The speed of 'Modern Life' is notoriously inconsistent and there are many examples to prove this. If an Australian sheep herder set-up a webcam in his field and one day someone was watching it, saw that the sheep herder was in trouble from a wolf ten seconds away, the guy on the other end could send him an e-mail warning him of the danger in 4 seconds, thereby saving his life. Despite this, it still takes three days for cheques to clear.

Since the invention of the tram people have wondered why all forms of public transport turn up in threes, yet you could end up waiting a lifetime for just one to show.

We can travel to the moon in four days, however, try getting into London during peak hours and you'll wonder how this is possible.

Maybe the reason the Speed of Modern Life seems to change so frequently is because of a life-style in the UK and US which has so many contrasting elements. Many people in the City of London, after a day in high-powered, high-energy business meetings, relax through Yoga, yet the number of psychatrists is on the increase.

This reporter spoke to a 'Neo' (address withheld), who told us, 'Time is perception, nothing is real'. What is this paranoid mass-murderer talking about? Nobody knows, but it makes a bloody good film.