h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: Charles At The Court Of Spain - A87794428
Author: bobstafford - U3151547

Please comment

I had expected to find this entry in the Edited Guide Writing Workshop rather than the Alternative Writing Workshop. Are you getting the two confused, as I think I remember seeing a couple more of your entries for Peer Review entering the Alternative Writing Workshop first?

With articles in a project, we have to assume that any reader has not necessarily read the previous articles. So I'd briefly explain who Prince Charles is (on the off chance that someone comes to the article via the Infinite Improbability Drive and assumes you're writing about the bloke who is married to Camila).
I'd consider rewriting a few sentences such as:
'first proposed a proposed marriage'
'The Spanish, who commenced the marriage negotiations to make England allied to Spain. This was originally an attempt to keep the British out of Spain's growing empire.'
When in 1621 Charles and Buckingham decided it was time a wife. – I'd reword it, maybe something like 'In 1621 Charles and Buckingham it was time for Charles to marry'

I think I'd also try to incorporate some of the footnotes into the text. Maybe have a 'Benefits of the Marriage' section, including the section currently in the footnote about Pope Gregorio XV, which is a bit long for a footnote (and I should know, being extremely guilty of overusing and abusing footnotes). What the benefits of such a marriage alliance would be, and why people were in favour or against it.
You mention that England declared war – perhaps mention that this was part of the Thirty Years' War?

I'll wait to comment on your next article in the series when it's moved out of the Alternative Writing Workshop and into either the Edited Guide Writing Workshop or Peer Review.

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Ok

Any comments

Just a quick question I can't find the link to get this entry out of AWW or do I just create another entry? any ideas.

I can't seem to find it either...

I'd probably start another one and go from there.

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Sond like a plan

As it is us on this thread I ask the question here. There is one thing you might know BB are people visiting this site and actually reading the entries. Traffic is the life blood of any site the readers readers are invisable, you must be courious as well

Not just h2g2 but traffic from search engines if so can it be published
To encourage all hootooers even a tag on the entry noting the visits visible only to hootooers.

Entries = views = traffic = site activity = more entries = more hootooers.

If we do good why not tell us if not why not. If we are not we can see what is needed and try and fill the gaps.

I'd quite like to know that sort of thing too - for instance, has anyone (outside the usual Peer Reviewers) ever actually read any of the rubbish I churn out? I personally don't have access to that, but I would quite like to.

Have you thought about suggesting that at the Feedback page? A388325

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As you are more prolific it would be best from you but I will be the first to sign the petition