A Conversation for The Venus Novels by Edgar Rice Burroughs

Peer Review: A87915603 - The Venus Novels by Edgar Rice Burroughs

Post 1


Entry: The Venus Novels by Edgar Rice Burroughs - A87915603
Author: Bluebottle - U43530

One out, one in and the smiley - moon has gone.


A87915603 - The Venus Novels by Edgar Rice Burroughs

Post 2

SashaQ - happysad

smiley - ok

Good linkage of information and social commentary in this Entry.

A few questions I had on first readthrough:

"Looked down on by literary circles, one of Burroughs' key achievements was to encourage many who would not otherwise had read to read regularly, albeit cheap pulp magazines."

I think there's a lot going on in this sentence and you could perhaps unpack it a bit more - the magazines are mentioned in a footnote, so it isn't necessarily clear how this sentence follows from the first sentence...

In the first paragraph in the Venus section, the mention of the sun's effects needs tweaking.

"These ray guns are called R-Ray guns and conveniently never need to be reloaded, with their cannon-sized equivalent called T-rays."

I think this needs to be split into two sentences.

Interesting mathematical cartography! smiley - laugh

"Pirates of Venus begins inauspiciously, with references to many of Edgar Rice Burroughs other novels."


Pirates of Venus reads as though you wrote it before you wrote the introductory paragraphs so it repeats a lot of the details - maybe your introduction could be trimmed accordingly, or vice versa

People experimented on by Skor - are they Dead or Undead?

Havatoo is split into five but Ero is in the Warrior and Biologist groups?

Interesting about the amoeba-people - does Burroughs use the word 'neuter' and the pronoun 'it'?

"If this is intended to be satire, it is very well hidden"

Yes, that is very troubling - very strange that the Zanis should be criticised and yet Carson's conclusion is horrifyingly similar...

A87915603 - The Venus Novels by Edgar Rice Burroughs

Post 3


Thanks for the read-through, I've made some changes and can confirm that the entry is shorter than before. I divided the sentence in the introduction into two. I've rearranged the sun on Venus bit and made the Undead Dead for consistency. I can also confirm that Burroughs does indeed use 'it' and call the Vooyorgans 'amoebic neuters'.smiley - erm
I've added a footnote on Ero Shan, the genetically superior Warrior Biologist.smiley - hero He leads the army in a city where a fifth of the city's population of superior well-bred humans are warriors. This is presumably because they have a very-present enemy in the form of a city of the Dead that regularly prays upon them located ACROSS THE RIVER. I'm not a soldier but allowing your deadliest enemy to have a major stronghold next door and then spending your time ignoring this stronghold in the hope it will go away doesn't seem the most effective military strategy…

"Pirates of Venus begins inauspiciously, with references to many of Edgar Rice Burroughs other novels."
Yep, inauspiciously. It takes Burroughs 3 pages before he realises that he's actually writing this story and not his last one, having first explaining away a plot hole from his previous 'Pellucidar' book. I'm no literary critic but when a book begins 'it may look like there's a gaping plot hole in my last book*, but actually there isn't, the reason being…' it perhaps isn't the best start. Doesn't really fill you with confidence. That said, it certainly is a memorable way to begin. Can't say I can think of any other author starting a book by correcting story gaps from a previous, unrelated novel. smiley - winkeye


* At the end of 'Tarzan at the Earth's Core' Jason Gridley refuses to go back to America on the airship as he swears that he will never, ever, ever, under any circumstances whatsoever never ever leave Pellucidar until he locates his missing friend, von Horst, this is a solemn vow he pledges in front of all, especially the love of his life Jana, who he couldn't live without. At the start of the next book, 'Back to the Stone Age' he'd left Pellucidar on the airship and is back in America despite not having found, or even started looking for, von Horst. Jana is never mentioned again. Fortunately 'Pirates of Venus' explains apparently Jason had a feeling that von Horst would be found so he decided he didn't need to look for him after all, though we still don't know where Jana vanished to.

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Peer Review: A87915603 - The Venus Novels by Edgar Rice Burroughs

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