h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Jak the master has a nice ring to it.

There are lots of round here. Next time one gets into the garden I'll entice it into the (by making 's eyes at it? ) and bring it over.

Perhaps Ddraig's decided to go feral, the way my peacocks did.

*Tosses a small bag of nuts in Genie's general direction*

thanks Tefkat!!

Hi


Please keep control over those nuts, if theyre for Genie thats fine but if Ddraig gets hold of them hell pebble dash everything in sight or in his case out of sight

Is this the Genie we all dream about

Thanks for the job offer does this mean i have a role and function at last.
Finally recognition and notification not sure of that last word in this context.

Will have to change my ID, that is if Freud will let me is this a sign of some deeper complex or a defence mech'

Do i get any special eqipment with this post, can we organise an equipment party even bigger so big i can see the back of my own neck.
maybe we could get Ann Winters or someone in to put on a exhibition for us

Anyhow thoughts have been flooding in how does
JaK THE CELTIC KEEPER OF SHADOW DEMONS< MONSTERS AND ALL THIS DRAGONIAN, doesnt come a croos a little to pretentious.

Well the next hour is bound to be busy so a little offering for my favorite pussy and fuzz ball



Shame Genie is a veggie.

What do you call a fish with no eyes














fsh




Jak

Hi Jak!

Dream of what you wish.....


Veggie? where did you get that from?.....

I eat vegetables
I like Vegetables
I probably look like a vegetable...

But thats as far as the attraction goes...

How do you make a go woof?












Spray it with petrol then light a match....




I'll get my coat....

....and then apply said match to the

merely lighting a match will not make the go woof

pedantic icky

How do you make a dog go miaow?




























Freeze it in liquid nitrogen, and run it through a bandsaw.

enough, enough!

Are we ruining your meal purrrchance Teasswill?

Any going.And can I borrow the if I ever discover who did steal my handbag.I've already got my Nigerian witchdoctor beads out and cursed them with boils,fleas,lice,scabies and warts.I'm still mulling over what more to wish on them.

Have you realised how much time we spend in this kitchen?I'm too domesticated I guess.

Anyway any bleach etc?After Icky's visit to the Jacuzzi I reckon I may have some work to do.Oh are there any rubber gloves as well?

Incog.

Theres a nice big steaming cup of for you here Incog.

Sorry about your handbag, there really are some nasty people out there , I hope they get whats coming to them...

I'm not sure about just using *just* rubber gloves in there, you may want to go with the whole contamination suit... Will a loobrush help?


How do you make a Pedantic Ictoan say ouch?











Bosh him on the head for ruining my joke.....

Incog'
Seems that Ddraig has become a free agent, if hes happy to go with U then watch out Handbag thieves

Genie
Which Veg do you look like ?
Took it from that she only ever offered U nuts
If U ask Ddraig hes often prepared to share a bit of

Thanks for the permission to Dream, does it matter if i
maybe helpful to have a bit more detail to assist Nocternal Notions

By the way where do you keep the Girls Night Out and in todays society what about us boys is this a tad exclusive and sexist

Jak


Oh just had a thought

what do u call a man with a rabbit on his head















Warren

Sexist Me???


I look like a swede, smell like a turnip and my dad always told me that I could grow potatoes in my ears........But sexist? No..

If you go down to my journal you will see that girls *and* boys can share their embarrassing and funny stories of nights out

As I am not a man (last time I checked anyway) I took the executive decision not to be the 'Keeper of the boy's Night out', leaving the position open for a real expert...


...(for the orrible jokes)

Genie
Have this mental image of a swede, Tall Blond Legs that go on and on
Am I close ?
The turnips on my trousers dont have a smell am i missing somit

Did I say sexist, must have been a typo far to many letters.

Will visit your space soon and discover more of the real U

What orrible jokes ?
Theyre from my top draw, if you want baduns

Thanks for the what No at least they wernt

Jak

Actually it was a play on words, my family are swedish....

Not sure what blonde legs are though.....Does that mean they are very hairy????


Are you trying to insult me again??????










I'm going into the garden to eat worms.

*inserts a couple of diplomatic commas*

"...mental image of a swede: Tall, Blond, Legs that go on and on..."

Legs that go on and on are great. My own can go on for many miles before they need a rest, though range might be reduced if there's a hill involved. Or is that not what Jak was thinking of...?

Oh, and and some for genie - it tastes better than worms

Someone take this spade off me and stop me digging



Jak

At least now we know why the swimming pool's an Olympic-sized one. And who dug it...

Thanks for the Dolt, very much needed


Worms are rather chewy...

mmmmm ....