And yet again I am forced to endure constant pestering and assault from my cursor. But I fear the cursor has nothing on the happiness in which I write this article. So neeeeyyyaaaaa cursor. Take that.

You, reader, will recall that I wrote some time ago about a portrait of a love failed. Well, that much is true, but I am sure some of my esteemed readers got the impression that I was painting a rather dismal picture with no hope of requiem. Well, a requiem has come for me. I have recently taken an interest in a woman that makes even the slightest conversation a heart warming and fulfilling experience.
You see, after my last, emotional openness and security was veiled with sarcasm and humour. Now I find that honesty is a greater experience. Now I see a greater good and fulfillment in openness and I endeavor to do so at all times with this person. She has brought those qualities in me alive once again. So in this article I will try to impart the newfound happiness in me to you, the reader, so you too can enjoy such an experience.

I first met the girl in question whilst I was still in college. I had the opportunity to take her to a formal and enjoy some time with her. Now, reader, this is also the time in which I was dealing with the women whom I wrote about before, so I unfortunately didn't take the opportunity as it arose. Now I am sure everyone can sympathize about missed opportunity, hindsite is after all 20-20. But I digress, back to my point. After this woman and I got together, at times the only thoughts that kept me sane were the thoughts of brief times together with this woman. I got the opportunity to see this woman dressed in all her elegance and in all her beauty, which to this day stuns me. I got to see her as we tried to convey some desire for each other without ever saying it. Kinda foolish since we felt the same for each other, but we were both dealing with problems. But again, for all the pain and misery I suffered through with the failed relationship, the thoughts that made me the happiest were of the brief moments that this woman I spent together.

To remember her at her parents house, dressed in her formal wear floating across the room as I sat nervously in her parents house. I noticed the way the light danced across her face and her exposed flesh. I remember the shear awe I held as this vision smiled at me shyly and introduced me to her folks. I noticed the smell of freshness and almost virginal quality of her body spray, only further serving to multiply her unattainability. Again a quality that drew me to her. And even in further meetings, her elegance and beauty always shone forth.

That is what drew me back to her. I was sitting all alone one night and was feeling rather happy with myself, and I wondered, 'what ever happened to...' and I emailed her. O My God. Could life be any better? She returned the email and was more than a little interested in getting re-acquainted. I cannot ever express the happiness and joy that ensued with this development. And subsequently, we talk everyday and share some of the most intimate and personal conversations that two people can share. And even better news, she will soon be joining me here in NY for a weekend, so this will afford us to move our relationship into a new level, and that is just what two mending hearts like ours need.

But to ask what I feel from day to day about her is to open the dam wide. I feel the need to tell her even the most pedestrian of events. I seek her constant approval and shy away from anything that might tarnish her opinion of me. I feel lightness in my chest when I talk to her and heaviness when I don't. I feel an overwhelming desire just to hold her close to me and whisper the securities that we both long to hear. I long for the sweetness of a gentle kiss at an airport and the exhilaration of the anxiousness of what the visitation might bring. I imagine the visage of pure joy on her face as we embrace for the first time in a long time and the sadness of the last embrace until the next time. I feel the heat of passion in my fantasy and the acknowledgement in her words that the passion will be there. Thoughts of her keep me up at night. I feel the soft sweep of her hair on my face as she kisses me and the soft embrace and feminity in my life. The desire to be around the kinder, gentler sex and to have them in my life is an overwhelming one. It makes my heart soar and my life look even better. No matter how bad my day is, I only long to hear about hers. And now with our reunion impending, I long to just to touch her. I know that one touch could last me forever right now.

I will memorise her in every detail. The taste and softness of her kiss. The intimacy and passion in her embrace. The soft gentleness in her presence and the smell of her skin. The feel of her hair about me and the touch of fingers on my body. I look in her eyes, as we become one entity of love and tenderness. The look of trust and openness and the happiness when the reciprocation of such is given. I see the need to be closer than we are at all times inherent in both of us.

This is the shortest of all my more meaningful articles. But I endeavor only to give the smallest tidbit of this and keep the larger portion to myself. She has taken my life and now has my heart to break. And this is a situation which I would have no other way. I give myself to her with utter abandon and freedom and I leave myself open to her affection and desire. I see in her everything I want, and I will do NOTHING to jeopardise that. I offer to her this simple mans life and the ability to make it part of hers and make his better.

So to you fellow researchers, Godspeed and I look forward to hearing about all of your exploits.

Aaron O'Keefe

22.08.02 Front Page

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