h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Bob, if your entries were processed as a University Project, they should certainly have the badge on them.

The University is not dormant at the moment - it is very active.

Hi Bob

This is off topic here - but Gnomon is correct, if the entries were submitted and processed as Uni projects, they would have a badge.

Your first link is from 2007

I see the second of your links *is* a uni project

The third link is a single Entry? Please email me direct if you can explain further what you'd like to have clarified.



Lanzababy on behalf of the Guide Editors

Author - Bluebottle U43530
Subeditor - Tufty U566116

A87751975 - The Pink Panther Films
A87751984 - The Pink Panther
A87751993 - A Shot In The Dark
A87752000 - Inspector Clouseau
A87752019 - The Return of the Pink Panther
A87752028 - The Pink Panther Strikes Again
A87752037 - Revenge of the Pink Panther
A87752046 - Trail of the Pink Panther
A87752055 - Curse of the Pink Panther
A87752064 - Son of the Pink Panther

The Uni badges have been applied
Table of links removed, replaced with ordinary links

GB/Guide Editor

Thanks GB.

<BB<

I'll have a read through these entries if you like. On a quick glance at the first one I can see a few things I could suggest, so I'll get back to you with a detailed list.

You know how I love your detailed lists - so I'm looking forward to it.

<BB<

I didn't look at any of these entries at the time this was put into Peer Review as I was in the middle of sub-editing another project. I've a little more time now.

Here's the first entry:

A87751975 The Pink Panther Films

The Pink Panther film series are one of the most successful comedy series of all time -->
The Pink Panther film series is one of the most successful comedy series of all time

with 11 films made to date -- you could leave out the word "made" here

between 1963-2009 --> between 1963 and 2009

(the dash means "to". You can't say "between 1963 to 2009").

"It is later revealed that his affair with Maria Gambrelli produced twins." -- this sentence should be reworded. Firstly, it starts with "It is later revealed" but comes in a section which is describing general characteristics of Clouseau so there's not time to be later than. Secondly, this is the first time that the affair or Maria Gambrelli have been mentioned - yet it is phrased as if we have already heard about them.

All quotations should be in italics or surrounded by quotation marks, but not both. For block quotes, I think italics are more appropriate, while short quotations in the middle of sentences probably suit quotation mark better.

often provoking a twitching eyelid. He often attempts to kill Clouseau -- reword this to prevent "often" appearing twice close together.

"Although he is accidentally disintegrated, this and his frequent bouts of murderous madness do not prevent him from returning to his job in the police force with full pay and benefits" -- I'm puzzled. Do you mean that he is killed, but returns from the dead? Or that his death in one film is ignored in the next?

a museum to Inspector Clouseau's memories --> a museum to Inspector Clouseau's memory

no-one --> no one

Entertainmaints -- is this spelled right?

"after The Pink Panther his 'Golden Boy' image began to fade after he made costly films such as The Great Race and Darling Lili." -- this doesn't really work with two "after" sections.

The Bio of Burt Kwouk has too many alsos.

between 2002-2010 --> between 2002 and 2010

perhaps in an attempt trying to unsuccessfully prove -- this is clumsy. How about:

perhaps in an unsuccessful attempt to prove

The Bio of Blake Edwards says "Blake Edwards" too often. It should be reduced to Edwards in most cases.

Enrico 'Henry' Mancini began composing music for Universal Pictures in the early 1950s, composing music for films such as...

Reword to get rid of the repetition of "composing music".

"Tragically, Blake Edwards' wife Julie Andrews beat The Pink Panther with Mary Poppins" -- I don't think the word "tragically" is appropriate here. Nobody died.

In 2005 the American Film Institute would later list this -- remove the word "later"

Henry Mancini would later receive another Oscar nomination for his song for The Pink Panther Strikes Again, 'Come To Me' sung by Tom Jones with lyrics by Don Black, in 1977

Since this comes after the line about 2005, it is out of place. You'll have to change things around here slightly.

The Pink Panther's theme would later be used... This use of "later" grates, coming immediately after the other later, but it may be ok depending on how you reworded the previous section.

"He was also nominated for 72 Grammys, winning 20, won a Golden Globe Award and was nominated for two Emmys" -- the grammar of this is clumsy. Perhaps break it up into more than one sentence.

silent screen star Stan Laurel -- Laurel is really more famous for his "talkie" films with Oliver Hardy than for his silent roles. Think of some other phrase to describe him.

