h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*The source of the disturbance appears to be a man dressed in black leather. He has neural-interface ports at the base of his skull, and several broken assimilation units scattered around him. There is a warning siren, shot with an energy weapon.*
[Wesker] I... This isn't what it looks like...

*raises eyebrow, and watches via the collective and the optical lense in the wall. Waits to see the intruder's next move before attempting anything*

[Wesker] *Seems to be arguing with himself...* Why am I doing this... Well maybe you should stay damaged... I don't trust you... You of all people should be against assimilation... What do I mean? /I/ took over your body, in case you've forgotten! Maybe assimilating that Minion was a bad move... To much like the old me... Okay, non enough like you... Gah! Give me my head back! ... /You know what I mean!!!/

*watches some more, trying to figure out what's happening...*

*The queen's attention is directed towards the new comers, and she commands the optical lense she's been watching via to remove itself from the wall, then has it ~hopefully~ follow the new comers unnoticed.*

could you describe the place?

Picture the typical cube with regeneration alcoves, etc, as presented in Star Trek... then add an obvious trend away from that awful green they loved so much, replaced with blues and purples. Notice a few neglected towels... as well as some of the drones you encounter still having a towel... and... ummm... not sure.

And with the Borg Queen also being a Radio Shack sale associate, a lot of the parts, batteries and stuff have the Radio Shack logo/name on them :D

[Wesker] Okay. We've got the parts we need... Why? There's no need to take out the robots... You really have a problem with AI don't you?... Okay, so I assimilated you, /you/ wreaked my programming!... What do I mean!? I /never/ yelled at myself before you ruined my head!!! Let's just leave!
*Sneaks away, still muttering to himself.*

about how big is a borg cube? I know they're huge but I've never actually thought about relative size

Well, the Enterprise D (the Next Generation one) is about 650 meters long, give or take, so use that as a guide (I think about 8-900 meters per side).

A Correllian Corvette exits hyperspace out of weapons range of the Borg Cube and begins an indepth scan of it. The Imperial Probe Droids continue their search patterns and anylization of the cube.

*blinks and wonders if her borg collective is still alive*