h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: How to handle a new hobby. - A87734154
Author: Rosie - U14551270

hmmmm....
I've written this... but reckon it needs editing!

Suggestions and a spell check and help with the guide ML thing would be nice

Hi Rosie,

I can see you're following the pattern of your last entry. However, you're not talking about A New Hobby (how to stick with it, learn about it - generic advice), you're talking about Yoga. An Introduction to Yoga would be a good title. Also, try to break it up into a few sections, each with a heading. These changes will make it easier to scan over, and thus easier to review.

Tufty

Good work Rosie. Thaks for contributing again so fast

I agree with what Tufty said, but I do think keeping the pattern of the titles is also a good thing - but it would also be good to have Yoga in the title.

'How to handle Yoga as a new hobby?

there has to be a better one than this.

Ok....I agree...let me think....

Hi Rosie

That adjustment to the title is good, and will also help readers find what they are expecting to read about.

I like the content, it gives general good advice in a gently humorous way. As it's probably decades since I last attended any yoga class at all there is little I can add to the content in terms of additional suggestions.

Can you take a look at the second paragraph, which is all one long sentence. It may be easier to rewrite it rather than try and punctuate it into shorter sentences?


There are a few typos, for instance

loosing consciousness, or passing wind

---> losing consciousness or passing wind (sp losing and take out comma)


and feel that you have actually done something worthwhile for a change and will want to return to this class again and again and again. Promise.

I'd make this into two sentences --->

and feel that you have actually done something worthwhile for a change. You will want to return to this class again and again and again. Promise.

derigeur ---> de rigueur

(when this gets put into GuideML it will need italicising)

To look at your face and boobs (man boobs and/or women's)

To look at your face and boobs (or those of others, manboobs included)


sense of humour[,] laughing out loud - no comma needed here.


There are probably a few additional stray apostrophes, but I look forward to this appearing in Peer Review. Great stuff Rosie

okay....

done the alterations, thank you


any other suggestions...?

oh...yeh....

I've got a question...when do I do the Guide ML thing??

and....

HOW!!

You don't have to- a friendly sub editor can put it in for you.

It's well worth learning though, and this isn't too hard. I can give you a walk through if you like, Rosie?

Vip made a really good introduction to how it all works here, you could most certainly have a play about with this.

A69370509

Remember nothing changes until you press the 'Update' button, so you can keep trying things out and use the 'Preview' until you've got it sorted out.

Okay....

I'll have a go...watch this space

But it may take a while!

I can talk you through it on Skype if you really get stuck.

soooooo.....
I've divided it up into paragraphs but think it needs subheadings ....any suggestions? no rush for a reply

and...

want me to do a cartoon/doodle?

and....
(*whispering*is there anything in the pipeline that I could illustrate?? )

Not sure if this one would be your cup of tea? A87732066 Maybe a photograph?

Glad to see you made it through the GuideML challenge! You almost deserve a medal for that in itself.


I spotted a few more things, and when you've sorted these out I think you can move this Entry into Peer Review itself.

After you've fixed these little nitpicks/typos - I suggest you research a few places that you'd recommend as starting points for taking up yoga. I think a final paragraph giving suggestions would sum this up nicely.

I can explain how to add hyperlinks to other web pages and to other related h2g2 Entries as well.

Here are the other things to fix:

There are different types of yoga, Hatha yoga, Ashtanga, Bikram the list is slowly lengthening as more and more people are putting their twist to it.( no pun intended here)

---> There are different types of yoga, such as Hatha yoga, Ashtanga, and Bikram. This list is slowly lengthening as more and more people are putting their twist to it( no pun intended here).

Originally an Indian type of exercise which is supposed to stretch and strengthen your body, therefore giving control over your body.

---> Originally an Indian type of exercise [yoga] is supposed to stretch and strengthen your body, therefore giving control over your [entire physique].

(two uses of 'your body' in the same sentence - please feel free to alter my suggestions if you think of a better alternative)


The follower of the yogi way of life, would then be able to sit comfortably for long periods of time to enable deep meditation and relaxation in the hope of achieving nivarna- a deep state of bliss and contentment.

---> The follower of the yogi way of life would then be able to sit comfortably for long periods of time to enable deep meditation and relaxation, in the hope of achieving [nirvana] - a deep state of bliss and contentment.

(remove the comma from after the word 'life' put one after 'relaxation' and alter the spelling of 'nirvana'. Put a space after nirvana.

tones up ones physique ---> one's

"attaining of nivarna" ---> 'attaining of nirvana'

(we use single quotes as the double ones can cause problems on some browsers apparently) Also sp or nirvana again.


daring your self to enter ---> yourself

Dread locks ---> Dreadlocks

have ones back towards a mirror ---> one's

The list is usually endless but this time is your time and try and think of nothing.

---> The list is usually endless but this time is your time [so] try and think of nothing.


Finally, post back to this conversation when you've made the edits, so we can see that you're ready to go! Otherwise you may be forgotten in the backlog. Posting will bring this back to the top of subscribed researchers conversations.


Lanzababy

Thanks for all those corrections, which I have accepted and dutifully altered....phew, you think you've read it through...but realise you've not done it properly...and to think I was a bit of a proof reader!

Any way, suggestions as to where people could go...could it be a web site link? Or just general suggestions like - get in touch with your local gym??



ps ...love your !

yes, the island was a lovely addition to the smileys wasn't it?


Just had a little search on h2g2 and these may be promising for a concluding paragraph... or working into the text somewhere. I'm just jotting them down here for future reference.

A6756708 Surviving a Modern Gym

A1067771 Cures for Apathy

A13785014 Obesity

A685037 Overcoming Depression

A930179 Relaxation Techniques

A673508 Farts and Flatulence

A590799 How to get a good night's sleep

This looks really good, i thought I was looking around in PR - and congrats for moving to GuideML, though i see you're one of these efficent people who managed to get an entry to work with GuideML quickly, unlike me who spent a fiddling with my Personal Space before accidently deleting it

I, also however do not know much about yoga, so can't really help of the content front

Well done

Thank you - but still thinking about a concluding paragraph as suggested by Lanza...

It'll come

I enjoyed this! it provides a good introduction to yoga without being too serious.

I wonder if it's worth saying anything about yoga classes for men? The yoga classes I've been to are very female dominated and some men need either the reassurance that the women won't laugh at them, or they need classes of their own. Just a thought.

I don't think that the clause beginning 'and wearing what you think suitable....' really belongs in the sentence beginning 'The class was suggested...' (It sounds as if the psychiatrist is wearing these things!) It might be better to put this clause before 'Lycra pants...' You then need to change 'is' to 'are'.