h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Thanks for the comments I have clarified the rank structure a little, your opinion please

I think this defines done. Let's get it on the front page.

Thanks for the help and ideas. Let me know if there any tweaks required

Still some factual errors and misplaced paragraphs. It's best that these are corrected by you before it goes to the sub-ed.

Byzantine -- should be Byzantium and it's probably worth putting "(Constantinople or Istanbul)" after the name.

They continued to defend the western empire -- should be "eastern empire".

and by the 3rd century the tribal influences
-- should be 3rd century BC

"legionnaires" should be "legionaries"

Alternatively the title derived from the fact he was in charge of a tenth of a cohort.
-- cohort should be century in this.

The last two paragraphs in section "The order of ranks in a century" -- please move these as they are in the wrong place.

The first cohort was the elite core of the Cohort
should be:
The first cohort was the elite core of the legion

You use the acronym NCO without explaining it. Please instead spell it out in full.

Note to subeditor: Many of the footnotes in this don't display properly in Pliny. The footnote and /footnote tags need to be in upper case.

In this run through I've only checked as far as Special Duty Units due to lack of time.

Thanks Gnomon All points attend to as requested

Have you any suggestions for the paragraph re position pease

Here are notes for the rest of the entry:

The paragraph at the end of the section "Special Duty Units" should be part of the first bullet point, rather than down at the end of the section. If you don't know how to do this, bob, the sub-editor can do it.

30 Scorpion bolt shooters, 10 Onager heavy stone throwers, 20 Manuballista Scorpions

-- you call them manuballista scorpions here, but manuballistas earlier on. Are both of these names correct?

The sentence "The Roman army had two distinct types of Auxiliary forces, foot and cavalry." needs to be moved to just before the header "The Auxiliary Foot"

Cavalry

Are you sure that the Prefectus Alae and the Praefectus Alae were different positions? Or were they just different spellings of the same title?

The section "Legionary Discipline and Punishment" isn't ordered correctly. It doesn't flow properly but jumps about. There should be an introduction, then tell us about the different punishments. Instead, you start with a description of minor punishments, then give us the introduction which leads straight into something about officers' reputations. Try and plan this section better and rewrite it if necessary. Try not to just cut and paste.

Footnotes:

I think you should say "Hebrew" rather than "Israeli". The term Israeli refers only to the modern state.

Footnote 11 you give an explanation for the term Decanus / Decanust, but you also explain this in the text of the entry, so you should remove this footnote.

Position of those paragraphs - read the paragraphs, bob, and see what they are about. Then find the section that refers to this. Move them to there.

Once you've done that, read the new section and see is there duplication. If so, delete something. If not, see does the text flow well or do you have to rewrite some of it to make it follow on properly, with an introduction and then the information presented in a reasonable manner.

Job for tomorrow thanks for the advice.

Is this what we are looking for http://www.h2g2.com/dna/h2g2/brunel/A87870711?s_fromedit=1

Rather than make a mess of the PR version this an editing page, title
"TEST 3 EDIT L1"

Comments please.

Entry A87870711

Yes thats the one is, it has the bulk of the updates/alterations completed

I have left the original when this been polished I will replace the original for the last few weeks of PR.

You seem to have moved split up the explanation of how many men there were in a century and have the section on the Maniple into the middle of it.

The idea was to create a coherent order as suggested, maniple section
moved,

This looks very good now.

I feel that there is a lot of detail which is unnecessary - I really feel we don't need extra sections on the guys that manned the frontier forts. These were not anything to do with legions, so they only need a mention rather than so much information that it would make a full entry on its own.

I also feel that the whole thing could be better structured - if you used both headers and subheaders it would be more obvious which bits are out of place. Once everything is in the right place you will see that you are saying the same thing over and over.

(Warning, subheaders don't work in Brunel - they look just the same as headers. But they work in all the other skins).

For example, the "Kit of the Legionary" section is stuck in the middle of the bit where you are explaining how the Legion is made up of Cohorts which are made up of centuries which are made up of contubernia.

I'm not trying to be negative here, bob. I'm hoping that this entry can be worked into something that someone would read - at the moment it is too long and involved.

This looks very good now.

I feel that there is a lot of detail which is unnecessary - I really feel we don't need extra sections on the guys that manned the frontier forts. These were not anything to do with legions, so they only need a mention rather than so much information that it would make a full entry on its own.

good idea

I also feel that the whole thing could be better structured - if you used both headers and subheaders it would be more obvious which bits are out of place. Once everything is in the right place you will see that you are saying the same thing over and over.

(Warning, subheaders don't work in Brunel - they look just the same as headers. But they work in all the other skins).

I will work through it hints would be wecome

For example, the "Kit of the Legionary" section is stuck in the middle of the bit where you are explaining how the Legion is made up of Cohorts which are made up of centuries which are made up of contubernia.

Delt with

I'm not trying to be negative here, bob. I'm hoping that this entry can be worked into something that someone would read - at the moment it is too long and involved.
Thanks for the ideas


As for the frontier forces entry will do a draught

Removed fronter forces to A87870766

The first edit of A87864871 - A Roman Legion is here A87870711.
any comments please

The discarded portions are here at A87870766 and will form the basis of a new entry of an entry covering the border defences and is not in edit.

Bob, the entry we are reviewing has to be the one linked in post 1 of this conversation. Keep versions elsewhere if you want but make your changes to that entry.

The first edit of A87864871 - A Roman Legion is here A87870711.
any comments please smiley

The discarded portions are here at A87870766 and will form the basis of a new entry of an entry covering the border defences and is not in edit.