h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: 'The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe' - the Film - A87906360
Author: Bluebottle - U43530

Awaiting availability in Peer Review.

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despite the show business maxim advising never work with children -->
despite the show business maxim advising never to work with children

In Narnia she meets a faun named Mr Tumnus -- would it be worth putting a footnote on this?

"Of the goat legs and small horns variety rather than a young deer".

Mr Tumnus returns Lucy safely back to where they met, but when she returns she discovers -- avoid the repetition of "returns" and say where she returned to:

Mr Tumnus leads Lucy safely back to where they met, but when she returns through the wardrobe she discovers

Inside the White Witch's are -->
Inside the White Witch's Castle are

Ray Winston is best known British television hard-man actors -- this looks like you've left out some words, as it doesn't make sense.

Director Andrew Adamson was best known for previously directing 'Shrek', with was his first live-action film -- not sure what you mean here. Even if you intended "which was his first", Shrek is not a live-action film.

the Pevensie's experience the terrors of war --> the Pevensies experience the terrors of war

Filming was based in New Zealand, however although it had fantastic locations, notably for the battle scene which was filmed at Flock Hill, South Island, there was poor film studio availability -- I really don't understand this sentence. I suspect you've put "however" when you meant "but", as you often do this, but even then it doesn't seem to make any sense. try breaking it up into two or more sentences.

The wardrobe inspired by Lewis' own wardrobe -->
The wardrobe was inspired by Lewis' own wardrobe

The White Witch, who has an ice crown rather than a gold one in the novel -- I'm unsure about this. You've said that the Witch wears an ice crown in the novel, but I suspect you mean the opposite. Reword it to make it completely clear:

The White Witch, who wears an ice crown rather than the gold one of the novel

or

The White Witch, who wears a gold crown rather than the ice one of the novel

the American film studios who expressed interest in making a film adaptation were convinced -->
the American film studios who expressed an interest were convinced

(you've already said "before an adaption was made" in the same sentence.)

while most were either safety swords made from a combination of aluminium and rubber for the main cast, while background characters had weapons made from urethane

-- you've an either/or construction here which has got out of hand. There's no "or" clause. Better to get rid of the "either" and reword it:

28 swords were effectively real swords used for scenes in which they are being drawn or posed with. Most swords for the main cast were safety swords made from a combination of aluminium and rubber; background characters had weapons made from urethane.

Wonderful World of Weta' exhibit -- surely this was an exhibition rather than an exhibit?

Terms and conditions apply: Monarchs must be under 16, not a white witch and dislike lipstick --
I don't think the "under 16" condition is correct. Peter was still High King Peter as a grown man in The Last Battle, although he never really returned to Narnia.

Thanks again for the read through. I've added a faun footnote and made the various changes as suggested so I hope it all reads much better now.

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I never realised the spelling difference between faun and fawn. You have a few fawns in among the fauns.

I've corrected all fawns to fauns in both the film entries for 'The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe' and 'Prince Caspian', fauns aren't mentioned in 'Dawn Treader' or the two entries currently in Peer Review.

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Thanks. That looks better.

Here are a few more suggestions:

The group of links at the top of your entry is rather confusing. There are two different links to The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, and another one to the The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe - the Animation. There are also individual links to Prince Caspian and the Dawn Treader, and a combined link to the two of them. I'm sure there's a reason for all this but it's not obvious.

Might it be worth saying that the violent air raid takes place during the Second World War? Or was this film not specifically set in that era?

Evacuated isn't exactly the right word here - it is London that was evacuated, not the children, since evacuated means "emptied", but I can't think of a better way of saying this, so leave it for the moment.

she discovers that no time had passed -->
she discovers that no time has passed

she returns to the wardrobe and Narnia, followed by Edmund who also enters Narnia -- avoid the repetition of Narnia:

she returns to the wardrobe and Narnia, followed by Edmund who also enters the magical world

loses Lucy, and meets the White Witch instead -- remove the comma. It makes it look as if it was Lucy who meets the Witch.

when she tries to tell Peter and Susan that Edmund had been there too he tells them that it was all a game in order to avoid talking of the White Witch
-- I'd reword this like this:

when she tries to tell Peter and Susan that Edmund _has_ been there too, he is uncomfortable and doesn't want to mention the White Witch. He tells them that it was all a game.

They meet Beaver who leads them to his dam and tells them that Aslan is in Narnia, yet Edmund leaves after asking 'who's Aslan?' to see the White Witch.

-- this sounds odd. "Yet" is normally used to connect a second part which somehow contradicts the first part, but this is just a series of events. I'd suggest:

"They meet Beaver who leads them to his dam and tells them that Aslan is in Narnia. Edmund joins in the conversation, asking 'who's Aslan?', but then sneaks off unobserved to see the White Witch.

the journey to Aslan and his army --> the journey to meet Aslan and his army

Oscar-winning actress Tilda Swinton who was the White Witch Queen Jadis was Queen Isabella in Edward II (1991), also appeared in The Beach (2000), won the Best Supporting Actress Oscar for Michael Clayton (2007) and played The Ancient One in Doctor Strange (2016).

-- this doesn't flow quite right. It would be better split into two:

Oscar-winning actress Tilda Swinton who was the White Witch Queen Jadis was Queen Isabella in Edward II (1991). She also appeared in The Beach (2000), won the Best Supporting Actress Oscar for Michael Clayton (2007) and played The Ancient One in Doctor Strange (2016).

Is it Rachel Henley or Rachael Henley? You have both.
Similarly, you have both Skandar and Skanda.

family involvement in the film; as Skanda's -- change the semicolon to a colon as the first part introduces the second part.

Ray Winston is best known as playing hard-man roles -->
Ray Winston is best known for playing hard-man roles

writing down his memories of what happened in The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe -->
writing down his memories of what happened in the book
(as you already have the full title earlier in the same sentence)

The actors, all of whom were over 6'6", who played centaurs also stood on 14-inch high platforms -->
The actors who played centaurs, all of whom were over 6'6", stood on 14-inch high platforms


Only after the success of the Harry Potter films and The Lord of the Rings trilogy was this belief challenged, with both big-budget fantasy series having an affect on the film, which was made with the setting, care and attention to detail that it deserved.
-- this is too long. Split it:

Only after the success of the Harry Potter films and The Lord of the Rings trilogy was this belief challenged. Both big-budget fantasy series had an affect on the film, which was made with the setting, care and attention to detail that it deserved.

At the start of the film the family was disjointed, by the end they had united.-->
At the start of the film the family was disjointed, by the end they have united.

dwarves, cyclops and giants -->
dwarves, cyclopses and giants

(technically it should be cyclopes but that looks stupid)

CS Lewis had served in Great War -->
CS Lewis had served in the Great War

That's all I can think of.

G

Thanks again, I've made all those changes.
It was vey difficult to write 'Skandar' as I kept wanting to write 'Skandia Cowes Week' instead…

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