A Conversation for Volleyball

Peer Review: A87762874 - Volleyball

Post 1

Nosebagbadger {Ace}

Entry: Volleyball - A87762874
Author: Nosebagbadger {Ace} - U14077177

Ok 2nd attempt (My system just crashed my original submission)

OK, this will be a long entry post. This entry is a normal FM rescue. The original poster is
Bright Blue Shorts: U116149

Orginal Entry: A503317

There were however two other entries being written at the same time, both linked to in the original entry. They were not however placed in FM. After discussion it was agreed that i could take these and treat them as FM rescues.

I have tried to make each entry as independent as possible, but there is a high level of interconnectivity - help would be very useful.

About 30% of this specific entry is my work, with notable parts rewritten but very similar. I've also done things like links etc

Apologies for lengthy introit

When you get another free hour please look through the entry
Nbb


A87762874 - Volleyball

Post 2

Lanzababy - Guide Editor

Good work nosebagbadger - this is an extraordinary find in the Flea Market, and the two accompanying pieces most definitely should go through the system and become 'Approved' for the Guide.

You've presented these well, and on first reading these seem coherent. I think there may be some room for a bit of rejigging in places, eg the Librero explanation wasn't clear just by reading this first Entry, but became clearer when reading the other two pieces. I'd suggest you take the explanation just to one place, and refer to it briefly in the other two.

I need to come back and read the whole thing carefully in the morning. In the meantime you've got a few typos which you could alter in this sentence
>>> "coat hanger" shoulders from which there shirts and are just seem to hang.

smiley - biro we don't use double quotes in the EG, as apparently they don't always show up correctly in all browsers.
smiley - biro it should be [their] shirts
smiley - biro remove the superflous [and are]

Rather than nitpick though, I'd like to see some of the repetition discarded, and a bit of tightening up of structure and you'll be home and dry.


Thanks for submitting this smiley - biggrin


A87762874 - Volleyball

Post 3

Bluebottle

I'm very glad to see this one rescued from the Flea Market – an enjoyable read even for someone as unsporty as me.smiley - ok

I'd delete the first line containing only the word 'volleyball' as otherwise, with the title, it reads,

Volleyball
Volleyball
Volleyball is a sport....

(Almost as much superfluous repetition as found in my articles smiley - winkeye)

In the Who Plays Volleyball, measurements are in both feet and metres, which I found a bit confusing. Perhaps mention both measurements?

You could also link to: A375473 The Olympic Games where appropriate.

Nicely done!

<BB<


A87762874 - Volleyball

Post 4

Nosebagbadger {Ace}

BB
I've deleted the Volleyball header. I've added an Olympics link at the top, so as not to delay it to the end. I've given references in the "who plays volleyball" to height in both metric and imperial. I use brackets, if someone has a better way of doing it, please demonstrate it, as it could be untidy, i don't know.

Lanza
Not yet done the Libero rephrasing, will do when i get the chance
I have done coat hanger corrections

I put in my duplication deliberately giving quite a lot. It will take me a while to decide which bits should be removed to make it still coherent.


A87762874 - Volleyball

Post 5

Gnomon - time to move on

We can treat these three entries as a "mini-project" - they can all be peer reviewed at the same time and picked together. We'll have to do a little bit of juggling to get the links on them all to point to each other, as when they're picked, copies get made of them and it is the copies that will become the Approved Entries. Not a problem - I can do that before they're given out to a sub-editor.

In the meantime, can you change the link in this one so that it points to the version of Volleyball Definitions that is in Peer Review rather than the Bright Blue Shorts original?

Thanks.


A87762874 - Volleyball

Post 6

Nosebagbadger {Ace}

Have done so Gnomon


A87762874 - Volleyball

Post 7

Lanzababy - Guide Editor

Hi nbb

I just wonder exactly what

smiley - biro exchange 'low-fives' with the opponents

actually is? Would you pop in a footnote for the bewildered, like me smiley - biggrin please?


And, just to check - are we all done with these Volleyball Entries? I don't want them to hang about getting stale.


A87762874 - Volleyball

Post 8

U168592

They look pretty good to me smiley - winkeye


A87762874 - Volleyball

Post 9

You can call me TC

Looks good to me - especially at it shows how easy it is to improvise a game. Can you tag the little list of subjects at the beginning à la Wiki?

One odd express that should probably edited a bit: "Even at the heightest levels"


A87762874 - Volleyball

Post 10

You can call me TC

ion


A87762874 - Volleyball

Post 11

Nosebagbadger {Ace}

Low five is (as I've always called it) a high five lowered to hip height - used in volleyball because of the net

Will be hindered from doing other comments and pic since I'm down south(away from convenient computer access) for a few Olympics events in the next week or two


A87762874 - Volleyball

Post 12

Lanzababy - Guide Editor

Well - do have fun! We'll miss you, but we ask you to take your camera with you please.


A87762874 - Volleyball

Post 13

Nosebagbadger {Ace}

Well I'm off this week to Badminton and rowing - we have photos for neither

I won't be taking the photos but I can guarantee several hundred photos by my photo-mad family

I'll try and extract a couple of good ones without screaming relatives in them and suggest them (Going for the tri-fecta challenge if I manage it)

I also have the Greco-Roman wrestling next week, I can get photos but I'm not writing the entry, knowing nothing about the sport (like most people :D)


Congratulations - Your Entry has been Recommended for the Edited Guide!

Post 14

h2g2 auto-messages

Your Guide Entry has just been picked from Peer Review by one of our Scouts, and is now heading off into the Editorial Process, which ends with publication in the Edited Guide. We've moved this Review Conversation out of Peer Review and to the entry itself.

If you'd like to know what happens now, check out the page on 'What Happens after your Entry has been Recommended?' at EditedGuide-Process. We hope this explains everything.

Thanks for contributing to the Edited Guide!


Congratulations - Your Entry has been Recommended for the Edited Guide!

Post 15

U168592

Nice one smiley - ok


Congratulations - Your Entry has been Recommended for the Edited Guide!

Post 16

Nosebagbadger {Ace}

There are still a couple of spelling mistakes listed above, Subs

Please deal with them

Other than that

Woohoo!!! smiley - hug


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