h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

... actually, "cad" is not the word I wanted to use, but anything else would've been starred off and I would've been banned from the Guide

I daresay a lot of women would benefit immensely from a Cad detector (also known as B*****d detector, there, I've almost said it), which beeps when they meet somebody they might be interested in and whose intentions are less than honest and pure and true (i.e. he'd stop at nothing to get them into bed). The beep might be substituted by a nice customizable ringtone, or for those who wish to be discreet, a buzzer. Not that there is anything wrong with sleeping with somebody just for the fun of it, but the gadget would be of immense help to women who wish to avoid commitment-phobics and general liars, cheaters and so forth.

And before anyone accuses me of sexism, a gadget along those lines could be produced to help men locate women who want to sleep with them Come to think of it, it could work the other way too.

It could take the form of a small computer with a hidden camera, registering tone and inflection (lies detector) and other signs of deception (body language) or availability (more body language, which boys are often oblivious to )

Of course such a gimmick would take a lot of the fun out of meeting people, and also imagine the embarrassment if you forgot to switch it off and it started beeping just as you're being introduced to your best friend's boyfriend, or your mate's sister, and it'd have to be programmed individually, as each one of us is prone to lying and chating and/or fancying the pants off somebody who is totally inappropriate to fancy... still, it could lead to pretty funny dating scenarios. (Like, you're with your best friend and the beeper goes off... what do you do?)

(Forgive me, but dating and men have been on my mind a lot recently, and God knows I could've used a Cad detector myself).

I finally found a non-Cad but only for trial and error. A Cad Detector would be a sure fire success!

How about one for guys to beep (or whatever) when the girl he's interested in is just using him for her own nefarious purposes.

It should definitely work the other way round: helping women locate men who would be willing to sleep with them and helping men steer clear of manipulative or greedy girls...

Ermm I have never heard of a man wanting to avoid a no strings liaison!

Some women find it very hard to work out who fancies them and who doesn't... I mean, the gimmick could really come in handy.

As for men who want a no-strings liaison, they could just set it to "locate potential partner" and then check with her if she'd like a no-strings thing... chances are she'll have her own device on, and it'll start beeping as soon as they start lying about their intentions Everyone's a winner

could we extend the functions of this miraculous machine so that it can tell you when someone is interested in you? cos i am a real dolt and never pick it up and get into all sorts of problems by being friendly and nice - especially as i am already quite happily relationshiped! plus it would have been a real help in the past

look, let's just skip all the machinery and have a bit of dirty ol' telepathy! of course you'd need to not be able to lie with telepathy for it to work
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Yes, the gimmick should be able to do that The general idea is to invent something that would free us all from the embarrassment and/or pain that come with our faulty in-built communication equipment...

One month after getting rid of the b****rd I would've needed the detector for, I'm finding myself in another predicament where it would definitely come in handy... but I guess I'll just sit around and wait this time, I mean, we've been doing without these thingies for millenniums and still we manage to reproduce and socialize... although I wonder if a few wars might not have been avoided if we'd had a few detectors around...