of the quote in the Koran as a footnote, as the majority of the readers are non musilms and not goign to be able to go and look it up.

- the actual quotes need to be in quotation marks and italic.

- I find it difficult to follow if the word ayaat is used instead if verse all the way though, even though you explain it first of all. I have to keep thinking back to what the word means rather than the meaning of what you are writing.

- The non muslims who say that it is a brutish religon may have read the transilators notes and still feel that it is wrong to hit your wife if she has done something wrong or for the husband to have power over her in any case.

- "what a brutish religon" needs to be in quotation marks or you could rework the sentance to say "think that it a brutish religon"

There's still some first person halve way through..

I hope you get the jist of what i mean down, and can apply it to the rest of the piece if you can't then I will post in more detail later.

I can't go through the whole thing at this point becuase i have a lecture in 5 minutes. but I am happy to this evening if you would like me too.

Im a bit stuck on the guide ml thing actually. Maybe its lack of sleep I do not know. Done a few alterations

Adib

I do agree with Z. GuideML would make this entry a lot more accessible.

To convert, the main things are to select GuideML and to use:

at the beginning of a paragraph and at the end to give spaces between the paragraphs.

and make a header out of anything between the words (in this case, the word 'and').

and will give you a subheader.

Give it a try and see how you get on.

You could probably get by with just using these. If you need numbered lists or blockquotes, shout and one of us will take you through using them.

Thanks thats a lot clearer. Im used to c++ only so i was puttint the text in perecasis. ooops thick me.

If I get stuck I will ask thanks.

Adib

What does this mean :Only one top level element is allowed in an XML document. in this code.

Hello,

I am sort of having the same problem as the people above. The Entry just doesn't flow right, a subdivision into chapters would be a good start.

HELL

Agreed, Hell!

Adib,

If you're asking if you can only use one header throughout the entry, the answer is no - you can use several. Otherwise, I'm not clear what you're asking.

All right its sorted.
Adib.
Just got to ...

Adib

Uhrmm for the Guide Ml to actually work then when you go to edit entry you need to click on "guideML" instead of "plain text" and then click on "change format" I think, the button next to it anyway..

I'll have a proper review of it once it's fully in Guide ML.

Yeah I know I had to go some where.
Hence my last message.
Adib

Great I'll go thourgh it in detail this evenign when I've got time, however from a quick skim I noticed that there's one or two instances when I is used.

Is THere I thought I had got rid of them sniff. I will go and double check now as your probabley right.

Adib