h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: We Can Build Our Dreams - Song - A766370
Author: spook - U183955

first impressions would be helpful. so would second impressions. and don't forget to include your third impressions too. and please don't be afraid to tell me it's good.

spook

I think this is a good entry, but it needs some things adding before it is ready to be edited.

I think this could go with a bit more of the background. It might be good to say a bit more about Chesterfield Football club, so it's clear why the FA cup run was so significant (lower division clubs don't tend to do well), as well as about the FA gap itself (for those who aren't familiar with it.

Also, you mention that 'Kaught in the Akt' were responsible for three lions. I think you should elaborate a bit more about that, in particular talking about what '3 lions' was, and how they were responsible.

I can't see any more problems at the moment, but I'll keep looking. By the way, it would be good to have something about Chesterfield (my home town) in the edited guide.

i've been away from chesterfield for a while so i can't write much about them, however, i am gonna write an entry on chesterfield footbal club itself.

i'll mention about the FA cup stuff u suggested.

i may be wrong, however i think kaught in the akt wrote 3 lions, however i don't know much about them. i may try and find out something.

i'll tell u when i've updated some of the stuff.

spook

One typo - none= known.

The only other thing that springs to mind is a repition of the previous point about 3 lions. "were responsible for" sounds like Kaught in the Akt performed it, when obviously they didn't....

i've updated entry. i haven't elaborated on what 3 lions was as this entyr is not about 3 lions, but i have specified how k i t a were responsible for it. if i'm wrong please correct me and i will remove the sentence.

tell me what u think now then.

spook

any more comments?

spook

comments or a recommendation would be nice. it might even cheer me up after england lost to brazil.

This entry is (IMHO) getting much better. I don't think there is really much to add in way of content. The style is a little rough, but this is your first entry, so hey, could be an *awful* lot worse! You must excuse me if I'm blunt, mucho . If this is your style, then time for a scout, methinks...

it isn't my first entry, but this is sort of my style. for this entry a least. i like to change my style depending on the subject and type of entry. as far as i am concerned this entry is finished, so scouts u'd better race to recommend this.

Hi Spook,

Nice entry! I admire your restraint in not going on about how Chesterfield were robbed in the semi-final - I'm sure you remember that shot that crossed the line and the ref didn't see it!

A couple more points: Kaught In The Act definitely didn't write '3 Lions'. I've just checked in a reference book, and it was written as well as performed by Baddiel and Skinner and The Lightning Seeds.

I would also change the last sentence if I were you. It doesn't quite make sense: 'Although Chesterfield did not win the cup, their 1996-7 cup run is one of the most memorable and is known as the year of the giantkillers.' I presume you mean that the 1996-7 season was known as the year of the giantkillers, in which case that needs explaining. It might be an idea to mention one or two of the other shocks that season.

i've made a few changes so tell me what u think now.

i may write an entry about chesterfield's fa cup run but this entry is not about that. if i did make an entry about that i may need to restrain myself quite a lot not to bad mouth david ellery.

spook

ps. i am not a very sly person

The only thing I'd change now is a very small thing: the capital Ps in the phrase 'Chesterfield Players', which you use a couple of times. They aren't needed - it should be 'Chesterfield players'.

done

It all seems fine to me now. There's nothing left to do but wait for a Scout with a spare pick!

NOTE TO ALL SCOUTS

>>>>>>ENTRY THAT NEEDS TO BE RECOMMENDED<<<<<<<

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...LOL