I cannot prove that Twitter/X doesn't use humans to monitor speech on its platform. I can only offer the following exchange.

I replied to X's admonitory email by clicking on the reply box and stating, 'Nigg is a place in northern Scotland, near the Cromarty Firth.' I wanted to back up this statement with this map:

But the box provided didn't allow for images, so I left it to their imagination, if they have any.

I got another reply by email:

Our support team has determined that a violation of our rules did take place, specifically around:

Violating our rules against hateful conduct.

Therefore, we will not overturn our decision to limit your post's visibility.

Thanks,

X

Now, as it happens, I am less inclined to be upset by communications like this than other people perhaps might be. One reason for this is that once upon a time, I had a job with an international gaming company that included answering user complaints along the line of, 'He called me a n00b!' Another is that I have been dealing with h2g2's rogue filther for nigh-on 20 years now, and if Mrs Grundy's electronic cousin hasn't broken my brains yet, I doubt anything the ex-bird can come up with will.

But seriously, as they say.

As the h2g2 filther is more concerned with the impropriety of discussing winter headwear and long-haired snowcats than either Scottish roundabouts (one possible source of offence) or Paigetheoracle's mental state – his choice ('did you call me evil?'), I fell that we can safely bring you the whole email exchange. It's a deep-dive discussion of great philosophical merit, akin to a new Platonic symposium. It is hereby offered to you as an end-of-year treat.

May your mental development in the coming year be blessed with insight and intellectual satisfaction. And may you never run afoul of X and its politically correct robots.

What Is It About the Nigg Roundabout?

Email exchange with Paigetheoracle:

First Email: Subject: Nigg roundabout x3.

Blank.

One hour later, my reply: There is nothing in this email. It is empty. It is a vacant email. 'This space for rent.'

Two hours later, Paige, replying (as if this made perfect sense): It was meant to be sent to me, to remind me to contact you about a trio of events at this place.

There are three roads meeting at this roundabout. A few months ago I noticed a crashed car, overturned on the Inverness Road section of the A9. Then I noticed a damaged crash barrier on the Tain stretch of the A9. Now today, I saw a lamppost, obviously hit and damaged by a car running into it, on the Nigg road section. Bingo!

Three hours later (I was busy), my reply after reading that: And when you say 'this' roundabout, you mean 'the one in my head, that I'm not going to show you a
photo of but expect you to just visualise based on your extensive knowledge of UK roundabouts...'

I have seen two roundabouts in my lifetime. They were very small. One was installed by some nincompoop on a back street in my dad's neighbourhood in North Carolina, and one in my neighbourhood in Raleigh-Durham, NC. Neither was at all a good idea: Americans don't know what to do with them, and a traffic light would've made far more sense. (Four-way intersection in both cases.) By the way, in the US, the roundabouts go backwards. I believe this is due to the East-West Coriolus Effect.

So you have concluded that there was an accident on the A9? Did the car hit the lamppost, bounce off, run into the crash barrier, bounce off THAT, and then overturn?

Paige: As I may have said (no, you didn't)¹, roundabouts were created in France where they drive on the right but adapted by the English, who drive on the left. Americans drive on the right do they not, so to have them is as crazy as the French who invented the idea as it only works if you drive on the left.

As for the road being bad, the A9 is notorious for crashes and with the idiot idea of the North Coast 500, turning it into a racetrack like the le Man's 24, it is even worse.

By the way, I missed the car ploughing across the centre of the roundabout because the car brakes had failed or the idiot was going too fast (roundabouts were supposed to slow down traffic, making motoring more safe but they forgot about the belligerent Scots, who don't like to be told what to do, especially by the English).

Unfortunately, this is the main artery of the Highlands for those going north or south, so is hard to avoid.

Roundabouts were introduced to make the roads safer than intersections. So do you have accident black spots at them some places, like our roundabouts or are they safer in reality (speeders shooting through, ignoring the lights)?

DG: I don't see why driving on the left would make roundabouts more useful: clockwise is better than counter-clockwise? Or are they only useful if you know the right incantation to use as you make the circle? Theoretically, we should be
able to summon demons, as we are going widdershins. That would definitely make roundabouts more interesting, but then the local churches would probably want to put up Bible verse billboards.

The only reason I knew about roundabouts back in the 80s was the Bundeswehr. My German military students used to go on holiday in England. One of them recounted a hair-raising adventure when he drove into a roundabout - going in the wrong direction. He said the cop was really nice about it.

Most of the time, traffic lights work pretty well here. People tend to petition for a traffic light if an intersection without one gets too many accidents. People 'running redlights' can occur - usually when the driver is impaired (=drunk, drugged, having a cerebral event, etc).

Paige: Well if you are driving on the left, you go clockwise round a roundabout, not anticlockwise but I'll let you off with a caution this time, next time it will be an on the spot fine. But the roundabout did nothing! It's an innocent victim in all this. It was just standing there when it was attacked by all these cars. And what are the police doing about this? Nothing as usual.

Editorial conclusion: I personally find the h2g2 Post email stimulating and conducive to staving off senility on the part of an ageing editor. However, some days I feel the contents of my inbox may drive me to the funny farm.

I probably couldn't say all that on Twitter/X. Apparently, they're very sensitive over there and react strongly to the slightest criticism of anyone at all. They are also quite fond of the Roman Empire.

Dmitri Gheorgheni

30.12.24 Front Page

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