It's always the beginnings I find most difficult. My beginning, or the closest I can get to a beginning, was a text message. I had gone to pick up my wife from an appointment and as I stood outside¹, my phone beeped to tell me that I, or someone I care for, was in the at risk group and henceforth needed to stay indoors for next 12 weeks. I'm not really sure if the word henceforth is really necessary in that last sentence, but it's a shame not to use it. It was a long text giving me details of the extent to which my wife needed to be kept separate to be kept safe. As I read it, I could feel my stomach tightening.

I wonder if you're reading this in the future where covid 19 is just one of those things that happened to a different generation, like rationing or perms. Maybe perms are back, who knows? But for the United Kingdom (is that still a thing?) March 23rd 2020 was roughly the day when the country joined the coronacoaster and we all had to go home and stay there. Food shopping, exercise, medicine and essential work are the only legitimate reasons to leave the house. Oh, and caring.

Lockdown has, of course, thrown up a variety of challenges. Some people are isolated away from loved ones, and presumably in some cases are unsure as to the wellbeing of loved ones. Some people are stuck indoors with people they are desperate to escape from. I can't imagine that nightmare and I can only hope that the right support is in place for those people. My caring responsibility is the only thing I can talk about from personal experience. For me the advantages and the disadvantage are the same thing: that I live with the person I care for. This means that I don't have to go outside to do any caring and I don't have to worry that the person I am caring for us ok when I am not there, acutely aware that the usual additional support they get is suddenly unavailable. The problem is that my wife is supposed to be shielding herself. What this means is that unlike everybody else she has to stay indoors all the time. She is advised to keep a safe distance from me, to sleep separately and to take a plethora of other precautions. I thought that last bit got rather dry so I dropped the word plethora in for a bit of flavour. I hope it helped.
So where we are now is that the only person I am allowed anywhere near is the person I would chose above everyone else but also the person I am not allowed within six feet of. Writing it down makes it sound like a punishment from the gods in a Greek tragedy. It's not the end of this whole story. Endings are another thing I find hard. But it will do until I find another beginning.

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