"that he re-write the script to adapt it to include Inspector Clouseau" -- you don't need both re-write and adapt here. If you stick with re-write, you don't need a hyphen in it.

In the section "A Shot in the Dark", both Sellers and Edwards can be referred to by their surnames.

both went their separate ways, -- remove the word "both" and change the comma to a semicolon

With The Pink Panther and A Shot in the Dark smash hits -- you hadn't told us up to now that they were smash hits, so this would be an appropriate place to mention it. You could say "Both The Pink Panther and A Shot in the Dark were smash hits".

neither Peter Sellers nor Blake Edwards were prepared to talk to the other -->
Sellers and Edwards were not prepared to talk to each other

"No other character or actor from the Pink Panther series would appear in that film, although it would be the first time that brothers Tom and Frank Waldman wrote a Pink Panther script." -- the second half of this sentence is not related to the first half, so it should not be joined to it with the word "although".

when he heard that the film was going ahead without him anyway -- remove the word "anyway" as it is out of place.

"The Mirisch Corporation rejected his offer, and 1968's Inspector Clouseau was a commercial and critical disaster." -- you need to pad this out to make it more explanatory:

The Mirisch Corporation rejected his offer, filming went ahead, and 1968's Inspector Clouseau was a commercial and critical disaster.

"Peter Sellers' character is accident-prone, not unlike Inspector Clouseau. Unlike _Inspector Clouseau_, The Party was a success" -- this will have to be reworded, as it is too confusing to refer to the character and the film together when they both have the same name. The only distinguishing feature is the italics. You could perhaps say "not unlike the character Inspector Clouseau. Unlike the film of that name, the Party was a succcess".

however the Mirisch Corporation were convinced -- you've used however to join two sentences together, which is not its function. Change however to "but", or reword.

The first paragraph of "The Pink Panther Strikes Again" section has "The Return of the Pink Panther" in only three sentences. Reword this section to avoid repetition.

deleting out entire sequences, such as -- remove the word "out" and the comma.



Throughout the entire entry there is far too much repetition of the name of Peter Sellers in full. To make it readable these references must be reduced, by calling him Sellers, by finding other ways to refer to him or by rewording to leave his name out.

unless Blake Edwards was involved, with whom he had worked on 10 -- this sounds clumsy because the phrase describing Edwards is not immediately after his name. Reword it as:

unless Blake Edwards, with whom he had worked on 10, was involved.

the scenes that had been deleted out of The Pink Panther Strikes Again were deleted as... avoid the repetition of "deleted"

Despite this nepotism, -- this is the wrong word. Nepotism is a crime where a person is unfairly given a job just because they are related to someone. I don't think we need to accuse these people of criminal activities here.

"It was the last film that both Blake Edwards and composer Henry Mancini made." -- composers don't make films. Reword this.

"for the 40th anniversary of The Pink Panther's release in March 2004" -- this sounds as if the original film was released in 2004. Move "in March 2004" to before "for the 40th anniversary".

advertising the first film, however Blake Edwards approached animation studio -- once again you've used howver to join to sentences together.

The Pink Panther character was originally intended -- since this is the first time you've mentined the Pink Panther character, it's worth pointing out that he is a cartoon panther who is pink.

The first of which, The Pink Phink, won the 1964 Best Animated Short Film Oscar. -- this isn't a sentence because there's no verb. Put one in, rather than joining it to the previous sentence and making that far too long.

Between 1993-1995 --> Between 1993 and 1995

controversially regularly -- these two words don't go well together. You could probably leave out "regularly".

Footnotes:
between 1958-1992 --> between 1958 and 1992

An American director famous for directing -- avoid repition of "director/directing".

SPECTRE was the foe against whom James Bond battled -- change whom to which

James Bond battled in many early 1960s James Bond films -->
James Bond battled in many early 1960s films

he is perhaps best known for being General Chang -- the Sound of Music was one of the most successful films ever made. Everybody saw it. So I think Plummer would be far better known for his role in that film.

disolved --> dissolved

"or in German, zimmer." -- this explanatory footnote is not explanatory at all. I've no reason why you've put it there.

OK, that's all I got on a first reading of the first entry. It should certainly be checked again after any changes have been made.

Thanks for your very thorough comments, Gnomon.

A87751975 The Pink Panther Films
I think most changes are self-explanatory for Tufty (but should he have any questions, I'm happy to answer them.


