Divorcing Young
Created | Updated Jun 6, 2002
If you happen to find yourself in a similar situation as mine, that is divorced at the age 21 (or somewhere around that age), here are a few words of wisdom, if I am allowed to have words of wisdom at my age. You must get used to people saying tacky things like, "That's what happens when you marry so young" or "You young people just give up too easily." There is nothing you can say that will convince these people that your age was not the sole factor in the divorce. It doesn't matter if your ex was adulterous, lied about a secret love child, shot your best friend or led a double life as a prostitute, obviously, age was the deciding factor. You were just too young. Get used to hearing it. (By the way, my ex may or may not have participated in any or all of the above listed scandals.)
Dating again will obviously become an issue at some point. From experience, it seems best to bring up the divorced status a few dates in. Not the first one, that's too personal too quickly, but perhaps the third or fourth date, once you decide if the new person is worth pursuing. In this day few people are terribly shocked by anything. The person might be surprised, but if they run away screaming "too much baggage" they were not stable enough anyway. However, this plan is shot to hell if the person asks you about your marital status on the first date. For the love of dating, don't lie. You're divorced, there is a legal binding document out there that says so, and people are just going to have to get used to it (that includes you!).
Dating again will obviously become an issue at some point. From experience, it seems best to bring up the divorced status a few dates in. Not the first one, that's too personal too quickly, but perhaps the third or fourth date, once you decide if the new person is worth pursuing. In this day few people are terribly shocked by anything. The person might be surprised, but if they run away screaming "too much baggage" they were not stable enough anyway. However, this plan is shot to hell if the person asks you about your marital status on the first date. For the love of dating, don't lie. You're divorced, there is a legal binding document out there that says so, and people are just going to have to get used to it (that includes you!).
