h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Are you having us on, Dmitri, or do you really want us to write like William McGonagall?

Surely this approach won't do in these cynical times? Maybe because, at least in the West, we don't expect to find children dead on the pavement, or because we've seen too many TV adaptations of 'Christmas Carol', our reaction is likely to be mockery.

"But in the corner, at the cold hour of dawn, sat the poor grl, with rosy cheeks and with a smiling mouth leaning against the wall. The ambulance stopped by the kerb and the paramedic stooped down and examined her.
'Here's another one that's had a few too many drinks.'"

Aha. Another honest reaction to this.

Bel was proofing this one for publication. She wrote me, 'You are making mock of my favourite children's writer.'

Yep. I am. I'm being ironic - or sarcastic, depending on your point of view. It's mean, I know. But I think there's a mile difference between that sort of thing and O Henry.

Have you ever read 'A Dog of Flanders'?

No, but I have seen 'Goodnight Mr Tom'. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0175680/plotsummary

That's sentimental, but it works, I think, because the characters are strong.

I don't know it, I'm afraid, so I couldn't comment.

I believe it is more a question of emotional honesty. Have you seen 'Second-Hand Lions'? It's about two older men who raise their nephew for awhile. They're terrible liars (or seem to be, not giving the plot away), and the boy has been the victim of very bad parenting.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0327137/

The film is warm and convincing because of the emotional honesty of the story and its portrayals. At least, so I say.

I loved Goodnight Mr Tom. Look for it on netflix or whatever it is called.

And I love the HC Andersen fairy tales. No matter how much you mock them.

I will look for that one, thanks.

As for Andersen, I have said what I have said.

There is a wonderful, wonderful novel by Jack Finney, called 'Time and Again'. The plot is about time travel, but the novel is really about memory. The time traveller uses a building near Central Park, called the Dakota, if I remember correctly, and reproductions of period objects to achieve translation into the 1880s.

He moves into a boarding house, where they spend evenings singing. The time traveller remarks:

'Maud found the music, and - all reading the words over her shoulders - we sang what is probably the most lugubrius song I've ever heard, about this poor dead baby, and including lines like "Baby's gone to join the angels, peaceful evermore.'

The narrator goes on to note that the pianist had tears in her eyes.

http://books.google.com/books?id=XHYhiWmMvysC&pg=PA159&lpg=PA159&dq=jack+finney+dead+baby+songs&source=bl&ots=iazsGkHNLf&sig=wMu04XNKyG7T5cb6P0GH8GLmPvU&hl=en&sa=X&ei=24PvTu2MIYWftweYk8mHCA&ved=0CB4Q6AEwAA#v=onepage&q&f=false

I've found the song. It's called 'Cradle's Empty'. Here are the lyrics:

http://pdmusic.org/1800s/80cebg.txt

The sheet music cover for maximum verisimilude:

http://epfl.mdch.org/cdm4/item_viewer.php?CISOROOT=/mdbv&CISOPTR=188&CISOBOX=1&REC=5

Unfortunately, I cannot find the tune.

We have something similar (or better, we had):

http://www.kuksnet.de/dateien/kinderlieder/heidschibumbeidschi.htm

Au, weia!

It was immensely popular in the 1960s, sung by a Dutch boy called Heintje.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=496QyjNE-Vo

That's cruel, Bel.

By the way, we were just at the grocery. The loudspeaker was playing 'My Favourite Things'. Elektra started fussing.

'That's not a Christmas song! It's got nazis in!'

I laughed all the way to the car.

Revenge is sweet...this is the worst, most maudlin song we know from the 1970s:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=59BZxgohr9g

That's schmaltzy.

Definitely schmaltzy, jawohl.

Use that as an example in a future Writing Right.

We'll have to do songwriting at some point, won't we?

Just go ahead.

Also a possible Post challenge...Olympics songs...

I was rather hoping for something on dialogue.

As for song writing, I haven't forgotten Neil Diamond!

Ooh, dialogue...thanks for the tip, MVP.

Neil Diamond. I wonder who else will stir up controversy? Obviously, this vein is not tapped out...

Ah, good old Neil... 'You don't give me flowers (dramatic pause) anymore'