Run Through

One of the most popular hobbies in the UK is parkrun, an international organisation that provides free, weekly timed 5K (3 mile) runs on Saturdays worldwide. According to their website there are 1,266 parkruns in 22 different countries, and over 800 different ones within the UK alone. With it being so popular and with several different runs available, there are many different challenges that exist to encourage runners to do different parkruns. One of the more popular challenges is to do a parkrun beginning with every letter of the alphabet¹ and the number of people I know who have done this is easily in the double-figures. I myself had completed a parkrun beginning with every letter of the alphabet except Z, as there are no Z parkruns in the UK. The nearest Z to the UK is in the Netherlands - Zuiderpark, just south of the Hague.

Every week hundreds of British tourists flock to the Hague in order to complete the Zuiderpark parkrun and thus complete their alphabets. When a group of friends said they intended to do the same I eagerly agreed to go too, however it soon became apparent that there was not going to be a day that suited everyone, and the least-worst day was Saturday 29th June - a day on which I was free, but I had booked Tankfest tickets for the following day so would have to dash home after the run.

Fly me to the Netherlands

Let me run round Zuiderpark

Let me complete my alphabet

And be back before it's dark.

In other words, it'll be fun.

In other words, I love parkrun.

Getting to the Netherlands couldn't have been easier on the Friday evening. There was a flight from Southampton Airport at a convenient time after work, and as the airport is quite small, getting through all the checks takes virtually no time. I had only a backpack and the clothes I was wearing with me, as I planned to fly to the Netherlands on Friday evening and be back Saturday afternoon. The flight itself was about 55 minutes, 30 minutes of which was flying from Southampton to the Netherlands, followed by 25 minutes of the aeroplane taxiing around Amsterdam's Schiphol airport. From the airport it was easy to descend to the train station underground, and take a connecting double-decker train to Hague Central, where I experienced travelling upstairs on a train for the very first time.

The hotel in the Hague was a short walk from the train station and next to a tram stop, which is how we planned to get to Zuiderpark the following morning. Of course, the Netherlands being the Netherlands, every conceivable flat, exterior surface essentially doubles as a cycle lane, so there were always bikes coming from all directions all along the way. On checking in to the hotel I was surprised to be told that although I'd booked and paid ahead, I now had to pay a vague Hague tax. Apparently you only pay the vague Hague tax when you're in the Hague, and as I booked when I wasn't in the Hague I couldn't pay it then, but now that I was in the Hague I had to pay the tax. Realising that the Hague is one of the world's foremost bureaucratic capitals, I rendered unto Cæsar that which is Cæsar's and paid the €12 charge; if it is spent on the Netherlands' world-beating public transport, it's frankly a bargain.

We were then told that there was a parade in the city centre the following day, meaning that all buses and trams in the city centre were cancelled, which of course was unwelcome news considering we had planned to travel that way by using a tram. However we found that buses were running from a stop about 10-15 minutes' walk from the hotel, so after a good night's sleep we met downstairs at the hotel and walked to the bus stop, where we easily caught one of the constantly frequent single-decked buses to Zuiderpark.

Parklife

Zuiderpark is a beautiful, flat park in the Hague with deer, rabbits, geese, herons, ducks and a rose garden, as well as a sport centre. The parkrun course is two circular laps of the park, each 2.5k long. When I went well over three quarters of attendees were British tourists who had gone to Zuiderpark to get their Z, and that seemed a common occurrence that the local volunteer team were used to. When they did the 'First Timers and English Briefing' virtually everyone followed. At the briefing they mentioned that the parade would be about 1pm and would include a flypast.

After parkrun we headed back to the bus stop, which like the trains uses a simple contactless tap on, tap off². We stopped off in a square for a spot of brunch. Sadly I still haven't found anywhere in the Netherlands where they make a decent cup of tea - that isn't to say that there aren't any, I've been in less than half a dozen different cafes in the country so presumably there are tens or hundreds of thousands I've not been to yet. The Netherlands is the nation that has perfected the transport balance with their provision for cycling and public transport, the towns and cities contain many picturesque marvels, many of the world's greatest artists are Dutch and the country as a whole would be so close to paradise - if only I could get a decent cup of tea.

