A Conversation for Rain in the Desert - Tucson, AZ
Peer Review: A858008 - Rain in the Desert - Tucson, AZ
CymraesYankee Started conversation Oct 24, 2002
Entry: Rain in the Desert - Tucson, AZ - A858008
Author: CymraesYankee - U207047
How's this? So far, so good?
A858008 - Rain in the Desert - Tucson, AZ
Otto Fisch ("Stop analysing Strava.... and cut your hedge") Posted Nov 17, 2002
Three weeks without comments? Very poor indeed!
I like this a lot, but I think that it will need a few changes before it can be put in the edited guide. For stylistic consistency, the edited guide is always written in the third person (ie not using "I" or "me"), but what I like about this entry is that it is a personal account. It is possible to get around the third person requirement by putting some of your personal comments in italics (using the and tags on either side of the comments) and calling them "one researcher's account".
I think this would need quite a lot of changes in terms of style, but it's probably just about fine as it is for The Post.
What does everyone else think?
Otto
A858008 - Rain in the Desert - Tucson, AZ
Sea Change Posted Nov 19, 2002
I thought it was gorgeous and evocative, but couldn't see most scouts perceiving this as 'knowledge', even though it clearly is. Sometimes you just have to kinesthetically and physically *be* somewhere to understand something, and this article proves that.
Rather than making suggestions to transmogrify this gem from what it is to something that would be accepted to be edited, I left it be.
A858008 - Rain in the Desert - Tucson, AZ
There is only one thing worse than being Gosho, and that is not being Gosho Posted Nov 20, 2002
It's a shame that in its present form it couldn't be considered for the EG because it really does a good job of describing what it's like to live in a desert climate (here in central Texas it isn't quite as hot as Tucson, but once you get over 100ºF, it's just HOT, no matter which way you look at it).
I think it would be a real shame to re-write this to fit in with the guidelines because it would lose its magic. I reckon it'd be much better to send it off to <./>ThePost</.>. I'm sure they'd be interested in it
A858008 - Rain in the Desert - Tucson, AZ
Otto Fisch ("Stop analysing Strava.... and cut your hedge") Posted Nov 20, 2002
Hang on, no slating of scouts, please!
We follow the guidelines for edited guide entries and advise accordingly. I never said that this isn't "knowledge" - indeed I suggested a way that it could be re-written to meet the guidelines. Never make the mistake of thinking that scouts think that the guidelines are the universal guidelines for good writing.
Otto
A858008 - Rain in the Desert - Tucson, AZ
Sea Change Posted Nov 20, 2002
To me, this piece fits the writing guidelines. That it hasn't been picked is instructive. Though it's excellent compared to many entries here in PR, it's implied pretty strongly in my mind that it isn't the style being objected to because most scouts I've encountered aren't taciturn. If it's not the style, then it's the content.
As far as slating, my british english american english dictionary says that slating=severe reprimand. I am tsk-tsking at you-all, but I apologize if you took it so strongly. My assertion seemed to be a logical conclusion that it was deemed so incredibly inappropriate since in 3 weeks noone even gave this author the standard "erm..this isn't suitable" template.
This is one of the reasons that, given all the time I spend here in PR, I am too lazy myself to volunteer as a scout.
A858008 - Rain in the Desert - Tucson, AZ
Otto Fisch ("Stop analysing Strava.... and cut your hedge") Posted Nov 20, 2002
Ah - no. Slating isn't a severe reprimand - it's much more minor than that. Although to slate someone's work would be to criticise severely, slating doesn't quite mean that. Slating is more of an Australianism, I think. Either way, serves me right for using slang. There's a general tendency on the site to criticise scouts as a cipher for the guidelines, and after recent controversies, I'm a bit over-sensitive about it.
I don't think this piece doesn't fit the guidelines because bits of it are in the first person, as I've said. I'm honestly not sure how much work it would need - it would depend on the direction it wanted ot take. Perhaps it should either be entitled "Rain in the Desert", or have more info about Tucson and keep the current title. But it's an unusual entry, which is why I posted something and asked for other opinion
Although it's been in PR for three weeks, it's not pickable (IMO only) because no-one had commented. I don't think many scouts would pick an entry that hadn't received comments, and I'm even less sure that it would be accepted. That's a community issue, not just a scout issue. This isn't scout review, but peer review. And good thing too!
