h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

(Someone else writing film criticism in the Post? Obviously no-one told you what happened to Jedi Jade, my last competitor.)

Anyway, as next week's review will show, I will go and see absolutely *anything*, but only if there's nothing else on. (And even if there isn't sometimes, depending on who's in it or directing it.)

This would always have been dire court-of-last-resort material anyway, though, eminently avoidable simply due to the Tarantino/Grindhouse connection. Having said that I was already somewhat familiar with it having used an op-ed piece about its genesis as a discussion text back in March or April. One of my students who'd never seen a movie at the cinema became absolutely fascinated and went away to watch the trailer online. I fear I did the very opposite of educating him.

Shame on you. How dare you introduce innocent foreign students to this trash?

I figured you were much too classy for this sort of thing. It was only the lure of Rutger Hauer, you see...

Back when we taught in Greece, Elektra and I had a feud going with Greek tv. They kept showing these dreadful movies, you see, in English, late at night, but nobody in Greece goes to bed before 2 am, anyway...

After May Day, we had to re-educate our kids that that m-word wasn't kosher. This was because they'd seen 'White Collar'.

Then our 10-year-olds came in all excited. 'Did you see that great movie on Saturday night?'

I groaned. 'NO! Tell me you didn't watch 'Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Garcia'...'

Then there was our school secretary. Who thought 'Merry Christmas, Mr Lawrence' was good holiday fare...

*I think the movie was 'Blue Collar'. (Typing colourblindness?)

Oh, boy. School secretaries I have known - the video library when I worked in Kyrgyzstan was stuffed with a) really bad and b) really inappropriate movies. I would watch a DVD on the last day of every month as a reward for the students, and had a regular shouting match with a gang of 13- and 14-year-old girls wanting to watch Romero's Dawn of the Dead.

Is Blue Collar the Paul Schrader movie with Yaphet Kotto in it? I think I've seen the beginning of it.

Anyway, the last shreds of my credibility will be blown away next week as it's going to be the trashiest movie I've looked at in ages...

You know, I don't know. I believe the movie in question had Richard Pryor in it. We didn't watch it. Unfortunately, we did watch 'Alfredo Garcia'. I will never forget this. I wish I could.

Elektra's just seen this. She's in awe, and wants to know more about Kyrgyzstan.

I'm looking forward to the trashy movie review.

I really like Rutger Hauer, but I think I'll refrain from watching this film.

Try Blind Fury instead, it's a lot more fun (though equally violent and absurd).

Hey, Richard Pryor is in that movie! Clearly he makes less of an impact on my memory than Yaphet Kotto though. Saw the first ten minutes in 1997 when it was on as part of Moviedrome (apparently it's a cult movie).

I loved Blind Fury - despite the violence. But then it had Rutger Hauer in it.

I don't know 'Blind Fury' - I'll have to look it up.

Elektra and I concluded that it was actually possible to see too much of Rutger Hauer...but that was only after we watched 'Turkse Fruits'...

Recently - good in Batman Begins, good in Confessions of a Dangerous Mind. Supporting roles both times, of course.

I love an actor who doesn't always have to be the star.

I think a lot of people don't get much of a choice!