A Conversation for Triple Jump
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Peer Review: A87783871 - Triple Jump
Nosebagbadger {Ace} Started conversation Jan 26, 2013
Entry: Triple Jump - A87783871
Author: Nosebagbadger {Ace} - U14077177
The final entry of my Olympic field event project!
I need it to be linked to the long jump entry, preferably internally, as well as at the top - but I can't do that until the long jump entry is picked/goes through with this one
I am also submitting my introduction/project page
Cheers with any help!
A87783871 - Triple Jump
h5ringer Posted Jan 28, 2013
Hi nbb Glad we've now got the full set of Field Event sports
The 5th bullet point of the 'Method' section - the one beginning <> - causes me a few problems. Having read it several times I understand what you are trying say, but the phrases 'horizontal vertical velocity (going forward and up)' and 'vertical horizontal velocity (up and forward as in the long jump)' will imo confuse the average non-sporting reader.
I admit, a better alternative hasn't sprung to mind, but could you give some thought to rewording that part of the bullet point.
In the 'Famous Triple Jumpers' section, there are a couple of places where there are things missing:
<
<>
A87783871 - Triple Jump
h5ringer Posted Jan 28, 2013
Oh yes, the last bullet point in the 'Rules' section, about the prohibition on somersaults.
Rather than could I suggest that something along the lines of removes the personal pronoun without resorting to 'this researcher'.
A87783871 - Triple Jump
Nosebagbadger {Ace} Posted Jan 28, 2013
Amused that that is the crucial problem that jumps out, but I'll have a look at it
A87783871 - Triple Jump
Bluebottle Posted Jan 28, 2013
You deserve an Olympic Medal after getting through all the field events!
I'm a bit confused by the first footnote, which seems to repeat you have already said:
The triple jump - frequently known as the "hop, skip and jump"1 Or even the hop, skip and jump.
Shouldn't less steps be fewer steps?
again the the exact format – duplicate 'the's in the Tailteann Games section, as well as an extra 'though'. I'd perhaps split it into two sentences.
And yes, the Jonathan Edwards section needs a little tidying as h5ringer's mentioned.
But other than those minor points, an excellent addition!
<BB<
A87783871 - Triple Jump
Nosebagbadger {Ace} Posted Jan 28, 2013
I'll have a look at this after lunch
And after my comment to H5ringer I feel I should admit I didn't actually notice his first post (I'm sure my page said only 1 post, but still) and I specifically picked up on the somersault
A87783871 - Triple Jump
Nosebagbadger {Ace} Posted Jan 29, 2013
Ok, have taken a look at the given problems, and I think I've (almost) all of them
The 5th bullet point of the 'Method' section - I've taken an attempt at clarifying it, but would appreciate you having another look at it to see if it's any clearer
<
<
I'd thought I'd fixed both of these errors (flaw in the GuideML) in the checks i did before PR, but obviously I failed/forgot to save update - both now fixed
e last bullet point in the 'Rules' section, about the prohibition on somersaults.
- Have taken an alteration - not quite the one suggested, but could definitely use a look at
The triple jump - frequently known as the "hop, skip and jump"1 Or even the hop, skip and jump.
- Yep, one of them was supposed to say step, not skip
Shouldn't less steps be fewer steps?
- Just because I correct other people's grammar doesn't mean mine has to be right? Does it?
again the the exact format – duplicate 'the's in the Tailteann Games section, as well as an extra 'though'. I'd perhaps split it into two sentences.
I've looked over it three times, but I can't find the duplicate "the's" unless, you think there are unncessary ones that are separated - which I admit I wasn't looking for - could you point them out with the words that follow them?
The "though"s and the flow of the sentence has been fixed
Cheers all
Now to shift the title of my entry to something flamboyantly risque to encourage more people to comment on it
A87783871 - Triple Jump
Bluebottle Posted Jan 30, 2013
'The Tailteann Games, ancient Irish funeral games, are also said to have included a form of the triple jump, though again *the the* exact format is unknown.'
<BB<
A87783871 - Triple Jump
Dmitri Gheorgheni, Post Editor Posted Feb 11, 2013
Semicolons or this jump?
for doing all these Olympic events.
I am impressed with the second-person technique, here. But I'm still not going to try it.
A87783871 - Triple Jump
Nosebagbadger {Ace} Posted Feb 11, 2013
The 2nd person technique or the triple jump? (Don't try to combine the two, I found it really slowed down my writing speed)
A87783871 - Triple Jump
Bluebottle Posted Mar 4, 2013
'Self-bump' - is that a new triple-jump technique?
I'm happy with this entry, no more comments to make.
<BB<
A87783871 - Triple Jump
Nosebagbadger {Ace} Posted Mar 4, 2013
Self-bump is what you do to get yourself out of the sand if your legs have gone on strike after the first three - it's like an energetic caterpillar
...or so I have heard
Congratulations - Your Entry has been Recommended for the Edited Guide!
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Peer Review: A87783871 - Triple Jump
- 1: Nosebagbadger {Ace} (Jan 26, 2013)
- 2: h5ringer (Jan 28, 2013)
- 3: h5ringer (Jan 28, 2013)
- 4: Nosebagbadger {Ace} (Jan 28, 2013)
- 5: Bluebottle (Jan 28, 2013)
- 6: Nosebagbadger {Ace} (Jan 28, 2013)
- 7: Nosebagbadger {Ace} (Jan 29, 2013)
- 8: Bluebottle (Jan 30, 2013)
- 9: h5ringer (Jan 30, 2013)
- 10: Nosebagbadger {Ace} (Jan 30, 2013)
- 11: 8584330 (Feb 9, 2013)
- 12: Dmitri Gheorgheni, Post Editor (Feb 11, 2013)
- 13: Nosebagbadger {Ace} (Feb 11, 2013)
- 14: Dmitri Gheorgheni, Post Editor (Feb 11, 2013)
- 15: Nosebagbadger {Ace} (Mar 4, 2013)
- 16: Bluebottle (Mar 4, 2013)
- 17: Nosebagbadger {Ace} (Mar 4, 2013)
- 18: h2g2 auto-messages (Mar 4, 2013)
- 19: Dmitri Gheorgheni, Post Editor (Mar 4, 2013)
- 20: lil ~ Auntie Giggles with added login ~ returned (Mar 4, 2013)
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