h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Crossing Main Street, Jim was amused with the changes in sounds, even if it was only from the ranting of the guy on the steps of the church to the more subtle fizz and pop of the huge machine, as usual totally ignoring the Laws of Physics.

Continuing up the sidewalk, Jim puzzled for the thousandth time over the motivations of the ranting guy who had a voice that should've been dressed in a white suit and welcoming people to Fantasy Island, instead of spitting at him from the gates of Hell, etc, etc.. Who in the world thought that voice suited a Klingon Warlord?

It amused him, also for the thousandth time, to see the golden arches of McDonald's evaporate in a green blaze, as the Bird of Prey decloaked and began killing anything in sight.

Jim waved cheerily to the Away Crew running across the playground and pulled out his phaser.

feeling groovy!

Too much?

I have sent you some cobblestones spockily enough!

Yes, I saw that rainy night. , is all I can say.

And...going down the street the other way, slowly...to see the cars'n'bikes...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KwXEKWIm9fE

That very last bike is the one I pictured parked up in an old newspaper photo...this is getting freaky my friend!

How about that? It's amazing how many cars and bikes show up for this every year.

Is the guy in the lead in shot wearing a VR headset? Bet he owns that grey three wheeled monstrosity

I dunno. Those two big ones near the end made Elektra laugh.

Crossing Main Street, Jim was narrowly missed by the electric Post Office van.
Continuing up the sidewalk, the van catapulted a ranting man into the church before careening into the community fountain, creating a mighty splash and flying debris , then catching fire and exploding.

It amused Jim, for the thousandth time, to see that electric fires burn differently from say, gasoline fires, and he wondered if there should be a law regulating the minimum sound made by electric vehicles, to warn pedestrians.

Meanwhile, the golden arches of McDonald's beckoned him to get a stress relief burger and fries, but Jim thought better of it and, after things stopped dropping out of the air, continued to wade through the flooded, debris-strewn street.

Jim waved cheerily to the Post Office personnel running across the street towards the carnage.

After making way for the screaming fire truck, Jim posted his application form for a life insurance, pondering the luck he had, considering the van could have crashed on the way back, with this form in it, never to arrive.

Parodies. Did I say anything about parodies?

OK, maybe we overdid the action a bit...

Somebody in the know should write a column on overdoing the action one day....

Alternatively, we could ponder over the motivation and mental state of Jim during his walks down the road.

The last Jim is a bit preoccupied with posting his application for life insurance. His reactions are either somewhat autistic, or just his way to cope with a traumatic experience. Empathy is not available, that's for sure, or we would have had more thoughts on the fate of the ranting man and the occupants of the exploded Post Office van (unless it was an autopiloted van of course).

Lord help DG in November! Hooterville Headaches at the ready...

I remember Hooverville was mentioned, but I can imagine someone "improved" the signpost already.

Oh, yes: you will see the improved Hooverville on next week's Editorial Page.

Now you're getting the feel of it, FWR.