h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: Workhouse! Paupers and Idiots in the Grubber - A87782638
Author: Bluebottle - U43530

The shocking story of the Isle of Wight House of Industry, and its inhumane treatment of the poor. Not the Island's finest hour...

<BB<

I did start to read this the last time it was in PR, honest I did. But I didn't get much further than the shenanigans of the Three Wight Knights, and had nothing to say up to that point.

I'll try to read further this time, and hopefully say something useful.


Geggs

the accounts of cruelty are quite chilling,

I agree this is hard to read, but it's an extensive record that deserves its place in the Edited Guide.

Not many h2g2 links, <BB<. Allow me to suggest a few more?

Yellow = A42694671
Queen Victoria [1868] = A13915794
one shilling = A506350
Lord Tennyson = A87772882
potatoes = A18740522



"but instead were there to make profit for the workhouses's governors" = workhouses' governors
[is it Workhouse/s or workhouse/s? Governor/s or governor/s? You'll need to be consistent throughout the entry to save the sub-ed a lot of work]



"Two padded cells were provided for the insane, four more were later added in 1810." four more were added in 1810.



"The girl, however, would have her name written in the black book of shame and, along with all other unmarried mothers, would be forced to be housed in a block apart from the rest of the inmates, wear a coarse yellow coat marking her as a disgraced fallen women, and not be allowed to eat meat." "forced to be housed" sounds wrong. Do you mean "would be housed in a block apart [...] *forced to* wear a coarse yellow coat..."?



"In order to keep the costs of the workhouse down, it was standard practice for the workhouse to have insufficient, overworked, untrained staff." no need to have "workhouse" twice there. *In order to keep costs down, it was standard practice for the workhouse to have insufficient, overworked, untrained staff.*



"The clothes worn by workhouse inmates were made in the workhouse of coarse, hard-wearing fabrics that stigmatised the wearer as being from the workhouse." by this time my eyes were bleeding from reading the word "workhouse" too many times. *The clothes worn by the inmates were made by themselves. They were coarse, hard-wearing fabrics that stigmatised the wearer.* etc. Can I suggest you go through your sentences and remove as many workhouse references as possible? It will make this entry so much easier to read



"As all parishioners with incomes over £50 a year were compelled to have an apprentice or be charged a £10 fine, many apprentices were sent out to those who had no need for them, most apprentices became farmhands or domestic servants." can you split that? Suggest: As all parishioners with incomes over £50 a year were compelled to have an apprentice or be charged a £10 fine, many apprentices were sent out to those who had no need for them. Most apprentices became farmhands or domestic servants.



Where there are subheaders "1809 Menu" etc, could you centre them so they appear above the tables?



"The workhouse demanded this money to pay for the cost of her forced stay, and also demanded that the Post Office disclose all information about all savings accounts that workhouse inmates held. When the Post Office declined, saying it was against their policy to disclose account information without the account holder's permission, the workhouse was furious." the workhouse was furious... suggest you change that to "Governors [Stewards] were furious" (i.e. those in charge of the workhouse)



"Mary Cooper entrusted her mute 23 year old son Edward Cooper, also known as Edwin, to the Workhouse on the 26th February 1877 when she was assured that he would be cared for and well looked after. A month later he was dead. When Edward's brother in law,"
here you have "Workhouse" yet it's mostly spelt lower case throughout the entry.
on the 26th February 1877 = on 26 February, 1877,
brother in law = brother-in-law



"asked Colonel Atherly for advise" advise = advice



"who recommended he contact a surgeon from Ryde Mr Barrow." = who recommended he contact a surgeon from Ryde, a Mr Barrow. (?)



Footnote 4: "The pest-house was demolished in 1952, when it had been used as a carpenters" doesn't make sense.



Footnote 5: "Although at times of serious infection a 'hospital ship' was kept offshore near Cowes, were those infected with Smallpox or Cholera could be kept isolated at sea" = *where* those infected... and you have capitalised Smallpox and Cholera when they don't need to be.



Footnote 8: "An Isle of Wight term for illegitimate children, especially whose mothers were prostitutes." = especially *those* whose mothers...



Footnote 9: "toilet" (I think you can fix that footnote yourself)

GB

I meant to query why the title of the article "The Isle of Wight House of Industry" is different to the PR thread.

All suggested changes made and links added.
I've gone through and ensured that 'workhouse' has a lower case W except when referring to the Workhouse Governors or Guardians, as they are an appointed title.
The title of the article is different to the PR thread because when I first placed this entry in Peer Review, after a couple of weeks no-one had commented on it. I thought I'd experiment and see whether submitting the article again under a different title would generate more interest. (I suspect that if I submitted articles not using the name 'Bluebottle' I'd generate a lot more input from everyone who thinks, 'Oh no, not BB again!' )
The number of workhouses reduced from 124 to 89.
That only leaves the question, why do I always have to fix the toilet?

<BB<

Well a particurley fine bog cleaner comes in a blue bottle...

I do think the title "Workhouse! Paupers and Idiots in the Grubber" works better. It screams "Read me!" but it's up to you, of course.

I'd agree with GB about the title.

Well done, this is a good piece of research. It's dauntingly long, unfortunately. I wish there were some way to break up your story into parts. My reasoning is: it's good, and it's something everybody should read. The average reader is not going to make it all the way through, though.

I've changed the name back.

I agree that the average reader won't read it all, but I didn't want to leave anything out.

<BB<

Wll it make 2 entries on a rise and decline basis

It's a good suggestion, but I'm not sure that there's a natural dividing point in this entry.

<BB<

Maybe the 1832 poor law reform it will take a bit of work though

It's possible to divide the entry around the 1832 Great Reform Act / 1834 Poor Law Amendment Act point, however that would still result in the first entry being very lengthy and the second entry, to make it read-worthy for those who haven't read the first one, would have to duplicate a lot of what the first article said.

It is doable, but I confess I'm not convinced it's desirable for this entry (mainly as it would involve a lot of work on my part). What do other people think? Do you feel this article would work better if divided into two?

<BB<

I think its fine as is dont change it unless you have to. My ideas were only if you (and the opinion here)thought that you should.

Yes its a long read and you have to take time to read it properley, however you dont read this type of entry unless you have the time.

Your Guide Entry has just been picked from Peer Review by one of our Scouts, and is now heading off into the Editorial Process, which ends with publication in the Edited Guide. We've moved this Review Conversation out of Peer Review and to the entry itself.

If you'd like to know what happens now, check out the page on 'What Happens after your Entry has been Recommended?' at EditedGuide-Process. We hope this explains everything.

Thanks for contributing to the Edited Guide!

Well done!!


lil x