"It is later revealed that his affair with Maria Gambrelli produced twins."
This can be changed to 'his affair with Maria Gambrelli produced twins, Jacques and Jacqueline Gambrelli.

often provoking a twitching eyelid. He often attempts to kill Clouseau
I think we can eliminate the first often.

"Although he is accidentally disintegrated, this and his frequent bouts of murderous madness do not prevent him from returning to his job in the police force with full pay and benefits"
His death in 'The Pink Panther Strikes Again' is ignored in all subsequent films. Maybe have:
"Although he is accidentally disintegrated, his death and frequent bouts of murderous madness do not prevent him from returning to his job in the police force with full pay and benefits"

"after The Pink Panther his 'Golden Boy' image began to fade after he made costly films such as The Great Race and Darling Lili." – change to: "after The Pink Panther his 'Golden Boy' image began to fade following costly film flops such as The Great Race and Darling Lili."

Reword to get rid of the repetition of "composing music".
Enrico 'Henry' Mancini began composing music for Universal Pictures in the early 1950s for films such as...

Henry Mancini would later receive another Oscar nomination for his song for The Pink Panther Strikes Again, 'Come To Me' sung by Tom Jones with lyrics by Don Black, in 1977. Since this comes after the line about 2005, it is out of place. You'll have to change things around here slightly.
I think we should move the 'In 2005 the American Film Institute listed The Pink Panther as having the 20th greatest film score of all time.' to the end of the Mancini section.

"He was also nominated for 72 Grammys, winning 20. He also won a Golden Globe Award and was nominated for two Emmys"

silent screen star Stan Laurel -- Laurel is really more famous for his "talkie" films with Oliver Hardy than for his silent roles. Think of some other phrase to describe him. – Delete 'silent'

"that he rewrite the script to include Inspector Clouseau"

With The Pink Panther and A Shot in the Dark smash hits -- you hadn't told us up to now that they were smash hits, so this would be an appropriate place to mention it. You could say "Both The Pink Panther and A Shot in the Dark were smash hits".

neither Peter Sellers nor Blake Edwards were prepared to talk to the other -->
Sellers and Edwards were not prepared to talk to each other

"The Mirisch Corporation rejected his offer, and 1968's Inspector Clouseau was a commercial and critical disaster." -- you need to pad this out to make it more explanatory:


Through 1966 Peter Sellers was heavily involved in the flop that was Casino Royale, which seriously damaged his reputation as a star at a time when his health problems led him to be considered an insurance risk by Hollywood studios. The Mirisch Corporation decided to make a Pink Panther sequel without either Sellers or Edwards, hiring director Bud Yorkin. Brothers Tom and Frank Waldman were the writers, they would later write the scripts for the following three Pink Panther films.
With the exception of the title character, no character or actor from the Pink Panther series would appear in that film. Hearing it would be made without him, Sellers contacted the Mirisch Corporation expressing a willingness to make the film provided he approved the script. The Mirisch Corporation rejected his offer and continued with filming without Sellers, replacing him with Alan Arkin. 1968's Inspector Clouseau was a commercial and critical disaster.

"or in German, zimmer." -- this explanatory footnote is not explanatory at all. I've no reason why you've put it there.
This is because of a sequence in The Pink Panther Strikes Again, in which Clouseau asks for a 'rheum' in a hotel, and the receptionist cannot understand him until eventually Clouseau asks for a zimmer, to which the receptionist replies, 'Oh, a room!'
You're right, unless you know the context it is meaningless and can be deleted.

<BB<

A87751984 The Pink Panther

Lloyds of London --> Lloyd's of London and add link to A392799

In the Peter Sellers biography, you tell us twice that he was inspired by Stan Laurel. As in the Overview, you say "silent screen star Stan Laurel" when in fact Laurel is much more famous for his speaking parts in Laurel and Hardy.

Header: The Making Of The Pink Panther - lowercase o on of

Breakfast At Tiffany's -- lowercase a on at

on Breakfast At Tiffany's, however she was unavailable -- however used as a conjunction. Change it to "but".

Ava Gardner was the first choice to be Simone Clouseau, however she demanded her own villa -- however used as a conjunction. Reword to two separate sentences or two sentences joined by a semicolon.

Second choice was Psycho's Janet Leigh, however she turned down the offer because -- however used as a conjunction. Use semicolon, and move "however" to after "offer".

