h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: Adnams: Spirit of Broadside - A87766221
Author: Pastey: In Bacchus we trust - U45177

Requested review from a follower of the h2g2 Guide account on Twitter.

Yes, any excuse to try some drink.

I have to get me a bottle of this Spirit made from beer... heaven... And Broadside is one of my favorite pints (I was born not too many miles from the Adnams brewery, so it was the main beer all the pubs locally had).
Also, I'd never known the explination and history of Broadside's name
OH, and the entry looked fine too I think on a first read damnit I want a pint now...

Thank you for submitting this here Pastey.

There are a few suggestions, if I may make them. It will help quicken the process, ( they are minor bits of polishing).

Unboxing this is akin to unboxing a new mobile phone. It seems that as much care and attention has been given to the first sight of this as has been given to any Apple product.

repetition of 'this'

I think you could alter the second 'this' to [the Adnams Spirit]

eg ...has been given to the first sight of the Adnams Spirit as...

to any Apple product. If not more, after all,

you may have meant this as a stylistic way of punctuating your sentences, but I'd prefer

to any Apple product, if not more. After all,...

well presented, but well constructed

I'd like a second opinion on whether one or both of these should be hyphenated.

lasted from early morning until late night

> late [at] night

4000 men > 4,000 men

To commemorate the battle three hundred years later, in 1972 the Adnams brewery in Southwold, Suffolk produced a beer called Broadside.

> In 1972, to commemorate the battle three hundred years earlier, the Adnams brewery in Southwold, Suffolk produced a beer called Broadside.

new paragraph

Over the years Adnams has gone from strength to...

Adnams realised that with their flagship beer Broadside they had a very good base for a Bierbrand, and decided to give it a go to break from the standard range of spirits and celebrate 340 years since the battle of Sole Bay.

> Can you break this long sentence into two, such as...

Adnams realized their flagship beer Broadside would make a very good base for a Bierbrand. The Spirit of Broadside represents a break from the standard range of spirits and celebrates 340 years since the battle of Sole Bay.


custom built > custom-built

whisky style > whisky-style

The overall response to this drink was very impressed.

> The overall response to this drink was "Very impressed!"

and warmly like a brandy > and warmed, like a brandy

the warming of a good brandy > the warmth of a good brandy (?)


These sorts of nitpicks could be attended to by a sub-editor, but it will help things along if you're able to fix them now, while here in PR.

Many thanks! I'll be expecting a tip, at the very least

I'll buy you a glass of wine when next I see you

Apparently, with the hyphenation:

You can say: The packaging is well presented and well constructed
or: It was well-presented and well-constructed packaging

The difference being "If the words that make up the compound adjectives follow the words they modify, they are no longer compound adjectives and no hyphens are used" from "Write Right!" by Jan Venolia, not Dmitri

Thanks for that, I'd favour leaving out the hyphens then, as too many hyphenated words in the same sentence looks a bit cluttered on the eye.

Amends made

Gosh that was quick! You're an example to us all.

I have the advantage(?) of a fully qualified proof reader sat next to me tutting at my mistakes to spur me on!

I like the sub-ed style notes in the Peer Review thread though, it'll help me next time

We've added a new paragraph comparing it to some whiskies, purely for research purposes.

Pastey,

It would help the sub-eds if you could add a few more links to this please.

And send them all samples...

I did put some links in, but couldn't find any other appropriate ones I'm afraid.

Jack Daniels A794379

Not got time to search for any more - but if you're satisfied this is the optimum number, you're the boss.

Ah yes, I added to it since I did the check for links

Ooops.

Here's another suggestion or two:

Anglo-Dutch War ---> A11689239 [The History of the Royal Navy - Part 2 (1660 - 1815)] All about the war.

Wine ---> A16133320 [How To Order Wine] Rich's Entry - good read, non patronising stuff.

Mead ---> A216550

caramel and butterscotch ---> A776081 [Super Creamy Butter Toffee] - nice recipe

Tequila ---> A220348

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