The Post Horror Scope
Created | Updated May 8, 2002
Well, that's all the predicting for this week over and done with, and now it's time to sit back and relax with an ice cold, glass of moo juice. The girls* are fighting over a pom-pom* that one of them has chewed off of a toy teddy bear they were given. The bear had a hat, with the said pom-pom on the end, this they both want, whilst the rest of the toy lies forgotten and dejected on the floor. Such is life, it makes me wonder if I am destined to be a pom-pom or a teddy bear, and which is it really better to be.
I am quite willing to answer all questions and queries regarding this subject, and if wanted I can
help with problems from researchers via e-mail. Due to time restrictions I cannot reply to each
individual E-mail personally, but will give the answer to your problems on the Horror Scope page.
Please send your letters and queries to me
Mystic
Greebs.
The Horror Scope is divided rather neatly up into twelve sections, January through to December,
and you will be able to tell which section you fall under by looking to the day you joined h2g2.
For those of you with limited understanding, I will explain further. If you joined h2g2 on the
25th April 2001, then your section will be April and you can read your future under that section
heading.
JANUARY
A loud bang and a quick exclamation are awaiting you this week, though in what order it is difficult to
tell. The Tiddly Winks sadly, do not reveal all this week.
FEBRUARY
A job that you have been labouring hours over will not be in vain this week; your achievements will be
greatly appreciated and your efforts will be lauded. Now that you have learned how to cut 'bread
soldiers', it's time to turn your attention to boiling the egg.
MARCH
The Tea Leaves are all in the bag today, a sure sign that something is secretive in your life at the
moment. Do you have a secret, or is somebody trying to keep a secret from you, only time will tell.
APRIL
A blast from the past will turn up on your doorstep at the weekend, a real sheep in wolf's
clothing, so it's time to put on your glad rags, and spend a night out on the town.
It's as plain as the nose on your face, that you need to get out and enjoy yourself, and I really
hope that these idioms have hit the nail on the head for you.
MAY
The Stains at the bottom of the Coffee Mug suggest that your lucky numbers for this week will be
19, 36 and 08. Or is that 61, 93 and 80, hmmm, or maybe they are not numbers after all, they could
be, oh dear!
It seems something lucky will happen to you this week, but it will be a... err... surprise.
JUNE
The Tarot Cards reveal a good deed will not go un-rewarded this week, so lend a helping hand when you can. The colour peppermint will have great importance to you on Tuesday.
JULY
The thrown Horseshoes reveal that you and six friends will aid a small village in a fight for justice in
the coming week, alas some of you may not come through the ordeal unscathed. But rest assured, your
exploits will become a thing of legend and emulation, including a great western with several highly inferior sequels, culminating in a really dodgy sci-fi movie.
AUGUST
An important letter will arrive by the weekend; you will know it is important as it will have those very words printed on it in large red letters. Whatever is inside may or may not change your life for good, but the only way to be sure is to open it and see.
SEPTEMBER
Clicking on the wrong link will take you on quite an adventure this week on the Internet; new
friendships, a brand new job, a new car, a new home and maybe even the holiday of a lifetime are all
within your grasp. Of course, if you click on the 'wrong link' none of these things will happen, that's
'Murphy's Law'* for you.
OCTOBER
A strong urge from Uranus will lead you to go where few dare to tread; do not be afraid, but please
do remember to wash your hands. Hygiene is very good for you, and will stop that tell-tale little
rash from occurring.
NOVEMBER
The Whingy Board has an urgent message for you from someone you met whilst sitting in the doctor's waiting room sometime last year. "It's the peas that do it dear, stop eating them and the trouble will
just blow away!"
DECEMBER
A quick peek into the murky depths of the Crystal Ball reveals that you will lose something very valuable to you this week; but don't worry, it will be of monetary value so it can be replaced in time.
DISCLAIMER
As we all know fortune telling is not an exact science, so Greebo T. Cat, The Post and indeed h2g2
cannot be held responsible for anything printed in The Horror Scope that is not one hundred percent
truthful. To be honest, I think you should all be jolly happy if one percent of the predictions come
true.
This statement in no way refutes Ms Cat's mystical gifts. So there!!!
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Mystic Greebs