The French actress's name is given as Capucine in one place and Capacine in another.

pulled out pulled out shortly

This burned both the stars' skin, especially Robert Wagner, who was submerged beneath the bubbles, hiding from Clouseau, becoming temporarily blinded. -- this is clumsy and should be reworded. Did it burn Wagner's skin more than Capacine's? Or did you mean that it burned the skin of both stars and in addition, Wagner who had to hide beneath the foam was temporarily blinded?

in February 1964 in the UK and one month later, in March, in America. -- remove "in March". We can work that one out.

Enrico 'Henry' Mancini was a highly experienced composer, having composed -- avoid repetition of "compose"

Macini --> Mancini

Days of Wine and Roses, in 1964 -- this should be two sentences.

I think you could do without the footnote about Dick Van Dyke's accent. It's not really anything to do with this Entry.

In 2005 the American Film Institute would later list this as the 20th greatest film score of all time. -- no need for "later" in this.

The Pink Panther's theme would later be used -- this occurs just after the sentence about 2005 but is referring to the 1970s so "later" is not correct.

"The other unexpected star of the series is the feline pink panther" - I don't understand this. You haven't explained about any animated character. I'm familiar with the animated character from the cartoons, but did he appear in the film? How was he integrated with the live action? Or was he just during the titles? .... Ah I see, you do explain it later, but it is still mysterious the first time. You could reword to avoid this.

cut quick and fast, however as soon as the audience -- however used as a conjunction

as soon as the audience is beginning to feel breathless the pace soon slows down -- remove the second "soon".

in the same scene as seen opening after the opening credits - no idea what this means

"Those in this film include:" - this phrase should be followed by a list of things included. Instead we get full sentences, so it reads:

"Those in this film include Simone Clouseau is the first to use a disguise" - this sounds really bad. Instead, leave out the phrase "Those in this film include" and put the colon after "disguises".

He also uses a limp --> He also limps or He also affects a limp

a man at a party in a suit of armour --> a man in a suit of armour at a party

A87751984 The Pink Panther

Again, I'm happy to answer any queries Tufty may have, but will only answer for now ones I think aren't straight forward.

The French actress's name is given as Capucine in one place and Capacine in another.
- Should be Capucine (one a and a u)

This burned both the stars' skin, especially Robert Wagner, who was submerged beneath the bubbles, hiding from Clouseau, becoming temporarily blinded. -- this is clumsy.
This burned the skin of both stars and in addition, Wagner who had to hide beneath the foam was temporarily blinded?

'The other unexpected star of the series is the feline pink panther seen in the opening credits'

in the same scene as seen opening after the opening credits - no idea what this means
Does this explain it better?
At the very end of the film, the Pink Panther directs Rome's traffic. This is the same traffic seen in the film's first scene after the opening credits, but 'The End' is spelt 'Thend', causing a crash.

<BB<

Here's a full nitpick of the third entry in this Project. Remember, folks, this style of detailed review is not appropriate for normal entries in Peer Review, which should concentrate on content, not spelling and grammar. It's appropriate here because the entry is part of a Project and has already been sub-edited, so unless these things are pointed out, they won't be changed.

A87752000 'Inspector Clouseau' - The Film

Quotations should have italics or quote signs around them, but not both. For blockquotes, I feel that italics are more appropriate, so please remove the quote signs around all the blockquote at the start and the Blake Edwards quote in the middle.

"Seduced by women in skimpy underwear, however, the villains are able to take a plaster-cast of Clouseau's face" -- when you have an introductory clause like this "Seduced by women in skimpy underwear", it should refer to the things that comes after it. In this case, it is the villains, which doesn't make sense. Reword this so that it is Clouseau who is seduced rather than the villains.

hitch a ride with the villain's aquatic car --> hitch a ride in the villain's aquatic car

Superintendant Weaver --> Superintendent Weaver

It seems odd to say:

"Characters and actors in bold returned to appear in other films in the series"

and then to say that no characters other than Clouseau himself appear in any other films. I know you want to keep the bold convention to match the other entries, and have to explain it. Reword the first statement, before the table:

"Clouseau himself, indicated in bold, is the only character in the film to feature in any of the other films in the series"

and remove the statement after the table. Once you've stated that no other character appears in any other film, you don't need to state that Charles Braithwaite does not appear in any other film, nor that Tucker from Lloyds of London does not reappear in any other film.

