Chapter 15: Evidence

The next stage of the court proceedings was announced with the word 'EVIDENCE' bouncing back and forth across all screens. This was accompanied by some light Jazz music.

The focus was then drawn to the screen connected to the microscope.

Still red from the Medusa"s taunting, Baer was about to start his evidence statements. Before he could start though, Ava interrupted, asking how long this thing was actually going to take, because it was starting to get past even her bed time, let alone the bed time for Eddy.

The Duck ascertained that this had been taken into account and that transport and accommodation had been arranged to satisfy the needs of primary school humans, so Ava left it at that.

Having worked up his anger to the next level, Baer could finally unleash his grievings…

'As an opening remark, I would have liked to ask you what piece of crap you guys evolved from, but since we were there, we have a pretty good idea. In hindsight, we should have stopped you there and then.'

'But you weren"t the first either, and still you claim superiority based on seniority' Elyizaahhrg interjected. 'Would you accept their superiority based on seniority?'

'OK, there may have been lifeforms on this planet before us, but we ate most of those dumb rock sucking microbes for lunch, so that doesn"t matter anymore. Our quarrel is with humanity specifically because they are targeting our species. You claim to be so well adapted, to be able to inhabit any place on this planet. Please wake up. We live in places where you have barely been able to come and visit. From the bottom of the oceans to the highest summits, from pole to pole and in the furnaces of the desert. We are there and have been longer than your pathetic existence. What gives you the right to abuse us for your personal gain? Why don"t you create your own intrinsically disordered, cytoplasmic, secreted or mitochondrial-abundant, heat-soluble proteins instead of stealing them from our mangled bodies? My brother-in-lore Blod is still waiting on the dark side of the moon after some of you morons dropped him there as an 'experiment'! When are you planning to get him back to Earth?'

'Now that, your honour, is why we claim dominance over this planet.'

'That remains to be seen,' said the Right Honourable judge.

Ava"s jaw had dropped so far she was in serious danger of losing it altogether.
Eddy broke the ringing silence with an enthusiastic 'Cytoplasmic disorder on the MOON, ahoy!'

'This is not all,' Baer continued. 'We strongly disagree with your creation of our likeness in the form of pieces of furniture. Yes, we are talking about those grotesque abominations you call 'Chesterfield sofas'. It hurts our feelings to see you sit on them. It especially hurts those of us who actually live in them.'

'Enough!' said the Duck. 'This does not relate to the case at hand. Any comments so far?'

Elyizaahhrg confirmed that she did have some questions.

'Since you are apparently able to communicate with humanity, why didn"t you tell them to stop long ago?'

'We have strict protocols regarding interference with less developed species. We therefore prefer to work through the authorities.'

'You are a space-faring species yourself. Why didn"t YOU pick up your brother-in-lore from the moon?'

'The shuttle ran out of boosteranium leptons and nobody is willing or able to sell us some.'

'Will you tell humanity how to synthesise those proteins?'

'Can"t do that. The interference protocol again, I"m afraid'

'How about you synthesise it and give it to them then?'

'We could do that, although I"m not sure the world is ready for nearly indestructible immortal humans though. That is up to the jury, I guess (We definitely don"t want to be responsible for anything like that!).'

'Supposing we start small and experimental with these two humans?'

'You what?!' said Ava in disbelief, looking from Baer to Elyizaahhrg and back.

'And maybe we can settle the Chesterfield sofa issue with some kind of tax compensation?' Baer continued.

Fully awake again, Ava tried to figure out how things could have gone this way so quickly, so she asked for a private talk to their private investigator.

'Request granted.' Said the Duck, and all screens except the one with the spirit turned blank.

'Right!' said Ava. 'Please explain to me what just happened...?'

Caiman Raptor Elk

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