h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: North Carolina, USA: The Southern Belle - A87764629
Author: Ramya Krishna Mulugu - U14997053

I would like to submit my Entry on North Carolina to Peer review. It currently conforms to all guidelines, and since it is an American topic, it is written in American English. Hope you like it!

Welcome to PR!

Between you and Shagbark, you may someday get all the US states covered in the Guide. I suspect the sentence that's going to bother UK readers most is 'The shag is the state dance of Carolina...' Although this is true, and entertaining.

A few questions:

1. >>Subsequently, King Charles 1 founded 2 colonies off of the Albemarle, and named it Carolina after himself.<<

It might be a good idea to explain that Carolina Colony was one colony at first, which was later divided into North and South Carolina. (Like Gaul, only with 2 parts...)

2. >>When Lincoln declared war against its sister state of South Carolina, it became the last state to rejoin the Confederates. Even then, they refused to support it, choosing to remain neutral.<<

I've got a couple of problems with that. One, the question of whether the US ever declared war on the Confederacy is, er, fraught, particularly as the US never recognised the existence of the government in Richmond, so they didn't really declare war on it. And Presidents can't declare war, they can only ask Congress to do it. Two, there were an awful lot of North Carolina regiments in the Confederate Army for the state to be considered 'neutral'.

3. >>The airplane was invented by the Wright Brothers (Orville and Wilbur) on December 17, 1903.<<

It's not clear from the text why the invention of the airplane has anything to do with North Carolina. You might explain where Kitty Hawk is, and what happened there.

4. >>A major road building initiative was also carried out in the 1920s, when the automobile was invented.<<

This makes it sound like the automobile was invented in the 1920s. How about rewording it?

5. For the title: could we maybe lose the 'southern belle', with its unfortunate connotations, and call it the Tarheel State? Or make a pun about 'Carolina on our minds'? Or, well, anything without the hoop skirts in it?

Oh, and somebody's sure to point out that you need a footnote to translate 'Esse quam videre' into English. (Trust me on this one.)

Welcome to Peer Review Ramya



As I know nothing at all about anything American, least of all American states, I excuse myself from criticism here, especially since I see Dmitri has carefully read the text.

I'll come back to see how you're getting along, but from a preliminary reading of the entry, you seem to have got the hang of h2g2 pretty well indeed!

Very glad to have your contribution.

>Geography:
You mention cities in the Mountains and Coastal Plain, but omit them in the Piedmont, I was looking for another mention of Charlotte, and maybe Raleigh? Just because you have already said the name does not exclude it from further explanation. I would also have liked to see a mention of Cherokee in the mountain section, as it is a unique community.

>North Carolina was earlier inhabited by the indigenous people, including the Mississippi Indians and Cherokee.

While the Cherokee are a specific tribe, Mississippi is more of a culture that ranged throughout the south eastern US long before European contact. It is a little misleading to place the two terms side by side.

I would very much like to read a bit about how, when and why the Carolinas were split into two separate colonies.

>During the Civil War, North Carolina was reluctant to join the Confederacy. When Lincoln declared war against its sister state of South Carolina, it became the last state to rejoin the Confederates. Even then, they refused to support it, choosing to remain neutral.

It would be more correct to state that when South Carolina Seceded from the Union, North Carolina was reluctant to follow. She was actually the second last state to secede, on May 20, 1861, she was followed by Tennessee on June 8, 1861.

Although officially a state in rebellion, eight regiments from North Carolina entered union service- 4 White and 4 African American.


>Local Attractions

I was really hoping to read something here about Research Triangle Park. I have supplied products there, but I don't really know much about it, again once you tease us about something it is only fair to expand later.


Thank you for contributing and please don't take any of my comments as being negative. We are all trying to improve the guide in our own way.


FS

Thank you all, for your helpful comments! Dimitri, I've corrected the mistakes you caught, thanks for your meticulous reding. Florida Sailor, I didn't put it in the local attractions, because it encompasses three cities, however I placed it in the Geography. I will definetly post on Create! tomorrow, thanks for the invite Lanza!

How silly of me to forget RTP—especially when I live there!

A very good, enjoyable article.
I did have a couple of questions. Shortly after mentioning King Charles I you write about the Civil War. I assume you mean the American Civil War, but coming so soon, and in the same paragraph, after the mention of King Charles I it could easily be interpreted to mean the English Civil War. Perhaps you could clarify which Civil War you mean? Or put the Civil War in a separate paragraph to make it obvious that the Civil War section is not connected with the mention of Charles I?

I only spotted a couple of minor spelling errors:
You also wrote 'in the the metropolitan' – an extra the.
Conderacy – presumably Confederacy

Is it American English to write 'Elizabeth 1' and 'Charles 1' rather than 'Elizabeth I' and 'Charles I'? I'm not sure that it looks right, but can stand corrected...

<BB<

Maybe I should put an l for that 1... didn't look right to me either. Which paragraph did you find 'the the metropolitan'?

The one beginning 'The aircraft was invented...'

<BB<

I did the edits...anything else?
Hope it's good

You still need to change the part about the automobile. It wasn't invented in the 1920s.

Finally edited everything!

I like the switch to 'popularized'.

Looks good to me. What I like is that you've conveyed enormous enthusiasm for the place.

I live there and was born there too! Possibly my favorite state.

I don't know anything of North Carolina, but this looks good - interesting, informative and written in a lively style.

I did wonder about the paragraphs describing the mountains. I put a sentence into Google, and got a reference to www.hikewnc.info
Did you borrow some of this? Obviously, you may want to draw on guide books etc, but you need to express the information in your own words.

In the section on Historical Insight, the reference to North Carolina as 'a pillar of contradictions' struck me as a bit odd. 'A morass of contradictions' sounds more likely.

How dare you call North Carolina a morass, MVP?

Okay, okay, it's the state that gave the world the word 'bunkum', but really...

Sorry, Dmitri! I didn't intend any disrespect to the good state of North Carolina.

It's just the image of a 'pillar of contradictions' that got me. I'm sure such a pillar would fall down!

You're right, of course. That shouldn't be there.

What can we call a mass of contradictions?

I actually wrote the mountain paragraph in my own words, but I can change it . I can change the pillar...but I mean, it's so literary! You sure?

Yeah, I'd advise changing 'pillar' to something else.