You should then reword the sentence about "alienation".

Tinker, Taylor, Soldier, Spy --> Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy

The Making Of Inspector Clouseau -- should be lowercase "of"

neither Peter Sellers nor Blake Edwards were prepared to talk to the other -- this is clumsy. Try:

"Peter Sellers and Blake Edwards refused to talk to each other"

Blake Edwards reputation --> Blake Edwards' reputation

On his recovery, Peter Sellers -- drop the "Peter" from this. You should not give his full name every time. This also applies to the many other occurrences of the name Peter Sellers.

Sellers gave a bitter interview in which he severely and scathingly criticised Hollywood, an interview which may have influenced the result of the 1965 Best Actor Oscar, which he did not win

-- reword this to remove the repetition of "interview" and the clumsy "which he did not win". Perhaps split it into two sentences.

director Bud Yorkin, a director who had television, but little film, experience

-- reword this to avoid the repetition of "director". The "television, but little film, experience" would be improved by the removal of the commas.

when he heard that the film was going ahead without him anyway -- remove "anyway"

the script made with his approval --> the script met with his approval

The paragraph starting "Curiously, before Inspector Clouseau..." has a lot of repetition, for example "not unlike Inspector Clouseau. Unlike Inspector Clouseau..." This sort of writing can be used for comic effect, but it doesn't across as funny here, just clumsy. Try splitting it into more sentences and using different words.

who was working on Blake Edwards' film The Party which starred Peter Sellers -- you've told us in the previous section that Sellers starred in this film, so you don't need to repeat it here.

the music is by Ken Thorne, a composer who had won an Oscar -- since he wrote the music, he is a composer. You don't need to state "a composer who".

is shot at by Inspector --> is shot at by the Inspector

escapes in hot air balloon --> escapes in a hot air balloon

whilst shooting at Clouseau -- should this be "at the Inspector"? Is the Inspector character actually Clouseau?

however it is not a good one either -- add a comma after however

Overall, an uneven film. -- make this into a proper sentence: Overall, this is an uneven film.

Those in this film include:

The robbers disguise themselves

If you have an introductory half sentence like this, the bit that follows should complete the sentence. In this case you are following the half sentence with a full sentence so it sounds awkward. Also, you have a list with only one entry in it. It would be more appropriate just to say:

All films in the series feature disguises. In this film, the robbers disguise themselves as Clouseau in order to commit bank robberies.

"Clouseau's chase sequence with the hearse is reminiscent of Clouseau's getting stuck..." remove the duplication of Clouseau's name.

A87752000 'Inspector Clouseau' - The Film

Tufty should be able to make the minor corrections – any I feel that he might need a hand with I'll comment on. If he has any questions, he can feel free to ask!

Clouseau is seduced by women in skimpy underwear, allowing the villains to take a plaster-cast of his face and create Clouseau masks. They then rob all the major banks in Switzerland while leaving Clouseau to get the blame.

I think that if the other sentences are deleted as per Gnomon's suggestion, we could delete the 'alienation' sentence as the same point is made in the review.

Sellers gave a bitter interview in which he severely and scathingly criticised Hollywood. It is possible that this interview may have influenced the result of the 1965 Best Actor Oscar; nominated for 'Best Actor', Sellers did not win.

director Bud Yorkin had television but little film experience

The paragraph starting "Curiously, before Inspector Clouseau..." has a lot of repetition, for example "not unlike Inspector Clouseau. Unlike Inspector Clouseau..." This sort of writing can be used for comic effect, but it doesn't across as funny here, just clumsy. Try splitting it into more sentences and using different words.

Curiously, before Inspector Clouseau was released, Blake Edwards and Peter Sellers reconciled their differences. They collaborated on making slapstick comedy The Party, where Sellers' plays an accident-prone character similar to his portrayal of Clouseau. With music composed by Henry Mancini, The Party was a modest success. The Mirisch Corporation were convinced by Inspector Clouseau's failure at the box office that Clouseau's character had run its course. This was the last film the Mirisch Corporation made in the series.
In Animated section 'whilst shooting at Clouseau' - should be "at the Inspector"

<BB<

A87752019 'The Return of the Pink Panther' - the Film

Remove the quote symbols around blockquotes that are in italics.

no-one --> no one

Sharki himself is suspected by The Fat Man of having stolen the jewel himself -- too many himselfs. Remove the first one.

some of the characters names --> some of the characters' names

You say "Sir Charles Lytton is credited instead as 'Litton'" but everywhere in the Entry you list him as Lytton. What does this mean?

