A Handy Hint

0 Conversations

Freewayriding says, 'Seems you're never too old to learn from octogenarian bikers!'

A Handy Hint

How to keep your bicycle nice and shiny, if the aliens leave you alone.

Those of us who have been taking our meds eventually start wondering about just what to do with the stockpile of tinfoil under the sink. Here's a handy tip for putting that foil to use now those pesky aliens have been pharmaceutically banished.

I love my bike. I am lazy. I am also not one of those peacocks that only ride for twenty minutes if the sun shines. I ride all year round in all weathers, my bike gets scrubbed when it needs it, not as a fashion statement.

Therefore I hate chrome, I really, really hate chrome!

I despise spending hours cleaning and polishing a beast that will only get dirty as soon as the wheels turn.

Sadly the finish on modern Triumphs is somewhat lacking in the chrome department, so I tend to go for bikes with blacked out engine casings, black shocks, black bars, etc etc. However, there will always be pesky bits of chrome on show.

Laziness and the road dirt that accumulates on both long runs and the daily commute down the motorway further adds to the rapidly rusting chrome that I can't avoid.

What's this to do with foil hats I hear you ask (or maybe the voices are starting again?), well, yesterday I was speaking to a rather old biker on an equally aged Triumph. Gleaming chrome matching the smile of its rather proud owner of four decades. Lovely thing.

This guy cast knowledgable eyes over Zaphod – nice bike – was granted - bit dirty though.

Gnarly fingers caressed the russet downpipes, still sporting most of a melted supermarket carrier bag, tsk, tsk!

"You got any foil?"

I looked skywards expecting the mothership to be scanning us.

"Works a treat on rusted up chrome!"

Apparently a little foil ball dipped in soapy water is just abrasive enough to dislodge the pesky rust (and thankfully burnt on plastic bags!) but won't scratch the finish, also minute particles of aluminium will fill any tiny dents and scratches!

Zaphod had his Yuletide bath today, bloody chrome looked dreadful.

The overlords were quiet enough, so a quick scrumple and ten minutes later, no rust, gleaming chrome and time for a cuppa and a bacon butty before work!

So if you have a vehicle with dodgy brightwork, (and you're alien free), try it!


Warning: does not work on interstellar craft!

General Features Archive


02.01.17 Front Page

Back Issue Page

Bookmark on your Personal Space

Conversations About This Entry

There are no Conversations for this Entry



Infinite Improbability Drive

Infinite Improbability Drive

Read a random Edited Entry

Written by



h2g2 is created by h2g2's users, who are members of the public. The views expressed are theirs and unless specifically stated are not those of the Not Panicking Ltd. Unlike Edited Entries, Entries have not been checked by an Editor. If you consider any Entry to be in breach of the site's House Rules, please register a complaint. For any other comments, please visit the Feedback page.

Write an Entry

"The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is a wholly remarkable book. It has been compiled and recompiled many times and under many different editorships. It contains contributions from countless numbers of travellers and researchers."

Write an entry
Read more