Have you ever filled in one of those carer surveys? The ones that want to know if you get enough sleep and take enough care or yourself and eat enough lemon drizzle cake. They obviously allow various groups to track and report the general wellbeing of carers. But they can also act as a useful tool for reminding carers to check on themselves- a chance for them to keep track of how they are, which isn't always their priority. So what I thought I'd do this carer's week is try to challenge your assumptions about how you are. Hopefully I can make realise -if it is indeed the case- that you're not quite as fine as you always assume you are.

One thing I probably get wrong every time I answer these surveys is whether or not caring affects my social life. I have little or no interest in going out, so I don't see it as a problem. Sometimes we have used the excuse that my wife is tired as a reason for going home early when we want to. There are times when I would stay longer if I could, but she is ill and is tired so we go. More pertinently what I like doing is spending time with my wife. This is limited by how ill she is at any given time, especially by how tired she is. On top of that the carer/caree relationship is not the same as the husband/wife relationship. Being a carer is a job to some people, and it certainly isn't social interaction to anybody. Consider this a prompt for you. What would you want to be doing with your time? Is there stuff that, in actual fact, you would be doing if you were caring for whoever it is? Now go back and answer that question again.

Caring certainly affects my physical wellbeing, but I don't know whether I've always been conscious of that. It occurs to me that if you've been caring for a significant length of time then its impacts upon become the norm and you don't notice them. In that respect it's a bit like parenthood, or perhaps prison. Are you in pain at the moment? Where? Why? Is it anything to do with your caring? Are you tired? Are you getting a full night's sleep? Consider your general physical condition and ask yourself whether you're satisfied with it. I'm not by any means suggesting that anything not quite right is because of your caring responsibilities, but you have to ask the question. Sometimes, though, the answer is more complicated.

Ooh, check me, linking from one paragraph to the next. I went to see my GP a couple of weeks back, complaining of fatigue, lapses in memory and generally lowness of function. Another doctor had already ruled out various concerns with blood tests and suggested that it might simply be a virus. Whatever it was had continued to trouble me, especially as I was finding it hard to stay awake during my lunch hour or early in the evenings. My regular GP knows me and my situation quite well and also knows my wife, who is another of his patients. He listened to me, asked a few questions and then declared that the primary cause was what he called 'mental fatigue'. I was overstressed and the anxiety putting a strain on me physically and causing the tiredness and other related symptoms. Which me made stop and think. It hasn't made me better (yet) but it has made me write this. So take this carers' week as an opportunity to evaluate yourself and how you are. Consider what impacts you and what you can do to make life easier and better for you.

benjaminpmoore

08.06.15 Front Page

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