Blake Edwards friends --> Blake Edwards' friends

The Making Of Return of the Pink Panther -- lowercase "of"

Goeffrey Unsworth --> Geoffrey Unsworth

Night to Remember --> A Night to Remember

when he later compiled clip show Trail of the Pink Panther, however he was unable -- change "however" to "but" or reword as two sentences joined by semicolon, with comma after "however"; better still, move "however" to second place in the second sentence, after "unable".

You have $2million without a space and $100 million with a space. I think there should be a space in each.

is a gendarme with a moustache and mispronounces words -->
is a gendarme with a moustache who mispronounces words

At the start of the film, Clouseau is a gendarme... remove the phrase "at the start of the film", as you're not comparing something at the start with something later on. This is a comment about the whole film, not the start.

"As with The Pink Panther, 'The Pink Panther' theme is played as the Phantom theme, played at the start..." -- this is confusing, first because of the repetitions of "Pink Panther" and "played", and secondly because it doesn't really explain what it's trying to. Reword it as:

As in the first film, the theme that everyone associates with the Pink Panther was used to represent the Phantom jewel thief, rather than the Pink Panther diamond itself. It is played at the start...

Navel Maneuver -- can you check the spelling of Maneuver - this is the American spelling. Is that the way it was on the album?

in a hotel in the Alps by a ski resort --> in a hotel in the Alps in a ski resort, or in a hotel in the Alps near a ski resort

His first attack again ends -- I think you need to restate that Cato is under instruction to attack Clouseau unexpectedly in order to improve his self defence skills.

there is no denying that sometimes the old ones are the best and undeniably still work -- don't use "no denying" and "undeniably" in the same sentence. I suggest:

there is no denying that sometimes the old ones are the best and undoubtedly still work

were busy with making --> were busy making

the panther inside jewel --> the panther inside the jewel

"All films in the series feature disguises. Those in this film include:" -- remove the phrase "Those in this film include" as it doesn't match with the full sentences after it. Add a colon after "feature disguises".

A87752019 'The Return of the Pink Panther' - the Film

Again, I think that most of Gnomon's valued comments are straightforward – if you have any questions, Tufty, feel free to ask. The ones I think need a comment from me are below.

You say "Sir Charles Lytton is credited instead as 'Litton'" but everywhere in the Entry you list him as Lytton. What does this mean?

The character is known as Sir Charles Lytton in 'The Pink Panther', 'Trail of the Pink Panther' and 'Curse of the Pink Panther', but is called Sir Charles Litton only in 'The Retuirn of the Pink Panther', presumably merely a typo in the credits. To stay consistent, as 75% of the films he appears in he is called 'Lytton' rather than 'Litton', I have used Lytton.

At the start of the film, Clouseau is a gendarme... This is a comment about the whole film, not the start.
At the start he is a gendarme, having been demoted by Dreyfus, but is re-instated as an Inspector.

And yes, it is Navel Maneuver [sic], the American spelling, on the soundtrack. Possibly because Henry Mancini was American?

Thanks for continuing your very thorough read-through.

<BB<

A87752028 'The Pink Panther Strikes Again' - the Film

Remove quotation marks from blockquotes that are in italics.

by hijacking the world's television broadcast -->
by hijacking the world's television broadcasting network

and making the UN Building disappear --> and by making the UN Building disappear

falls in love with who she believes to be Clouseau -->
falls in love with the man she believes to be Clouseau

Superintendant Quinlan --> Superintendent Quinlan

The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy --> The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

was a friend of Blake Edwards' -- remove the apostrophe

Micheal Sellers --> Michael Sellers

in his biographer --> in his biography

The Making Of The Pink Panther Strikes Again -- lowercase "of"

The paragraph which starts "After the phenomenal success..." has only three sentences but manages to mention The Return of the Pink Panther four times in these. THat's too much repetition. I suggest you rewrite it as follows:

After the phenomenal success of The Return of the Pink Panther, United Artists quickly commissioned a sequel from its writer, Frank Waldman. In fact, Waldman already had a sequel in mind, which he had drafted when the earlier film was going to be a 26-episode-long television series. The new story follows on directly from the events at the end of the film.

deleting out entire sequences --> deleting entire sequences

$100,000,000 --> $100 million

Barbara Streisand --> Barbra Streisand

a new set of detectives to play the roles vacated by Dreyfus and François are introduced; -- change semicolon to colon.