Otto
A858008 - Rain in the Desert - Tucson, AZ
Sea Change Posted Nov 20, 2002
There are Edited exceptions to the no-first-person rule. Even the italics are fuzzy on this one, when pressed.
One thing I have found from living in the desert/near-desert of California, is that those from the east coast of the United States, and from even more green and pleasant lands really don't grok the desert. There are even some born here (like me) who nevertheless don't like it (not at all like me)and consider it ugly and wouldn't get the beauty of this particular piece.
Perhaps this piece hasn't gotten any Review from Peers in that nobody from the british empire's farther, drier, corners has spotted it yet.
Since the piece mentions snowbirds, which is a slang word that warm-climate Unitedstatian resort cityfolk use to describe folks who live where it snows in summer and come to visit long term during the winter (usually only possible for retirees), using that word is a haiku-type localizer that limits the piece to Arizona or Florida, and since it's about desert, which FL has precious little of, one thinks of AZ almost immediately. There only a few large cities in Arizona, and each has their own feel and style. You couldn't properly write this particular piece on Phoenix or on Albuquerque, for instance. Therefore, I think Tucson needs to remain in the title, even though the article isn't about the city proper.
A858008 - Rain in the Desert - Tucson, AZ
Ste Posted Nov 21, 2002
I really like this entry a lot. It needs a little polishing and (hopefully) a minimal of editing for the guide. The first person stuff can be worked around by putting the whole things in italics if necessary.
Well done, great writing
Ste
A858008 - Rain in the Desert - Tucson, AZ
Kerr_Avon - hunting stray apostrophes and gutting poorly parsed sentences Posted Jan 20, 2003
Unforrtunately, groovy as the writing is, our researcher seems to have Elvised Can I suggest a move back to entry, and a nudge in Sazz's direction for possible Post inclusion?
A858008 - Rain in the Desert - Tucson, AZ
Sam Posted Jan 22, 2003
There IS an entry in here somewhere (it contains facts that kind of give it substance) but there's also a lot of other stuff too. I reckon there's enough work needed on this to warrant a move to the Flea Market. Sure we have the odd first person entry, but they have to be pretty special for us to bend the 'rules'. This one, in our opinion, doesn't quite have the clout of, say, 'My Experience of a Cyst on My Brain', so we rekcon an FM overhaul is the thing to do.
Does anyone volunteer to put this in the Flea Market?
A858008 - Rain in the Desert - Tucson, AZ
There is only one thing worse than being Gosho, and that is not being Gosho Posted Jan 22, 2003
I'd really like to see this in the Post To get a Guide-worthy entry out of it you'd have to remove so much of the good stuff, and I think there's really very little in there of a factual nature on which to build an entry. It would be such a shame to lose all that description of what it's like in Southern Arizona at the height of the summer I know people who have lived in Tucson and Phoenix, and this entry sums up exactly what they've told me about it.
Key: Complain about this post
Peer Review: A858008 - Rain in the Desert - Tucson, AZ
- 1: CymraesYankee (Oct 24, 2002)
- 2: Otto Fisch ("Stop analysing Strava.... and cut your hedge") (Nov 17, 2002)
- 3: Sea Change (Nov 19, 2002)
- 4: There is only one thing worse than being Gosho, and that is not being Gosho (Nov 20, 2002)
- 5: Otto Fisch ("Stop analysing Strava.... and cut your hedge") (Nov 20, 2002)
- 6: Sea Change (Nov 20, 2002)
- 7: Otto Fisch ("Stop analysing Strava.... and cut your hedge") (Nov 20, 2002)
- 8: Sea Change (Nov 20, 2002)
- 9: Ste (Nov 21, 2002)
- 10: Kerr_Avon - hunting stray apostrophes and gutting poorly parsed sentences (Jan 20, 2003)
- 11: Monsignore Pizzafunghi Bosselese (Jan 21, 2003)
- 12: Sam (Jan 22, 2003)
- 13: There is only one thing worse than being Gosho, and that is not being Gosho (Jan 22, 2003)
- 14: Sam (Jan 22, 2003)
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