All great stories must have an ending.

These, in my experience, are the words of a very stupid person. If you're really good, you can keep the story going for ing ages. Case in point, good ol' Douggie Adams. He didn't stop at three books, even after people were daft enough to call it a trilogy! Also, J.K Rowling. She is the only writer in history to cause children under the age of eight to cart about a seven hundred-page book willingly. Also, the great saga of Mars: The Tom Green Chronicles. Ah, the memories those one dredge up.

... Why are you looking at me like that? You say you don't know of the great Tom Green Chronicles? Well of course you don't. The Tom Green Chronicles were never actually released to the public, because they were the product of very young and sinisterly evil minds. Namely mine and one that belonging to one Firefly. We wrote the Chronicles after one day I decided that (beyond the shadow of a doubt,) Firefly was (and is indeed,) a Martian. (He is, really; I've seen the kid's antennas and everything.)

How did I come to this conclusion? Well, every day at work, he would eat curly fries. And he would drink pink lemonade. And that was all. So I decided that he was a Martian. Only one of alien descent could keep themselves sane after having such a horribly bland diet.

So Firefly thought about this, and one day he sent me an e-mail. It was the first chapter of the Tom Green Chronicles and I loved it (perhaps one day if I feel adventurous [or desperate] enough, I'll post it here as an archival copy, or some such thing.). So of course I sent him a chapter back, and it went on that way for I don't even know how long. By the time we were finished with it we had something like eighty chapters.

Unfortunately the great bulk of those were lost, as his computer crashed, and my laptop ate (yes, ate) the files. But I had a few of them printed, so the chronicles didn't die. (At least not completely.)

But all that said, lately I've though about the chronicles, and I've realised that I really liked the world Firefly and I created. So I decided to start them up again, for my new column in the Post, and share them with you lot. (Yay hurray!)

So, look forward to episode one of Tom Green Chronicles Mark II starting next week!!!

Tom Green Chronicles Mark II Archive

Jedi Jade

28.11.02 Front Page

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