You want fries with that?
Created | Updated Apr 26, 2002
Macdonald's is the culinary equivalent of a package holiday - in the brochure it looks nice, but when you get there you realise that if a picture paints a thousand words, then the ones in the brochure were clearly talking about somewhere else (for one thing they didn't mention the dead donkey floating in the swimming pool, or the beach being in howitzer range of the hotel rather than "a stone's throw"). Macdonald's is the original fast food restaurant (an American invention which aims to resolve the difference between the amount of food the average American would like to eat and the length of his/her lunchbreak), fast food being a hotch potch of charbohydrates, protein (of dubious origin), fibre and (mostly) fat that has been mixed up so fast that someone has forgotten to tell it along the way what it's ment to be. The result is what we are lead to believe is a burger, which is unfortunate, however, as the ingredients tend to disagree, they believe they are the prophet of doom to all taste buds and the vengeful dealer of death to our waistline. The end product tastes like flavoured cardboard and is ideally washed down with that unforgettable drink which resides on a throne at the top of it's own food group (if not food chain): the Macdonald's Milkshake. This indomitable drink has the texture of sandpaper and the consistency of tar, and is a good chaser to your meal because it will envelop and devour the potentially dangerous burger you have just eaten before it does any permanent damage to your stomach. The Macdonald's fries are unmemorable as they are the same as all other fast food fries: thin, greasy and overpriced. They are clearly loved by the employees however, as you cannot order anything from Macdonald's whithout hearing the monotonous slogan, "You want fries with that?" yelled in your general direction. Finally the service, the employees are clearly bored with their jobs, and they do little to hide it; although they may mean well, you've more chance of finding the answer to the question of life, the universe and everything (42) in the bowl of your toilet after a curry and some heavy drinking, than you have of finding a genuinely helpful Macdonald's employee capable of uttering anything other than the pitiful phrase which they live by, "You want fries with that."
