h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: Model United Nations - A85422639
Author: Nosebagbear - U14077177

A basic run through of Model United Nations a role playing scenario of the real UN.
I have alot of experience in this but it is by its nature in either being a delegate or organising an 800 person conference - i'm not so sure about explaining it to an outsider

Cheers for both techincal info and help with getting it to read properly

This looks like good stuff, and the sort of thing that would make an Edited Entry without very much work.

I'll give it a thorough proofreading...

1. don't use the tag to move onto a new line. The standard is to use the paragraph tag. Put a at the start of each paragraph and a at the end. A paragraph may be as short as a single sentence.

So you should change the after "Republic of Korea" to and start the next line ("Students") with a

2. You don't need a header at the very start of the entry, as the title of the entry takes the place of a header. The very first part between the beginning and the first header, is always an overview, so you don't have to say "Overview".

3. Content:

one of dispute with Harvard and Far West -- I don't know what you mean - a dispute between Harvard and Far West, perhaps?

Since MUN's arrival it has spread quickly -- not sure what you mean by arrival here. Did it arrive from somewhere? Or do you mean its establishment.

The Security Council often calls ambassadors from -- this sentence just stops there. From where?

As delegates must be silent -- do you really that nobody is allowed to talk? If so, why didn't you mention it before?

4. Grammar:

has ran since 1923 --> has run since 1923

both their public speaking skills, knowledge of the UN, and how to make a resolution at the MUN -- you should only use the word "both" when there are two things. Since you have a list of three things here, you could use a different word, or just leave it out.

delegates have to try and lobbying others to sign for their resolution -->
delegates have to try and lobby others to sign their resolution

The amount of signatures --> The number of signatures

There are many places where you could put commas to break up the sentences and make them easier to read. If you can't see them, I'll point them out.

Once a resolution has passed --> Once a resolution has been passed

"Examples include the use of the United Nations headquarters in New York being used for opening and closing ceremonies" -- you have "use" in this twice. Reword it as:

Examples include the United Nations headquarters in New York being used for opening and closing ceremonies


5. Spelling mistakes:

their countrie's views -- should be either their country's views (one country) or their countries' views (more than one country)

will learn about and practice -- in British English, when it is a verb, practise is spelt with an 's'.


Other than those few issues, this is really ready to go into Peer Review.

All the specific changes have been done - I don't know why but i am very good at spotting grammar/spelling et al. within other people's works, but rarely within my own.

I've broken up some sentences with commas, and indeed into several sentences when it suited, but i suspect there are a few more within (i find them hard to spot since to me the detail is already known so is filled in mentally)

cheers for the help
Nbb

Several more comments done, cheers Gnomon - I'll move this to Peer Review.