The h2g2 Poem: Gardens I Have Known

0 Conversations

To your backwoods Editor, the word 'garden' means 'vegetables'. That other thing is called a 'flower bed'.

Gardens I Have Known

A hillbilly wagon.
'Buddy,' said Aint Nan, 'get out your backhoe,
Come dig me a garden.'
'Yes'm,' he replied.
The garden had corn, and okry, and 'maters,
And bush beans and pole beans.
We ate a mess of them when we visited.
She said, 'You eat what you can, and what you can't,
You can.'
Lots of Mason jars in the cellar.
My country grandmother never
Went into her garden without a hoe.
Copperheads didn't stand a chance.
My city grandmother hung
Aluminium pie plates in the fig tree.
Stay away, birdies, we want
Those fig preserves.
The best 'mater plant grew
Right outside the back door
Where she dumped
The coffee grounds.
My dad discovered
To his disgust
That okry won't grow
In Pennsylvania.
The courgette must be a wonderful thing.
Zucchinis, however, are a plague.
One plant is too many.
My mother deep-fried it.
My grandmother called it 'a' Eyetalian cucumber'.
In Pennsylvania, 8 August is a holiday.
It's called Sneak-Zucchini-onto-Your-Neighbour's-Porch-Night.
Zucchini: the gift that keeps giving.
In the South, I discover,
Okry grow too fast.
One day, a nubbin.
Next day, suitable for whittling.
Parents on holiday, I find
The garbage disposal
Hides the evidence.


>
Oh, the stately gardens of Old England,
Where each owner names his estate.
In 'The Willows', no doubt,
Blossoms of elegant nomenclature dance in the dignified breezes.
Here, a naughty bunny peeks out from under the greens,
An illicit bite of 'mater in his mouth.
The birds complain about the tartness of damson plums,
And nobody ventures among the pole beans
Unless armed with a hoe.
Fact and Fiction by Dmitri Gheorgheni Archive

Dmitri Gheorgheni

15.07.13 Front Page

Back Issue Page


Bookmark on your Personal Space


Conversations About This Entry

There are no Conversations for this Entry

Entry

A87801753

Infinite Improbability Drive

Infinite Improbability Drive

Read a random Edited Entry


Written by

Credits

Edited by

h2g2 Editors

References

h2g2 Entries

External Links

Not Panicking Ltd is not responsible for the content of external internet sites

Disclaimer

h2g2 is created by h2g2's users, who are members of the public. The views expressed are theirs and unless specifically stated are not those of the Not Panicking Ltd. Unlike Edited Entries, Entries have not been checked by an Editor. If you consider any Entry to be in breach of the site's House Rules, please register a complaint. For any other comments, please visit the Feedback page.

Write an Entry

"The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is a wholly remarkable book. It has been compiled and recompiled many times and under many different editorships. It contains contributions from countless numbers of travellers and researchers."

Write an entry
Read more