h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: The John Gardner James Bond Novels - A87953854
Author: Bluebottle - U43530

Accidentally removed from Peer Review by on keyboard.

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I read the introductory sections and the conclusion two weeks ago F22161373?thread=8323762

Now I shall read the descriptions of the first seven books:

"the 1967 James Bond spoof Casino Royale." - I presume that is the film, not the book.

"is now believed to be led by Blofeld's illegitimate child. But who is the new head of SPECTRE? Bismaquer, or his sinister right-hand man, the skeletal Walter Luxor? " - does this mean Blofeld's illegitimate child is replaced as the head of SPECTRE by one of the other two?

"He provides this service to anyone able to afford his prices. Bond apparently quits the service" - two different 'service's?

I've tweaked the sentences identified, including the one about Blofeld's illegitimate child to make it clearer that Bond is unsure who it is, whether Bismaquer or Luxor.

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Sorry I still don't get the bit about SPECTRE - it is led by the unidentified illegitimate child who is either Bismaquer or Luxor, is that it?

Now reading the descriptions of 8-14:

"film spin-off Batman (1966)" - "film Batman (1966)" (it's not a spin-off from James Bond products! )

"Film 16: Licence to Kill (1989)" - "Film Novelisation: Licence to Kill (1989)"?

" In the novel Live and Let Die, Felix Leiter had been eaten by a shark in a sequence that had not appeared in that film but was featuring in this film for the first time." - lots going on in this sentence... Something like: "In the novel Live and Let Die (date), Felix Leiter had been eaten by a shark. In the film of the same name (date), the scene had not appeared, but it was included in the film Licence to Kill (date) instead. "?

"he is about to be raided " - does this mean Bond tries to trick Maxwell Tarn into giving him incriminating evidence by warning him of a (?nonexistent) raid on the cruise ship?

"Film 17: GoldenEye (1995)" - "Film Novelisation: GoldenEye (1995)"?

"one sequence that Gardner adds to the book made it into the GoldenEye 007 computer game." - What was the sequence?

" referring to events at the end of SeaFire but making it apparent this book is set before the events of COLD, yet during COLD M is still a man and only at the very end of the novel is he replaced with a woman, which would set COLD before GoldenEye." - we don't know what COLD is yet because it was published after the novelisation of GoldenEye.

So it was Gardner's choice to use a different timeline for his last novel? COLD is set in two timelines, so they splice together?

"'I tend to get a bit angry whenever people mock EuroDisney'"

I've made the changes as requested.

SPOILER
SPECTRE is led by the unidentified illegitimate child who readers are misled into believing is either Bismaquer or Luxor.

Although both 'COLD' and 'GoldenEye' have sequences set in different timelines, they can't be reconciled. In 'GoldenEye' the new M is a woman and Freddie/Flicka is alive, though paralysed, having been paralysed the last time Bond was in Puerto Rico.
In 'COLD' Freddie/Flicka dies (she reminded Bond ) but M is still a man, and at the very end Bond drives off into the sunset to meet the newly-appointed female M.

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Ah - well updated thank you

Sorry, that should have said 'she reminded Bond of Tracy'.

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Good work, well done

This entry is entertaining and funny. But you've got to motivate the reader, because it is dauntingly long. I almost gave up. I have a suggestion: add these sentences to the end of the first paragraph to let them know good stuff is coming:

'Gardner's novels, though action-packed, differ from Fleming's classic approach to the subject in significant ways. A trip through the Gardner oeuvre shows the iconic master spy in a new, often perplexing light.'

Or similar. (Reword to taste.)

>>dealing with huis alcohol addiction.<<

I'm assuming that's 'his' alcohol addiction?

>>and the first Pierce Brosnan3.<<

How many Pierce Brosnans are there? Do you mean the first Bond film with Pierce Brosnan? Please say this.

>>The Saab 900 is noted for being one of the ugliest cars of the 1980s as it resembles a cross between an iron conservatory and a clog.<<

Did you make up this phraseology, or is it from the books? If it's from the books, it really needs quotation marks around the quoted parts.

Could you not refer to Diana Rigg as 'incomparable'? I may not be the only reader who is put off by that.

>>George Bush, US President (the one without the W).<<

The first George Bush is referred to by historians as 'George HW Bush'. He has a 'W', too. (Stands for 'Herbert Walker').

>>This novel contains excruciating scenes in which Bond and Maggie are close friends. <<

This makes no sense to a casual reader, particularly one who isn't British. While I appreciated the snark after reading the next sentence, could you say something like:

'The novel contains scenes which Bond appears to be close friends with Prime Minister Thatcher. This may make some readers uncomfortable.'

Or similar?

>>His next target? The assassination of Princess Diana and her sons William and Harry in EuroDisney, Paris.<<

'His next target' should be a person. How about saying,

'His next goal? The assassination...'

I like the paragraph about EuroDisney. That's class-A snark, that is.

>> in which Bond helps Natalya escapes from Russia <<

'in which Bond helps Natalya escape from Russia'

>>though the British Secret Service's agent in Israel, 'Fanny Farmer', is a close second.<<

There's nothing wrong with that sentence. I was just amused because that's not a sexual innuendo in the US - instead, we would expect her to be writing a cookbook. Fanny Farmer cookbooks were epoch-making here - she invented the 'level tablespoon'. The original lady spelled her name 'Fannie' and looked like this:

http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Fannie-Farmer-circa-1900-BPL.jpg

If James Bond had associates who looked like Ms Farmer, I would actually watch the movies.

>>John Gardner's James Bond novels aren't taxing or challenging and are not to be taken seriously.<<

Might I suggest you are seriously missing a golden opportunity here?

'John Gardner's James Bond novels aren't taxing or challenging, and are not to be taken seriously in the way Ian Fleming obviously intended.'

Just saying.

Did you know that if you do a <./>RF1?skip=0&show=250</.> and copy it into an Excel spreadsheet, if a clicks on a cel with a 'remove' link, your entry gets instantly removed?

Inexplicably, John Gardner liked the Saab 900 so the phrase comparing it to a conservatory/clog was my words. 'Cos that is what it looks like.

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Maybe say something to that effect, such as 'the author seemed to admire this automobile, which to some observers looks like, etc'?

Just because it could be confusing to a casual reader, who doesn't know the books or the car? You can get the joke in, but it helps to appreciate if we can tell where it's coming from.

I tweaked that sentence so I hope it meets with your approval.

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Yeah, that's much better!

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