A Conversation for One Page Poetry

I have a feeling Lewis Carroll would like this...

Post 1

Mu Beta

The King came upon Alice as she did lie
Down flat on her face by the rose-tree.
The knave smiled timidly in reply;
Looked at her tossing the velvet with fury

Jumping impatiently as she was recognised,
Alice turned her hand to the King’s crimson head.
But the royal crown was nervous, doubtful, surprised
So Alice waited and politely said:

“Your Majesty, my hands ought to turn it from rest
Soldiers came off loudly and decidedly you see."
Alice laid gardeners, courtiers and guests
Came when smiling at the faces, all three!

His manner opposite and merrily Smiled
At the lying crown down was pointing
“Could not beast upon your crimson cushion, child
My dear I be a Queen, not a King!"

B


I have a feeling Lewis Carroll would like this...

Post 2

Mu Beta

(With the fourth verse corrected to make sense)

The King came upon Alice as she did lie
Down flat on her face by the rose-tree.
The knave smiled timidly in reply;
Looked at her tossing the velvet with fury

Jumping impatiently as she was recognised,
Alice turned her hand to the King’s crimson head.
But the royal crown was nervous, doubtful, surprised
So Alice waited and politely said:

“Your Majesty, my hands ought to turn it from rest
Soldiers came off loudly and decidedly you see."
Alice laid gardeners, courtiers and guests
Came when smiling at the faces, all three!

His manner opposite and merrily smiled
Down at the lying crown, pointing:
“Could not beast upon your crimson cushion, child
My dear I be a Queen, not a King!"

B


I have a feeling Lewis Carroll would like this...

Post 3

Mu Beta

Aaaahhh!

Critical error! Start again.

Wish I'd done this as a Guide Entry now. Feel free to delete posts 1 & 2.

The King came upon Alice as she did lie
Down flat on her face by the rose-tree.
The knave stopped timidly in reply;
Looked at her tossing the velvet with fury

Jumping impatiently as she was recognised,
Alice turned her hand to the King’s crimson head.
But the royal crown was nervous, doubtful, surprised
So Alice waited and politely said:

“Your Majesty, my hands ought to turn it from rest
Soldiers came off loudly and decidedly you see."
Alice laid gardeners, courtiers and guests
Came when smiling at the faces, all three!

His manner opposite and merrily smiled
Down at the lying crown, pointing:
“Could not beast upon your crimson cushion, child
My dear, I be a Queen, not a King!"

B


I have a feeling Lewis Carroll would like this...

Post 4

Lanzababy - Guide Editor

Wow!

It's astounded me so far that all the poetry I've read has such different interpretation and meaning from the same few words. Yours is quite smiley - erm... amazing Mu Beta


I have a feeling Lewis Carroll would like this...

Post 5

Mu Beta

I DID start with a noble aim. The intention was to use all 443 words AND make it rhyme. I picked out about 16 pairs of couplets and put together a lovely couple of verses about a knight taking a love letter to his lady.

But then I decided it was hard work and all I could see were loaded phrases about 'tossing the velvet' and 'crimson crown'. So this was the natural (d)evolution of that project.

B


I have a feeling Lewis Carroll would like this...

Post 6

Minorvogonpoet


And very good it is too! smiley - applause


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