Irritating Public Radio, Your Friends In The Air, at your service. Wafting through the ether once again with a topical offering that no other station or company would bring to you with open arms and a thud on the floor...

This afternoon we venture forth into unforded streams and and take you into unchartered territory with a spectacular interview with the woman who has her groundbroken field all to herself...

We present Dr. Emelia Ophelia Parmenter, the psychoanalyst to the psychoanalysts of the stars, in an eye and wallet opening expose of the exposers of the inner workings of the murkier aspects of fame and fortune, talent and....

Dr. E.O.P.: Do you never shut that hole?


Narr: Huhn? Pardon?


Dr. E.O.P.: Not in this lifetime. Can we get on with it?


Narr: Sure


Dr. E.O.P.: (singing near key) I love my mother,

And me mother loves me,

On weekends we go

Swimming in the sea...


Narr: Um...


Dr. E.O.P.: (Still almost at key) I like my brother,

and he likes me,

But we still fight,

When we sit to tea...


Narr: What...?


Dr. E.O.P.: (Closer, but still not there)We are a happy family,

Smiling and swimming,

As close as can be...


Narr: Excuse me. What are you doing?


Dr. E.O.P.: (Now she's there!) La la,

La la la,

Lee low,

Low lee lee...

Huh? What?


Narr: What are you doing?


Dr. E.O.P.: Demonstrating.


Narr: Demonstrating what, exactly? It sounded like you were singing.


Dr. E.O.P.: I were. That is part of my therapeutic technique...


Narr: What? To reduce the billable hours by scaring the....


Dr. E.O.P.: Watch it, you. This is a time-tested therapeutic technique...


Narr: In pre-schools....


Dr. E.O.P.: (singing again)You're not listening...

You are resisting...

How can I get through to you,

if you insist on being rude?


Narr: I should have stuck to sportcasting. At least I knew the rules, then.


Dr. E.O.P.: Oh, unhappy in our work, eh? I have just the song for that!


Narr: Oh, tatters! Eric! I'm off! (thumps, bangs, door slams)


Dr. E.O.P.: (singing again)If you feel that you're unused

In the skills that you could use,

There's a tiny little ruse,

to bruise up the obtuse...


Eric: Um. Hello.


Dr. E.O.P.: Um...Oh... Where'd the other fellow go?


Eric: Um. He left. You didn't see him or hear him, he made quite a stir...?


Dr. E.O.P.: I use the patented technique of singing upward, so my upper lip gets in the way of my vision and I do kind fill my own ears when I sing... I'm funny that way...


Eric: Among others.


Dr. E.O.P.: Whom?


Eric: Ah, I think I hear the phone...excuse me


Dr. E.O.P.: Oh? I didn't... Oh, all right. Here's a song I sang on TisWas once:

(sinking once again)Oh, the tone of a phone

right next to your ear bone,

is always at home when you...


Eric: Sorry. It's for you. Something about Sir Sean Connery's gardener's poodle...


Dr. E.O.P.: Ooo, must be be a referral. Be just a mo'!


(door opening, door closing. Fast stomp of feet, door latching)
Eric: There! That's got 'er!


(banging on door, muffled voice of doctor)


Dr. E.O.P.: Hey, you! What's this? Let me in! I'm booked! I've got a committment! Let me in!


Eric: He-He. Let's see, where's that "Rocky Horror" CD? Ah, "Time Warp", put it on repeat, and ... That Neil Gaiman romance...yessss...


(two hours and thirty minutes of "Lets Do The Time Warp, Again!")