After brunch we returned to the hotel to see that while we were out they had put fences up in front of the hotel, presumably in preparation for the parade. As I had about 20 minutes before checkout time I agreed to meet my colleagues in the lobby in an hour and 20 minutes, dashed to my room to get showered and changed and checked out, only to be told I'd paid too much vague Hague tax and needed half of it back as a vague Hague tax rebate. Rendering back from Cæsar that which wasn't really Cæsar's after all? I went for a wander and saw the outside of the Mauritshuis, which houses the Girl with the Pearl Earring, as well as where the Escher Museum is - but sadly as I had a flight to catch there wouldn't be time to visit, even without all the fences being put up everywhere.

I returned back to go to the hotel, only to discover that more fences had been erected in my absence and I wouldn't be able to make it to the hotel to say goodbye to my friends after all. I had originally planned on leaving the hotel at 1pm and make a leisurely stroll to the station, but as I knew the way and it wasn't that far, I thought I could get away with watching the parade and flypast for ten minutes and then walking quickly back to the station.

Don't Train on my Parade

The Veterans' Day parade began with brass bands and the flypast, which from where I was stood in the middle of a road involved gurt loud noisy aircraft blurrily flying low overhead in a blink-and-you've-missed-them sort of way. With it being a sunny day, it was too bright to see what the aircraft actually were, but they definitely were loud, differing shapes and sizes and clearly capable of flight as there was no doubt in anyone's mind that they were overhead. Even though as I was stood on a narrow road and so thin band of sky available to be seen, by the time we had heard them above the oom-pah, they had gone.

There were a wide variety of Second World War military vehicles, which have the advantage of travelling slowly enough that it is easy to see them and realise what they are, as well as the Netherlands' Invictus Games team (I bet they win the cycling). As well as veterans of various wars, campaigns and operations, and different units marching by. Including many in commando-style facepaints, which surprised me as I didn't think it would be considered acceptable in the 21st Century for soldiers to march through city centres apparently in blackface. For camouflage or commando combat, certainly, but not really formal Dress Uniform polished-brass-and-buttons situations.

It's Margarita Time

The outgoing Dutch Prime Minister Mark Rutte walked by, accompanied by Princess Margarita. I must say I was surprised by the loud, enthusiastic cheering, especially considering Mark Rutte lost the 2023 General Election, and is due to become NATO's Secretary General. If any of the last three former British Prime Ministers walked by on a London street, they wouldn't be applauded or cheered, so the Dutch public were incredibly polite in comparison. So Polite in fact that particularly polite individuals could be seen in uniforms with 'Politie' written on the back, with some even driving around in Politie cars - which presumably give way at roundabouts and never suffer from road rage.

How Did The Chicken Cross the Road?

After spending ten minutes watching the parade I felt that the time had come to walk quickly back to the station and catch my train to Amsterdam, as my flight was after 4pm and it was now 1:10pm. So I walked briskly towards the station, only to discover when I arrived about 1:30pm that the parade route bent back by the station, and I was on the opposite side of the road to where the station was, and the road was well and truly fenced off, with the parade blocking the way. The trouble with parades involving politicians, prime ministers, princesses and thousands of heavily-armed soldiers is, if anyone tries to jump the fence and go where they're not supposed to, there's a good chance the soldiers will shoot first and wonder whether the person was just trying to get to the station later.

There were a couple of Politie people about, though, so I asked one how to get to the station, and he replied that the road would reopen after the parade, and when I asked when that would be, he just shrugged. Not a reassuring answer. So I asked another Politie person, who said, 'There is a garage. Follow down that way, left, right, left, there is a garage.' Wondering whether 'Garage' meant subway or underpass, I followed the path of the parade in the direction he was pointing round several bends, getting further and further away from the station in a city I'd never been to before.

Eventually I found what I had been looking for - there was indeed an underground carpark which had entrances on both sides of the road, which scores of people were spilling out of and rushing into as the way to cross to the other side of the parade. Unfortunately there was a gurt big tank parked right on top of the tunnel. Now I'm fond of 80-ton self-propelled heavily-beweaponed, gurt big military vehicles as much as anyone, but I don't really like the idea of them above my head. So I impatiently waited a few minutes more for the monstrous machine to move forward, away from the tunnel, before dashing down, across the carpark and out the other side, and then with the help of Strava I found my way back to Den Haag Centraal, arriving after 2pm but just in time to sit upstairs on a double-decker train back to Amsterdam Schiphol, and I made it to the airport in good time, especially as I only had a backpack with me.

Bluebottle

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