A Conversation for Thrust2

Peer Review: A87814731 - Thrust2

Post 1

Bluebottle

Entry: Thrust2 - A87814731
Author: Bluebottle - U43530

I'll be honest, I'm not impressed or interested with speed itself. 'Man puts foot on accelerator and goes fast' - my reaction: smiley - yawnsmiley - zzz

'Man with nothing but a dream meets man with nothing but paper and pencil, and together create something extraordinary' - now That's a story! Especially if both the paper and the pencil are on the Isle of Wight.

So here is the story of 'Thrust2', the fastest Isle of Wight-built car - in the world!

<BB<


A87814731 - Thrust2

Post 2

Icy North

Fascinating story, well done.

It's a bit long, and you might want to split it into two parts at some judicious point.

The content is fine, but there is a lot of minor repetition, especially in the opening sections. We know he's trying to break the world land speed record, for example, but just count how many times you mention it.

You also mention some engineers' names, but it's not clear why, particularly. If you're going to bring new names into the story, I think you should justify their inclusion, otherwise it makes it a little more difficult to read.


A87814731 - Thrust2

Post 3

Bluebottle

Thanks for popping by – I've trimmed and tidied, and hopefully removed some of the repetition.

I do indeed mention engineer's names – in Noble's autobiography, he frequently stresses how much Thrust2's success was due to his team, but only really writes about what he was doing. Ackroyd writes far more schematically, rather than about who did what. So I wish to respect Noble's intentions that Thrust2 owed its success to who built it, but I don't actually know the exact details. I have tried to add a bit more (to an extent we don't need to know the exact details anyway, as this is a general overview of the car's story) which hopefully justifies their inclusion.

<BB<


A87814731 - Thrust2

Post 4

Bluebottle

It's had a bit of a re-write, especially at the start, to make it a bit shorter and easier to get into.

<BB<


A87814731 - Thrust2

Post 5

SashaQ - happysad

I quite like cars and speed, but I generally do like more variety in relation to driving, rather than just going in a straight line. I enjoyed the Entry, especially as Beaulieu gets a mention smiley - ok

I'm reading through again, and mentioning points as I go along...

smiley - orib "In practice the second car, Thrust2" - I think it would be better to say something like "As it happened," because the Practice Car had already been mentioned, but Thrust 2 was the Demonstration Car

smiley - orib In the Thrust1 section, I think it is worth stating after Tomorrow's World that he decided to attempt the record "in the practice car" - ack, no - I see it is the *British* record that he was attempting - I got confused there and wondered why the Gary Gabelich record wasn't mentioned... If you say that the "British record was still 174.883mph", that will help to emphasise the difference. smiley - ok (I see it was also mentioned in Footnote 4 smiley - doh but I missed that on first readthrough...) Perhaps moving the footnote earlier would help, I don't know - see what you think smiley - ok

smiley - orib I wondered why Noble specifically asked for a 650mph car designer - is 650mph Mach 2? No. Ah - I see that the Gary Gabelich record was more than 536mph, so the record speed had moved on considerably since Bluebird CN7...

smiley - orib Ranalagh Works is mentioned twice in the Constructing the Car section - was a site there rented before or after the kitchen was rented, or was one site rented and then another?

smiley - orib " This, combined with the use of the testing the afterburner, allowed the car to reach a speed of 447mph " Something missing from this sentence?

smiley - oksmiley - rocket


A87814731 - Thrust2

Post 6

Bluebottle

Of course I mentioned Beaulieu - I'm very fond of Beaulieu – I went there for my birthday. Actually it wasn't my birthday, I went there in March, but it was a sort of delayed birthday treat when the weather was warmer, as it had snowed on my actual birthday.smiley - smiley

So, I've made a few changes to answer all the questions and points you've raised smiley - smiley

<BB<


A87814731 - Thrust2

Post 7

SashaQ - happysad

I was in Beaulieu in April this year as my post-birthday treat smiley - biggrin (no snow, but it was still ridiculously cold then... smiley - brr)

smiley - ok Excellent changes, thank you


A87814731 - Thrust2

Post 8

Bluebottle

Did you see the A87784564 while you were there?

<BB<


A87814731 - Thrust2

Post 9

SashaQ - happysad

I certainly did smiley - oksmiley - cool


A87814731 - Thrust2

Post 10

Nosebagbadger {Ace}

An excellent entry, seems a good length to me smiley - ok


A87814731 - Thrust2

Post 11

SashaQ - happysad

smiley - tekcor


Congratulations - Your Entry has been Recommended for the Edited Guide!

Post 12

h2g2 auto-messages

Your Guide Entry has just been picked from Peer Review by one of our Scouts, and is now heading off into the Editorial Process, which ends with publication in the Edited Guide. We've moved this Review Conversation out of Peer Review and to the entry itself.

If you'd like to know what happens now, check out the page on 'What Happens after your Entry has been Recommended?' at EditedGuide-Process. We hope this explains everything.

Thanks for contributing to the Edited Guide!


Congratulations - Your Entry has been Recommended for the Edited Guide!

Post 13

SashaQ - happysad

Congratulations! smiley - tekcor


Congratulations - Your Entry has been Recommended for the Edited Guide!

Post 14

bobstafford

smiley - cheers well done


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