h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

A few days ago, I told the tale of a burglary of the house of my ancestor Isaac and his 'wife' Ann. This is another story of a theft and its consequences. Isaac had a grandson named Thomas, who worked as a carpenter. On one particular evening in December 1830, Thomas was enjoying a night out, and was most definitely over the safe limit for driving. Luckily for him, and the general pubic, cars had yet to be invented, and breathalysers were extremely rare. Indeed, the only one currently in existence in the area was attached to the face of the Matron of the Hackney Union Workhouse, who could smell even the tiniest amount of alcohol from 20 feet.

Whilst Thomas smilingly contemplated which of the two pints of ale that appeared to be sitting on the table before him he should drink first, his sister approached him for help. She had lost her house key and couldn't get in. Family ties being very strong in those days of death and dearth, and given the tendency of most of them to die early, meant that they weren't terribly inconvenient for too long, Thomas immediately agreed.

He went with her to her house and they asked the woman next door, Martha Galway, if they could borrow her key to see if it would fit. This was quite a cunning plan, Thomas had thought, reasoning that keys were keys and locks were locks and they were, when all was said and done, made for each other. He was somewhat distressed to find that his idea was a complete failure, but, nothing daunted, he concocted an even more cunning plan, and forced the door open.

Whilst his sister went in, Thomas took the key back to Martha. She demanded money for the use of the key, even though it didn't fit, and Thomas was in such good humour that he obliged. Martha noticed that Thomas was somewhat inebriated and probably not wanting to walk home, and she sensed the opportunity to maximise the financial possibilities in the lucky accident, and asked if he would like to stay the night. According to the court records, Thomas agreed and gave her some more money for his accomodation. Or was it for his 'accomodation'?

Am I being pruriently creative here? If Thomas was in need of a bed for the night he had just come from the house next door within which an undoubtedly grateful sister was lodged. Suffice to say that Thomas went upstairs, looked at his watch, and put it in his trouser pocket, took off his clothes and went to bed. He was awakened by the noise of someone trying to gain access to the house at about 3 a.m. Again, the court record states simply that, Martha, who also happened to be sleeping in the same room; oh yes, come on, tell me I am mucky minded, got up, opened the window to see who it was, then went downstairs to let a man in.

She remained there for two hours. Meanwhile Thomas discovered that his watch and money had gone. He confronted Martha who denied taking the items and Thomas went out at 8am to fetch a policeman. During the court session, the 24 year old Martha Galway denied the charges, but she was found guilty and sentenced to seven years transportation. Records from the register indicate that Martha was on board the ship "Mary" that sailed on 11 June 1831 for Van Diemen’s Land, Australia.

Makes you wonder what the banking speculators would have got if we could have time travelled a dozen 1830's London magistrates forwards to 2008.

I'm really liking these journals pebblederook

Me too, so entertaining

Deb

[Amy P]

An excellent yarn.