The Future Isn't What It Used to Be

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A Delorean Time Machine

We were driving up along the motorway to visit the in-laws when we overtook a DeLorean. As I hadn't seen one for a few years it quite took my eye. A few minutes after leaving it far behind, I was shocked to see it ahead, still in the slow lane, even though there's no way it could have got there without our seeing it. We overtook it again, leaving it in our wake once more. And then a few minutes later once again the same DeLorean, not another identical model car, was in front of us driving in the slow lane until we passed it. Puzzled, we decided to pull in at the next services for a short break as it isn't a good idea to be driving when seeing things.

Can you guess what was already parked at the services? Yes, that very same DeLorean. So I said to the driver,

I'm sure I've overtaken you three times and each time you seem to get in front of us without our seeing, how come you've managed to get here before us?

The driver, a wild, white-haired scientist, replied that his DeLorean had an oversensitive flux capacitor that wouldn't fully switch off, and that every time he travelled at over 87mph it hopped a few minutes back in time, meaning he was always overtaking himself when driving. In way of apology he offered to take me for a swift trip into the future, to which I readily agreed. So we went to the services' deserted caravan carpark, got up to 88mph and blasted 5 years into the future, arriving just before midnight at the same service station in early January. The Doc said I could spend five minutes here, but we couldn't stay long as he didn't want to risk the flux capacitor blinking out completely.

Elated, I decided I'd get a heads up on future events by buying a newspaper from the services' newsagents. Unfortunately as it was approaching midnight, the branch of WH Smiths was all-but out of newspapers, having only a copy of a January 2023 issue of The Daily Express left.

The front page read,




So I returned to the present disappointed and reassured, knowing that some things never change.

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