h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: The History Of Early Greek City-States - A860014
Author: Mystrunner (Ace, Scout) - † - Patron Saint Of Assassins - U173132

An entry on the Greek city-states.

I would like imput, if any is found.

Oh, this one must have slipped through Gnomon's net

Looks good


Here are some typos:
polis's survival -> polis' survival
Athens’s -> Athens'

"Using this to their advantage, and the government changed to an aristocracy" - They used it to their...

"...until age thirty, and ate there until age seventy. Marriage was allowed at twenty." Er... should be 'thirteen' and 'seventeen' there I don't think people got as old as seventy then.

As to Sparta - I seem to remember that every firstborn was thrown down a cliff, just for the hang of it. Or for any other obscure reason.


'Draco was the first Archon...' You should introduce the term 'Archon' here. It crops up several times later, but you never explain what it is.

IMHO there should be some kind of conclusion (if not punchline) at the end. ATM it just stops there.

Good stuff.
People didn't wear togas in ancient Greece. Togas were Roman.
Typo - Cliesthenes should be Cleisthenes
Draco - mention that he gave us the word Draconian

Thanks!

I was aiming with the toga remark to be how a lot of people don't really know everything about greek and roman times. But, if you think it doesn't fit, I can still take it out.

I'll get to work.

-Mystrunner

This looks great,

There are some good subjects that i'm sure you can give links to guide entries for - wasn't there a good one on Demokratia i saw recently?

I only read the intro and skimmed through much of the rest, but as a general observation, some of the sections are quite short... now this can mean various things. Two possibilities are that a) you have more sections than needed; b)you need to beef up some sections with addional material.

Good luck with this,
spiff

Thanks. I think I'll probably yoink this from PR until later.

Good imput, all!

personally, i'd leave it here, maybe make some changes and polish the whole thing up but basically stick with PR. but that's just me.

if not, you could always try the Writing-Workshop for some low-pressure feedback...