h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

the LED. However, unlike Hll University who really did invent it, I *would* patent it!

the wheel. And I wish I had patented it. Revolutions at 1p each, thank you very much!

the stirrup. Then I could have swept across Western Europe with my horde of mounted jird ninja warriors! Mwa ha ha ha!

trees. To hide from mounted jird ninja warriors cos they sound damn scary!

Lumberjacks, so I could cut down the trees!

Monty Python, to mock the lumberjacks.

The giant foot with which to squash Monty Python!

You're *so* mean!

I only do it to you because you like it!

Oh my, a beeb fight.

Or even a beetch fight.

The transistor. I have read the lab notebook page where it was first documented, handwritten pretty much like my lab notebooks ... except it was important:

"The transistor announced by Bell Telephone Laboratories will permit miniaturization of electronic devices such as computers, radios, and television sets ... The tiny but rugged three-electrode solid-state transistor developed by physicists William Shockley, 38, John Bardeen, 40, and Walter H. Brattain, 46, will replace the glass vacuum tube pioneered by Bell Labs physicist H. D. Arnold in 1912" (1948)

Yup.

OTOH, my stereo amp sounds pretty good with vacuum tubes (really). But logging onto H2G2 would be a hassle, I think, with a vacuum tube computer.

[This also reminds me of a Mason 'Classical Gas' Williams quote: "I wish I had roomed with Beethoven. Then when the person next to me at the symphony said 'Isn't that great!', I could say, 'Like it? My roommate wrote it.' "]

The communications satellite, and patented it.

Yes, please, Mr. Murdoch, that'll be another grillion pounds, thanks!

H.

If you invented the wheel, then I invented the axle. Now who makes the money?

Who invented the patent and was it ever patented?
Anyway, it would be neat to invent the concept of inventions and patents themselves, don't you think?

The internet, and I'd also patent it. Then I'd charge a ridiculously small amount to every user, but since there are millions of users, I'd make a millions of dollars. Mwa-ha-ha-ha!

Wires. I'd patent wires. And infra red devices. Just in case.

I wish I had patented cows. Cos then Starbucks would owe me squillions!

Abi (who is in a very silly mood)

I'd have patented chocolate. Money for nothing and chicks for free

Starbucks and cows?