Chapter 29: Divience

A team of scientists collected from several universities arrived early the next day, bringing a truckload of equipment. After installing all this in the back yard, together with some rental generators to power it all, they started investigating the grail, helped by Eddy to move it around.

Mom had stayed in bed with a headache, while Dad tried to do some futile damage control on his lawn, before trying to start up a conversation with his fellow scientists.

Just after lunch, the lead scientist came inside to share her preliminary conclusions. She seemed excited.

'This is a so far unknown crystalline form of hydrogen. The problem is that it is way too dense. Think of something like carbon to the power diamond and then some more zeroes. It defies the current laws of physics as we know them. It should be a black hole… Or a star. If we could somehow find a way to release some of it back into the gas phase, it would probably solve our energy requirements for the next 350 gazillion years, give or take a few centuries.'

'That's nice.' Dad agreed.

'Not just 'nice'. If we play this right, I see several Nobel Prizes coming up, maybe even a clean sweep of Physics, Chemistry, Physiology/Medical, Peace and Literature.'

This led to a round of applause from her minions, who were peering in through the open door.

'Not sure about the literature one.' Dad said with a frown. 'Are you proposing to write your paper in rhyme?'

'Could be, could be… Are you any good at that? Otherwise we'll let that one slip…'

'We do need some sort of explanation for the deviation from the laws of physics though… Divine intervention usually doesn't get past the peer review stage that well…'

'BUT IT IS!!!!'

Came a booming voice from out of everywhere, that rattled the windows.

'HANG ON, I'LL TURN THE VOLUME DOWN A NOTCH!!!!'

'THAT'S BETTER, DON'T YOU THINK?'

Only Ava and Eddy were still standing upright in the ringing silence that followed. The garden shed chose that moment to slowly collapse like a wobbly pudding, causing a nice crescendo of garden tools.

'Much better.' said Ava. 'What shall we call you?'

'DO YOU KNOW YOU'RE THE FIRST ONE EVER TO ASK THAT QUESTION? THEY USUALLY THINK UP SOMETHING BY THEMSELVES AND THEN START WAGING WARS ON ANYONE WHO CAME UP WITH A DIFFERENT NAME. IT'S SO PATHETIC. JUST LIKE THE WHOLE GENDER PROJECTION THING.'

'Do you mind if I add you under the Et Al section of the report?' the lead scientist pleaded. 'That way I can send the peer reviewers through to you.'

'I WOULD BE HONOURED. CAN I ADD A QUOTE TOO?'

'What did you have in mind?'

'HOW ABOUT 'BE NICE'? ONE 800 POINT SIZE LETTER ON EACH PAGE, TO GET THE IMPACT RIGHT. MAYBE SOME TINY DISCLAIMER ON THE PAGE WITH THE SPACE LIKE 'This page is intentionally left blank' FOR GOOD MEASURE?'

'I think that can be arranged.' The lead scientist said. 'Can't guarantee people will follow it, but I guess it's worth a try…'

'I'm wondering.' said Eddy 'Can you tell us what the red lamb imagery on the grail egg is all about?'

'OH, THAT'S JUST THE LOGO OF THE COMPANY WHERE I ORDERED THOSE GRAILS. NOW IF YOU DON'T MIND I'LL GO BACK TO STIRRING THE SOUP. YOU DIDN'T THINK THESE OCEAN CURRENTS HAPPEN ALL BY THEMSELVES, DO YOU? THE TRICK IS TO STIR AROUND THE WHALES.'

Once the silence had returned and no more divine messages appeared to be forthcoming, Ava turned to the lead scientist for some more information about the practical application and benefits of owning the Grail.

'Preliminary tests we just did show that submerging the Grail in water enables the release of vast quantities of Hydrogen in gas phase. We suspect this hydrogen is released from the water, not the Grail itself. If you agree we would like to set up Grail Industries Ltd. to supply the world with all the hydrogen gas it needs.'

'Are there any drawbacks?' Eddy asked.

'We are still unable to find out what happens to the excess Oxygen. It somehow appears to be absorbed by the Grail as the water is used up. We run the risk that after those gazillion years we reach an explosive mixture at some point. The statistics guy says there is a 1.3% chance of blowing up the entire Milky Way if that happens (then I lost him when he started about confidence boundaries). An alternative hypothesis is that a parallel Oxygen-based Grail will be formed.'

Ava and Eddy huddled together with their Dad to discuss the opportunities and the potential risks before reaching an agreement.

'OK, as the owners of the Grail, we agree to participate in this endeavour. We do have certain conditions though. We made a list. You'd better check it, twice.'

Caiman Raptor Elk

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