The Rockford Flies
Created | Updated Mar 30, 2011
Another of the Max Rebo chronicles. This one concerns…
The Rockford Flies
In the winter of 197-, Max came down with a bad case, its hinges broken, its combination locks jammed. When he shook it, we heard a sound like broken glass and bits of cotton wool so we figured it might be valuable. We were as curious as a dead cat. Deciding to crack it open, I fetched my axe from the bathroom and Max split the case like a melon. Inside was a large paper package wrapped in sellotape.
After dinner, we worked at opening it with knives, scissors – anything we could find. Nail clippers, forks, knitting needles, lasers, shards of glass, damp bits of cotton wool, anything. Finally, we cleared it. Inside was a melon. Max was pleased with this and danced around the room until he put his foot through the coffee table. We dabbed his wounds clean with cotton wool, which we then discarded all over the carpet along with the glass and the melon. Unable to control his hunger, Max licked the melon off the carpet and sucked on the largest glass fragments. The next day, Max came down with a bad case of food poisoning.
I told Max I thought we should send for the doctor but we had no one to send so I went instead. Max came with me.
Later, after he'd recovered, we decided it was time to move on. Of course, Max couldn't move at all because of his paralysis so I rolled him down the drive and hooked him to the back of the car. We drove like that all the way to Llandudno. I wanted to go there because I admired the Great Orm and the Little Orm but couldn't remember which was which. When I parked and got out, Max had gone.
The following morning, Max was all over the news.