Superintendent Quinlam --> Superintendent Quinlan

more and more like their French equivalents they are replacing -->
more and more like the French equivalents they are replacing

the Book of Homosexual Stereotypes for Dummies -- the "Dummies" publishers are very touchy about people parodying the titles of their books, so this would be best changed to something else.

a la Jaws --> à la Jaws

"Those in this film include:" -- once again, omit this phrase and put the colon at the end of the previous phrase.

Claude Deval -- can you check the spelling of this? I suspect it is "Duval", a common enough French name.

just as he had in A Shot in the Dark --> just as he did in A Shot in the Dark

Hi Gnomon - thanks for going through these. I've dealt with posts 27/28, though I'm quite worried as I recall making some of those corrections while sub-editing! I do wonder whether some of my work somehow became lost (my internet connection does sometimes drop off at inopportune moments). I also thought I had posted to say that the previous bout of corrections had been corrected, so apologies for that, too.

I shall have a look at the other posts above, now. Thanks again.

29/30 completed

A87752028 'The Pink Panther Strikes Again' - the Film

Again, most straight-forward queries I'm sure that Tufty can cope with – any questions, feel free to ask.

the Book of Homosexual Stereotypes for Dummies -- the "Dummies" publishers are very touchy about people parodying the titles of their books, so this would be best changed to something else.
How about something like:
The gay club 'Queen of Hearts' seems to be populated only by characters listed in the Book of Typecast Homosexual Stereotypes.

Claude Deval -- can you check the spelling of this? I suspect it is "Duval", a common enough French name.
You're right – just looked it up and it definitely is Duval and not Deval.

Looking forward to hearing what you make of 'Revenge of the Pink Panther'

<BB<

A87752037 'Revenge of the Pink Panther' - the Film

Quotations should have quote marks or italics but not both. Remove the quote marks from the first Clouseau/Cato conversation, and from all the blockquotes.

the deal, known as the 'Gannet Transaction' is due to go ahead -- remove the comma after deal

he has been arrested and sectioned -- perhaps a footnote explaining "sectioned" - I don't think it is a common word outside of the UK.

Golden Globe winning actress --> Golden-Globe-winning actress

as well as roles in Carry On films --> as well as for roles in Carry On films

who, as with fictional actor 'Turk Thrust', chose the names as they sounded a little rude. -- this seems to suggest that fictional actor Turk THrust also chose the names. I think it would be better if you just left out "as with fictional actor Turk Thrust".

The Making Of The Revenge of the Pink Panther -- lowercase 'of'

$100,000,000 --> $100 million

(the film made over $100,000,000, as had the last two Pink Panthers) -- you told us about three sentences before this that the previous film had made over 100 million. You could reword this as "(like its two predecessors, the film made over $100 milllion)"

Once again Henry Mancini composes the film's music. -- this should be in past tense, as everything else is.

had lyrics by Leslie Bricusse and sung by Lon Satton -->
had lyrics by Leslie Bricusse and was sung by Lon Satton

Revenge of the Pink Panther is a film which combines the formula of previous films -->
Revenge of the Pink Panther combines the formula of previous films

the series best car chase since The Pink Panther -->
the best car chase in the series since The Pink Panther

but have a twist on them --> but have a twist to them

Animated Credit Sequence --> Animated Credit Sequences

but is shot at by barrel with a yellow ribbon -- I think this should be "a barrel".

He brings in a (Dyan) Cannon (the name of the actress playing Simone)
-- I think this would be better as:
He brings in a cannon (remember, Dyan Cannon is the actress playing Simone)

the shadow of a mallet performed by the Panther -- how can a mallet be performed?

for writers' credits, when at the end...

-- remove the word "when" and split this into 2 sentences.

Disguises:
As before, remove the phrase "Those in this film include:"

bolongerie --> boulangerie

faints three times: When -- lowercase "when"

Remove the HR horizontal line at the end, as there is nothing after it.

A87752037 'Revenge of the Pink Panther' - the Film
Thanks again Gnomon for your comments. I think most are straightforward, apart from:

the shadow of a mallet performed by the Panther -- how can a mallet be performed?
The Panther uses his hands to cast a mallet-shaped shadow on a wall, and hits the Inspector with this.

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