We bring you this story after Christmas for a reason. We don't want to give anybody nightmares other than the author.

'Okay Shaughnessy¹, what have you got for me?'

'The guy over by the fireplace claims the deceased came down the chimney during the night. He caught him red handed, pulled a gun on the victim and asked him what the hell he was doing in his house? At this the fat guy just laughed at him.'

'Laughed?'

'Yeh, he went ho-ho-ho apparently and held his belly.'

'Then what?'

Well, lieutenant, this so incensed the householder that he shot him.'

'What do you make of it?'

'Come over here' They walked over to the other side of fireplace from that of the shooter.'

'Look up the chimney.'

'What are you saying?'

'A fat guy of that girth could not have gotten down a gap that small – it's too narrow. Also, where is the soot on his clothing, even if that was possible?'

'I agree.'

'Next, look at his clothing. Who in their right mind is going to break into a house dressed in bright red clothing? Then there is the bag.'

'What of it?'

'Look, it is full of kids' toys, yet this guy claims he's a burglar. Something very strange is going on here, Joe.'

'I agree. Not a crime of passion – guy is too old and fat. Revenge? Someone from his past?'

'Hey, lieutenant!' A uniformed officer came through the front door and called out. 'We found this funny little guy out the back, dressed in green and red clothing. Claims to know the victim. There's also a sleigh with reindeer out the back too. He called the old man father, so I assume he's his son. Seems they were out delivering presents to kids in the neighbourhood.'

'Curiouser and curiouser' said the lieutenant. 'I reckon you've got a cold-blooded killer on your hands, Kowalski. Strange kind of homicide, and on Christmas Eve, too. Obviously someone who hates children and had a grudge against the fat man. I leave it in your capable hands. I've got to get my kids' presents wrapped and under the tree by midnight or my wife will kill me!

'Goodnight, Lou.'

'Goodnight, lieutenant.'

Paigetheoracle

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